Band members who continuously make excuses...

Craig_S · #1 09-02-2011, 09:57 AM

...about why they haven't learned the material.

How do you handle it?

Rumblefisher · #2 09-02-2011, 09:59 AM

If they are willing to discuss it, I ask why they haven't done what they should and listen to them, uninterrupted.

If it's honest difficulty, help is always available in any form necessary.

If it's laziness, the door is wide open to walk on home and practice till you know what you are doing

WalterBush · #3 09-02-2011, 10:00 AM

Depends on the excuses. A bandmate of mine was once going through a divorce...we were prepared to put the project on hold for a while, but he wanted to keep playing so we did. When he showed up not knowing the tunes, we just gave him space for a few months until things got sorted out for him.

Anything short of that, I would find a new band member after a while.

**jmattbassplaya** · #4 09-02-2011, 10:19 AM

I kick them out of the band. Sometimes things do pop up and someone will have a legitimate excuse as to why they couldn't learn something, but after the second time of showing up unprepared it becomes obvious that's just how they do things.

Craig_S · #5 09-02-2011, 10:45 AM

Yeah. I told the other guys the next rehearsal is the last one for him, if it happens again. It's an unfortunate situation. This is a new project that is going nowhere fast.

onosson · #6 09-02-2011, 10:50 AM

Even worse are bandleaders who deal with situation by scheduling otherwise unnecessary full-band rehearsals so one member can learn the tunes.

JasonLamb · #7 09-02-2011, 10:59 AM

it sounds like the person does not really care...tell him to hit the bricks.

Craig_S · #8 09-02-2011, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onosson

Even worse are bandleaders who deal with situation by scheduling otherwise unnecessary full-band rehearsals so one member can learn the tunes.

I'm a firm believer in homework. We should only be working out bugs and harmonies at rehearsals.

Waterpilot · #9 09-02-2011, 11:59 AM

For me right now it's the band "leader." He has all sorts of excuses (Married with Children and an odd work schedule). Sub'd.

tZer · #10 09-02-2011, 01:14 PM

Excuses are like...

Excuses don't mean a thing. You either do or you don't. If you do, you're in - if you don't, you're out.

I've been in bands where everyone was always on top of their game, never came to rehearsal unprepared and always delivered the goods. I've also been in bands where some people simply had no clue that they were supposed to do their homework and thought the only time they had to think about the band was at rehearsal. Those people need to be culled from the herd.

Sundogue · #11 09-02-2011, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tZer

Excuses are like...

Excuses don't mean a thing. You either do or you don't. If you do, you're in - if you don't, you're out.

I've been in bands where everyone was always on top of their game, never came to rehearsal unprepared and always delivered the goods. I've also been in bands where some people simply had no clue that they were supposed to do their homework and thought the only time they had to think about the band was at rehearsal. Those people need to be culled from the herd.

Exactly. These days everyone is busy. My time is valuable, as is the other band members. The time to learn the material is on one's own time. When the whole band rehearses...it's just that...a rehearsal (for a gig), not practice time for individuals.

I hesitate to even call band rehearsals practice. The word practice implies practicing...i.e.- learning one's part to material, learning and developing the chops to play said material. Going over and over the songs until you own them.

Then, when you get to band rehearsal, if everyone has practiced, you truly can rehearse for the show.

Nothing I hate more than losers who keep making excuses. Do it, or don't. But if you aren't prepared with your part, then you better be prepared to be replaced by someone who can. Life's too short to lose any time at all to others who think nothing of wasting a part of your life.

Sometimes there are legitimate excuses...but even at that, that is something that should be brought up prior to the next rehearsal so it can be rescheduled for a time when the time is better served. Excuses can become a habit if tolerated.

guitfiddle0409 · #12 09-02-2011, 03:22 PM

My band often has informal couch/acoustic type rehearsals to work out parts so we don't waste our drummer's time. Unless, of course, it's a blues tune. If that's the case he can try and sit still for the 5 minutes while we discuss the changes. That seems to be the max that most drummers can sit still without hitting something.

tZer · #13 09-02-2011, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Exactly. These days everyone is busy. My time is valuable, as is the other band members. The time to learn the material is on one's own time. When the whole band rehearses...it's just that...a rehearsal (for a gig), not practice time for individuals.

I hesitate to even call band rehearsals practice. The word practice implies practicing...i.e.- learning one's part to material, learning and developing the chops to play said material. Going over and over the songs until you own them.

Then, when you get to band rehearsal, if everyone has practiced, you truly can rehearse for the show.

Nothing I hate more than losers who keep making excuses. Do it, or don't. But if you aren't prepared with your part, then you better be prepared to be replaced by someone who can. Life's too short to lose any time at all to others who think nothing of wasting a part of your life.

Sometimes there are legitimate excuses...but even at that, that is something that should be brought up prior to the next rehearsal so it can be rescheduled for a time when the time is better served. Excuses can become a habit if tolerated.

People who offer excuses are practiced at the art of projection and deception.

People who simply accept that they didn't come in prepared and say so are more likely to have a legitimate reason for their circumstances. They'll say, "Man... I am sorry. I just didn't get it done." Not, "I didn't get it done because my dog ate my cord..." - They will just own it. They also tend to be the people who don't do it again.

I have so much more respect for people who are willing to accept that they are fallible and not try to excuse their failings (especially since those failings are usually few and far between). They also know that they can simply own their failure because their track record bears out that it's an anomaly, not the norm - whereas the excuse makers are totally vice versa... Always coming in with some sort of life drama that prevented them from being able to make it go.

Excuse makers give me worms...

Sundogue · #14 09-02-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitfiddle0409

My band often has informal couch/acoustic type rehearsals to work out parts so we don't waste our drummer's time. Unless, of course, it's a blues tune. If that's the case he can try and sit still for the 5 minutes while we discuss the changes. That seems to be the max that most drummers can sit still without hitting something.

Interesting. I sometimes rehearse with my drummer. Just him and I and no one else. We are one tight rhythm section.

Nothing wrong with only parts of the band rehearsing if there is a benefit to it, especially if any players' time would be wasted by others attending.

onosson · #15 09-02-2011, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Interesting. I sometimes rehearse with my drummer. Just him and I and no one else. We are one tight rhythm section.

Nothing wrong with only parts of the band rehearsing if there is a benefit to it, especially if any players' time would be wasted by others attending.

An excellent idea that more people should partake in!

Sundogue · #16 09-02-2011, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onosson

An excellent idea that more people should partake in!

I only started doing it with my current drummer. The guy is a synchopation machine and while it makes for some very exciting gigs, it is really cool to work on parts just between him and I.

We still improvise on gigs, but man there is so much we put into locking it down, especially with complex pieces that when we get to a gig, we are practically inside each others heads. And we find it important because the drummer and I formed our progressive blues band with the concept being all about the groove (instead of it being about a guitarist or singer).

Fun stuff!

JohnMCA72 · #17 09-02-2011, 03:58 PM

That's one of my big hot buttons! That is just so incredibly rude, to waste everybody else's time like that. Last time it happened to me, I solved the problem by walking.

Prior to that point, though, can be a variety of techniques to try to bring somebody around. First, have a little group talk to make sure that everybody knows what the plan is & what's expected. I generally try not to humiliate other people, either privately or in front of others, since that seldom does any good & just generates bad feelings. I've done (or at least offered) 1-on-1 sessions to help somebody get going. A lot just depends on the person, though. If they're just plan lazy, unmotivated, etc. I don't think there's anything anyone can do other than walk.

friskinator · #18 09-02-2011, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onosson

Even worse are bandleaders who deal with situation by scheduling otherwise unnecessary full-band rehearsals so one member can learn the tunes.

I'm dealing with that same problem in a project I've been involved with lately. To make things worse, the bandleader is just as guilty as some of the other players of not learning the tunes. He's one of those types who's always "too busy" to learn the material. Unfortunately, he's also one of those types that doesn't respond well to criticism. If things don't change soon, I'm walking.

EddiePlaysBass · #19 09-03-2011, 10:31 AM

Well in my case, I kept on playing with them for a total of 8 years, and weekly played the same 15 cover tunes which would be interchanged during the sparse live gigs we actually had so as to make the set list "feel fresh". Looking back I really wonder how the heck I managed to keep at it for so long, and more to the point: why?

My current band is 180°: everyone comes in knowing the new songs well enough to play through them and see if they will work or not. Depending on the time, we then spend one rehearsal working them out and voilà, they get integrated into the set list. And hey, on some occasions it's a matter of: Guys, we have 30 minutes left. These are the chords, let's hash out tune X. And voilà, tune X gets integrated into the set list.

My advice? Walk, don't run. People who consistently do not learn songs that were agreed upon during the previous band meeting, will not change their ways. And as SOON as you let them get away with it, which you did, they will never get around to learning anything other than what they want to play. Take it from someone who spent 8 years with a singer like that.

Jason P Bass · #20 09-03-2011, 11:15 AM

I left an all-original band that wrote 1 song in 14 months. When we tried to learn a cover (Blur - Song 2) I had to give guitar lessons because the lead guitar player was too useless to learn it before rehearsal. Even then, it was FAR too difficult to teach him the lead part (5 DIFFERENT NOTES FFS!!!)

2 weeks later I'm in a new group. We had 2 rehearsals and wrote 2.5 songs. Now I'm disappointed that I wasted so much time with the previous band.

A group of people who cannot match your motivation and work ethic will drag you down, burn up your youth, and crush your ability to enjoy music.

Clearly communicate your expectations and give them a fair chance to get their act together. But if they can't / won't, it is truly time for you to move up.