Band drama advice needed

[mattblissett]

We got together in March, just jamming with an aim to doing live funk/hip hop, myself on bass, a guitarist and a drummer, then we got a keyboard player, got a myspace page, one song on there and a jam session in front of a crowd which went really well.

Now, the drummer has said that he wants to take a break, this is after several rehearsals are cancelled or he fails to get his kit over to the rehearsal space/fails to arrange rehearsal space which was something I used to do but he felt he had found somewhere we could set up to record as well. The guitarist and I are incredibly frustrated but sympathetic to any personal problems that our drummer might have.

So, I go over to record some bass parts to a drum track he's putting together and we DO NOTHING, he's having his hair cut by his gf, and he says that when we next rehearse, he wants to do more heavy material(Deftones, RATM) which to me, is doing the same as a million other bands out there. He's a fantastic drummer and a good friend, but is he simply wasting my time or am I being too controlling? Please help me, I am losing time here that could be spent writing or rehearsing in a band environment.

[Depth_Charge]

He is wasting time. You guys really need to decide as a band whether you are all happy taking breaks, changing what you do etc, and go from there as a group, which is unfortunately not the way the drummer chose to go.

There's no reason you can't still be friends unless the friendship revolves around the band etc.

Good luck with it all mate.

D_C

[tycobb73]

I'll take hard work over talent anytime. Find another drummer who will keep to the schedule. This will only get worse.

[Phalex]

^ +1

It's OK to see other people, you're on a break!

[punkbassistfc]

Go for gold dude. Finda new drummer and do what you want.

[steveksux]

Two ways to go.

You guys do some songs he likes, he does some you like. Its a group effort, no reason his wishes should be ignored, nor yours.

If that won't work, and he isn't crazy about what you guys are doing, to the point he's pulling these passive aggressive stunts to derail practice and progress, get a new drummer.

Make up your mind now, before you get really pissed and ruin the friendship. It'll only get worse the longer you wait.

Randy

[IanStephenson]

Generally when someone starts acting like this they WANT out.

Have a chat, and ask him if he wants to leave - been on the receiving end of that one(different reasons)! In my case i didn't want to leave, we all cleared the air, and everything went forward much smoother.

Even if he is having problems elsewhere, if we was enjoying the band it would be an escape from those problems. Either he's not happy with something in the band (which you may or not be able to fix), or he has specific problems you can work around (or not).

However when people start messing you around, they're doing it for a reason - not necessarily the reason they give you (sometimes even they believe it though).

Think about how an ex-girlfriend treated you - there was a point where you got a whole load of runaround and excuses, which you tried to accomodate cause you liked her... Much later when you do split up you find out what what was really going on, and/or realise you should have split up back then, but have wasted a lot of time/unhappyness.

You need to figure ou t if this is just a genuine bump, or the end of the road.

Ian

[mattblissett]

thanks guys meeting up today to clear the air

[cnltb]

Good luck!

[mattblissett]

All sorted, he's going to form another project which will be just to do the heavier material and will run concurrently with ours, and the air was cleared, we're back rehearsing and he's incredibly focussed again! Drummers!