Band leader pissed at drummer, What do I do?

spaz21387 · #1 07-08-2011, 12:59 PM

So we were and still are going to seattle tonight to promote some shows at the end of the month. So I wake up to a call from my bandleader saying the drummer isnt going to seattle. He says he has a sore throat. Honestly I think the drummer should suck it up and go help us out. He doesnt even have to drive. Seattle is a good 3 hours away from us. I think the reason hes flaking out is because he thinks that we need him. It is true we do need him for the shows we have booked, But I dont want to be in a band with flakes. So what should we do?

OriginalSnub · #2 07-08-2011, 01:07 PM

If he's sick, he's sick. Now if there were a gig then yeah I would say suck it up. When it starts to become a regular thing is when you should start to worry. IMO

electracoyote · #3 07-08-2011, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaz21387

So we were and still are going to seattle tonight to promote some shows at the end of the month.

If you're not playing, you don't really need him.

But if he makes a habit out of ducking the promo and business-related stuff, that's not good. Everyone needs to do their part off-stage as well as on.

tdub0199 · #4 07-08-2011, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by electracoyote

If you're not playing, you don't really need him.

But if he makes a habit out of ducking the promo and business-related stuff, that's not good. Everyone needs to do their part off-stage as well as on.

^This^ is how I see it as well... although I feel your frustration but he's sick right? If he continues to come up with "so called" excuses for ducking out of the "Off Stage" stuff then you have a real problem....

bluewine · #5 07-08-2011, 01:15 PM

I think you have a Guy that is always going to take issue with travel.

bassgod0dmw · #6 07-08-2011, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OriginalSnub

If he's sick, he's sick. Now if there were a gig then yeah I would say suck it up.

+1

bluewine · #7 07-08-2011, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by electracoyote

If you're not playing, you don't really need him.

But if he makes a habit out of ducking the promo and business-related stuff, that's not good. Everyone needs to do their part off-stage as well as on.

I think they should make sure this Guy is 100% down with doing the shows

If he bailed on promo stuff, he might bail on the shows too.

Bass Mule · #8 07-08-2011, 01:19 PM

I don't know. I think you should read into it. </sarcasm>

HolmeBass · #9 07-08-2011, 01:27 PM

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but if a pattern develops it's obviously a problem. Or not. Do you really need him there to do promo? How many people can talk during an interview anyway?

capnsandwich · #10 07-08-2011, 01:38 PM

Just give him the 3 strike rule. This would be his first strike. You'll see, over time, if he has a pattern of being a flake or not. Be careful, though. Drummers, good ones that is, are hard to come by so don't be so quick to fire him. If he gets his second strike soon, I'd have a talk with him to see where his heart is. Let him know the band's vision and try to incorporate everyone to see the same thing.

**A Strohman** · #11 07-08-2011, 01:39 PM

I think you should camp outside his house or otherwise attempt round the clock surveilance in order to determine if he's really sick. Then confornt him and demand he admit his flakiness before dropping to his knees to beg forgivness.

Or.....

Don't sweat it. Maybe he's sick, maybe his girlfriend is busting his nads, maybe he just doesn't feel like a six hour round trip because he DVR'd the Twilight Zone marathon and wants to park his butt in front of his TV for a day. In bands (and in life) you only get so many cards like this to play and he's deciding to use one now. If he does it again, or does something else to demonstrate he's really not into this whole thing, then I'd start worrying about it. But if this is the first thing this guy has done, I wouldn't get wadded up over it.

Downunderwonder · #12 07-08-2011, 08:48 PM

I wouldn't want to do 6 hours in a car with someone coming down with the flu either.

azureblue · #13 07-08-2011, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Downunderwonder

I wouldn't want to do 6 hours in a car with someone coming down with the flu either.

Ditto.

Munjibunga · #14 07-08-2011, 11:37 PM

You should play bass.

Depth_Charge · #15 07-11-2011, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaz21387

So we were and still are going to seattle tonight to promote some shows at the end of the month. So I wake up to a call from my bandleader saying the drummer isnt going to seattle. He says he has a sore throat. Honestly I think the drummer should suck it up and go help us out. He doesnt even have to drive. Seattle is a good 3 hours away from us. I think the reason hes flaking out is because he thinks that we need him. It is true we do need him for the shows we have booked, But I dont want to be in a band with flakes. So what should we do?

Based on that, and assuming the drummer is in fact sick and not required anyway, I'd go to Seattle with the band leader and let him worry about how to handle the drummer.

spaz21387 · #16 07-11-2011, 02:16 AM

He wasnt sick it was one of those fake cough cough I have a sore throat cough moments. The band leader could tell. Im just worried hes that going to flake us again. We had lots of fun in seattle though. We are going to let it go but if it keeps happening we have to replace him, We just want someone whos dedicated to the music and reliable.

Edward G. · #17 07-11-2011, 06:57 AM

If the bandleader is truly a leader, then there is going to be a meeting where issues such as this one get aired out. Many valid points have been brought here.

But this is how I view it: You cannot be considered a full-fledged member of any band unless you shoulder the inconveniences that come along with it. If the band is going on a promotional junket that requires the whole band, I think you find a way to go unless you're in a body cast.

This stuff has to be nipped in the bud if there is an ounce of seriousness to pursuing greater popularity and success. On the other hand, if everybody's just funnin' around in the group as a diversion, then it doesn't matter one way or the other.

tZer · #18 07-11-2011, 11:48 AM

IMO the band 'leader' is responsible for dealing the the band personnel issues, not you.

I think the leader would do the band a lot of good by establishing some expectations - like whether or not he expects all band members to be a part of promo events. Some bands are there to back up the leader and it's the leader who's name and face 'is' the band, for all intents and purposes. If that's the case with your band - that it's your 'leader's' band and you guys are the band behind the leader, then it would also be reasonable to expect that he's the one who would be doing the 'face time' promos - and the rest of you are optional.

But if the 'leader' is just the guy responsible for setting up practices and making set lists - and the band is a 'band-band', not a 'front guy + backing band' - then it's reasonable to expect everyone to participate in promo stuff.

Ask your leader to set up some expectations - and consequences for not living up to them - and 'acceptable notification' clauses, etc... Otherwise, you feeling obligated to 'do something' because 'your band's leader is pissed at the drummer' is your issue to contend with. Personally, if I were in a band who had a leader, I'd let the leader deal with these things.