Circling the drain...

txbasschik · #1 01-30-2008, 09:53 AM

Well folks, I think we are just about finished. We got through three songs last night. The rest of it was spent arguing. Singer tossed an effyou at the drummer. Oh, and we don't have any real vote. Its not our band. If Singer doesn't want to compromise on something, we're vetoed.

Before we were done, Singer was asking how many gigs we have left to play.

We're supposed to play our first real gig in months, this Friday.

Practices suck. Out loud.

Its really sad, you know? We're good. We really are good. With the originals we've been working on (when we work on songs instead of arguing

), we sound *awesome*. All that is going to go to waste.

One of my old bandmates told me the other night how happy she was for me to belong to such a good band, and that I deserve it. I never told her the things we go through. She heard us for the first time at my jam on Saturday, and was over the moon for us.

But yeah...its just not working. For any of us. Drummer and I must walk on eggs. It never fails that if he says *anything*, just the slightest thing, with the "wrong tone", Singer blows up. I even recounted this latest incident as a person just watching...made no difference. They can't compromise. (Rather, Singer can't. Or won't.)

I'm calling a few people today. Set up a jam at the house with them. See if a band shapes up. Just to have a positive practice experience for the first time in a long time, if nothing else.

Sinking ship...I need to find a lifeboat before the Titanic goes down.

Cherie

makaky · #2 01-30-2008, 10:06 AM

Unless you make a crap load of money with this singer or its giving you a very good exposure, i suggest you try something else.

Valerus · #3 01-30-2008, 10:09 AM

Change singers.

txbasschik · #4 01-30-2008, 10:16 AM

Can't change singers. They're a couple.

Its time to get that "house jam" thing going that I've been talking about. My Mom says not only will she not mind, but she'll really enjoy the music. Yes, even if its loud rock.

I was worried about that, with her moving in with us. But, as long as she can retreat from it when she needs to, she's fine with it. Good!

I think I can get a band together out of a steady house jam. This one is just...toxic. Everyone agreed so.

Too bad. We're too good for this...I'm not being conceited, we really are. Stupid emotions getting in the way of great music...that has to be a sin.

Cherie

DaveDeVille · #5 01-30-2008, 10:17 AM

Cherie ,
sorry to hear about that ... sh*t happens .

seems like the singer dosen't know a good thing when she hears it ,
and sooner or later she'll regret treating ya'll like this .

hope it works itself out , i know you've been really patient ...

peace,
dave

mjolnir · #6 01-30-2008, 10:32 AM

Here's to new beginnings and singers that ain't douchebags. (raises glass)

Sucks to be in that situation, but things have a way of working themselves out eventually.

CincyBassMan · #7 01-30-2008, 10:32 AM

Man, that really sucks!!

I was hopin' against hope that things were finally working out...It's a pity the Singer is so insecure!

I applaud your decision to start the Home Jam. Glad to hear your Mom won't mind...

You know we're all behind YOU!!

Russ

Valerus · #8 01-30-2008, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txbasschik

Can't change singers. They're a couple.

Oh. Well in that case...you win some and you lose some.

invader3k · #9 01-30-2008, 11:23 AM

Cherie, from what everyone on this board says, you're obviously too good to put up with these clowns anymore. Why not start your own band? (Which it sounds like you're planning, anyway).

RiddimKing · #10 01-30-2008, 11:26 AM

Sorry for your band pain. All I can say is that when you finally have a good group of people together, doing good music and getting along and having fun, you'll have a good "oh, yeah? You think your old band had some pus-heads in it? Lemme tell you about mine..." story to tell. These stories go really well with beer.

cymbop · #11 01-30-2008, 12:28 PM

More power to ya, Cherie. You'll find the people you deserve to have around you.

Slater · #12 01-30-2008, 12:51 PM

Can you recruit the drummer (if you want/need to)?

Febs · #13 01-30-2008, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txbasschik

Stupid emotions getting in the way of great music...that has to be a sin.

If it is, it's the musical equivalent of original sin, unfortunately, as it is a story that is probably as old as music itself.

RED5 · #14 01-30-2008, 01:03 PM

A band really is an emotional thing. People grouped together to pour out their hearts. I liken it to a romance. It has a cycle that needs renewing (read;gigs ,recording ,a purpose! ) If it's not self fulfilling? then it's gonna eat itself. That's why I dig open mics so much. Sort of non commital but good when they're good. That and i haven't needed to write a songlist or pick a name for the band in ages. It may be time for you to move on and take what you learned from the experience. And repeat as necessary many many more times till you get it right....heh!

John Wentzien · #15 01-30-2008, 01:11 PM

People like that will RUIN your musical experience. I had to fire one of the best drummers I had ever worked with because he couldn't "play well with others".
One of the most important aspects of being a musician is getting along well with other people.

Bassic83 · #16 01-30-2008, 01:23 PM

Dang, I knew this was coming. You'll be OK, though, Cherie. You're good enough, smart enough, and goshdarnit, people LIKE you! </StuartSmalleyVoice> Find some other players, don't allow yourself into any more couples bands. They just aren't worth the hassle. Every one I've been in has been a really great band for a while, but the infighting makes it impossible for me to stay. And I'm pretty easy to get along with! Just don't get sucked into the undertow, and let Jealous Jul know that she's pretty much a solo act in your mind. If you do try to work with the drummer, be advised that this is not advised. My advice would be to make a clean break of it, spend a week or two making fresh contacts and clearing the toxic sludge from your brain, and getting on with the next thing. Even if it is only a jam, and temporary, you should have no trouble snagging a new drummer to work with, and that is the heart of any band- the rhythm section! So just be a surgeon and excise the tumor! (It's NOT a TUMAH!) Take a little time for YOU, not too much, but enough to clear your head, and then jump back in to something else.

QORC · #17 01-30-2008, 02:32 PM

this has been building a long time for you, cherie. You knew yoiu were on a sinking ship, but your loyalty made you stick around.

but life is too short to work with tools like them. Just move on.

Trust me, something better is out there waiting for you.

You know what I've been through the last 2 years and where I am now.

it will happen for you too. keep your chin up. And run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.

winstonthecat · #18 01-30-2008, 02:47 PM

That's a bummer. When you quit, you should try to have an honest conversation with the group as to why you are leaving. It won't help your situation, but it might help them out in the future, and would be good karma for you.

Good luck in finding/creating a new band.

**Thor** · #19 01-30-2008, 02:47 PM

Dump Yoko and forget it. You're done.

locolobo85 · #20 01-30-2008, 03:00 PM

You can polish brass but it will never turn to gold.

It's a real shame. If you all sound that good with such negative vibes flying around just imagine what positive vibes could create. The only problem is that the chemistry is what it is. The overall chemistry of any group is a mystical thing that only happens when it happens.

Here's to good chemistry.