Band implosion...My fault? - Page 2

warnergt · #21 05-07-2012, 05:32 PM

Two weeks before a gig is a bad time to be bringing in friends.
I think I would have to side the the guitarist (presumably the BL)
on this one.

However, the fact that the problem escalated so quickly
suggests that your band already had underlying problems. You
may have merely accelerated the breakup of the band.

Sixpack324 · #22 05-07-2012, 05:33 PM

If your band crashes over something as trivial as this.......Then it's a godsend and you should walk away and look for another band.

I know it's hard sometimes to see the forest through the trees when you're close to the situation (like you are) but I really think that if they can't handle a simple situation like this without the band breaking up, it's time for you to cut bait and run. What are they gonna do when something more stressful comes up?

That being said......Regardless of what others have done......You really shouldn't have tried to bring anyone to rehearsal this close to a gig. It might not be distracting to you.....but you don't know how distracting it would be to the others in your band.

Personally.....I don't like guests at rehearsal.....They disrupt the collective 'Mojo' of the band.

Shows / gigs are for the audience....Rehearsal is a band thing.....Problems get worked out, dirty laundry gets aired out, etc.....Who wants to do that in front of an audience?

tommytutone · #23 05-07-2012, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sixpack324

That being said......Regardless of what others have done......You really shouldn't have tried to bring anyone to rehearsal this close to a gig. It might not be distracting to you.....but you don't know how distracting it would be to the others in your band.

Personally.....I don't like guests at rehearsal.....They disrupt the collective 'Mojo' of the band.

Shows / gigs are for the audience....Rehearsal is a band thing.....Problems get worked out, dirty laundry gets aired out, etc.....Who wants to do that in front of an audience?

I respect that opinion, and I won't make that mistake again. I'll make sure what the rules are beforehand, I just didn't think it was a big deal, but you're right I didn't consider it to be a distraction for the other guys. Probably because they've done it as well.

Live and learn I guess.

AltGrendel · #24 05-07-2012, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

1) If its uncool, then no one in the band should be allowed to bring people to rehearsal
2) If the others can do, no reason the OP should not be allowed to. Double standards because he's new? Eff that.

+1

Flyingfrets · #25 05-07-2012, 06:27 PM

We allow NO-ONE but the band at rehearsal. Band has been together since last September, gigging since January. Finally found a good fit for the keyboard/multi-instrumentalist spot in early April. Been locked down practicing since. Bringing a new guy up to speed on an entire band's catalog (all Beatles & note for note what you hear on the CDs) is no small feat. We start gigging again late May.

Audience is more than welcome then...not before.

If I read you correctly, they asked you to wait till after the gig on the 19th. Personally, I'd have waited if it was really that important to bring them, but I agree with everyone else. That's NO excuse for them folding altogether. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse & you became a convenient scapegoat.

nortonrider · #26 05-07-2012, 07:04 PM

PM me the guitarist email address.
I'll ask him what his problem is!
(since you obviously wont)

eb3mike · #27 05-07-2012, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4-stringB

I (we) bring friends to practice all the time, 'cause we like a knowledgeable audience for critique and for just general hangin' out. you guys are going to have to deal with distractions anyway, so what's the big deal ?? Sounds like you wound up with some(a) drama queen(s), to me. I would recommend you call the other members and talk, you might wind up the core of a new group, sans drama...Good Luck...

^Agree^...We normally have 2 to 10 people stop in and listen. Something about having the audience makes us all concentrate more. The instant feedback is helpful also.
Something not right here.

tommytutone · #28 05-07-2012, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nortonrider

PM me the guitarist email address.
I'll ask him what his problem is!
(since you obviously wont)

I did ask him, read the thread. Thanks for the contribution!

NightTripper · #29 05-07-2012, 08:01 PM

IMO, those guys seem like self-righteous drama queens. I'd wash my hands of them and happily try to find some more down-to-earth people to play with.

1SHOT1HIT · #30 05-07-2012, 08:05 PM

I say just move on sleep easy, even if it was completely your fault (Which does not seem to be so)
Just move on and stop stressing over it. Find another band there are tons of them out there. Seems to me that if it wasn't this it would have been something else along the way.
At least this wasn't that big of a deal.

I agree having people at a rehearsal seems like it would be a distraction not so much for you but the other members.
However if they can do it so should else.
All the energy your spending in this thread could be better applied to searching for a local band that isn't so full of drama.
If this continues to happen or you continue to experience this same treatment then maybe you should start loosing sleep, for now it was your first band and you learned from it.

David A. Egeler · #31 05-07-2012, 08:14 PM

Fun is fun and friends are friends , but remember to check the ego at the door !!!! Some people do become distraught very easily. Marking our territory never changes with the species. Someone in the group wanted to form an opinion with another, to simply make a change. Play with more professional minded people and keep smiling !!!!!!

**Stumbo** · #32 05-07-2012, 08:20 PM

Seems to me that they already decided to ask you to leave and were looking for a new bass player so this minor situation was blown up to get rid of you. They even may have someone up to speed and lied about "breaking up the band" and "canceling the gig".

This "new guy" status rubs me the wrong way, especially if your ideas are constructive and help the band. I've read about it so many times on TB and the inflated egos of the other players that make them do things that are contrary to the band's success is mind blowing.

tommytutone · #33 05-07-2012, 08:25 PM

Thanks everyone for the support.

Just a thought, maybe we need a thread asking, " what is the stupidest reason you've heard or seen for busting up a band?"

tommytutone · #34 05-07-2012, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Seems to me that they already decided to ask you to leave and were looking for a new bass player so this minor situation was blown up to get rid of you. They even may have someone up to speed and lied about "breaking up the band" and "canceling the gig".

This "new guy" status rubs me the wrong way, especially if your ideas are constructive and help the band. I've read about it so many times on TB and the inflated egos of the other players that make them do things that are contrary to the band's success is mind blowing.

Yeah, I wondered about that too. Seems like people that are afraid to speak their mind might go about it like that. If that's true they had plenty of time to tell me in a decent manner. It would have hurt but I'd have been on my way and lookin to improve on it with another band.

The "new guy" thing gets me too. To me, length of time in the band doesn't coincide with the ability to get along with people. Makes me wonder what's more important, outstanding chops, or sufficient chops and the ability to communicate.

Thanks Stumbo

gfaulkner · #35 05-07-2012, 08:57 PM

Until you stated your age ,I thought this was a band of teenage to early twenty somethings.The term GUITARD was coined after dudes like that.

tommytutone · #36 05-07-2012, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gfaulkner

Until you stated your age ,I thought this was a band of teenage to early twenty somethings.The term GUITARD was coined after dudes like that.

Well i have no doubt it's childish, I'm sure I fell into that trap. But I guess I'd had enough and stooped to his level. The drummer told me the guitarist is like a 50 year old child.

winndaddy · #37 05-08-2012, 01:34 AM

Could of been that they thought you were not cutting it, you never can really tell. One things for sure though, something had to have been boiling before you asked to bring your friends. Nobody cancels a gig just because of that....

How long have you been playing compared to them?

Downunderwonder · #38 05-08-2012, 01:37 AM

Find a young gun guitar player and a singer and steal the drummer. You'll have a ball.

mellowinman · #39 05-08-2012, 05:46 AM

I'd have given you an earful over bringing friends so close to a gig, but it would've HARDLY broken up the band!

Sounds like you've got some sensitive Sallies there. And you know what cures a case of the Sensitive Sallies, don't you?

One of the most useful things our mommies teach us as small children is how to say, "buh-bye!"

Curmei · #40 05-08-2012, 06:36 AM

We spent fifteen years in rehearsal spaces, surrounded on all sides by other bands. No friends were allowed at band meetings, but if we were playing, people came by all the time, and hung on the couch - we did the same with bands we liked. It was never a distraction - was a way to practice playing in front of people, and deal with the randomness of live shows, is how I saw it.

Of course, the fun part about art is that you don't find many people who see things the same way. That can also be the challenging part of art.

Sounds to me, like this was an excuse for a larger issue, but who knows... some people are just more sensitive than others.