Did I do the right thing - Band Woes

[buzzbass]

Sorry for the novel folks......

Well, I just quit the band that I was asked to join a month ago. I was promised a near working band with a fleshed out set list. What I got was a band that had a set list of 45 songs, about 15 of which they actually knew all together. There were other songs that some players knew and others didn't, and still don't know. I know 40 of the 45 songs, ready to go, right now.

The guitar player sounds great, he has great gear and a very good rock tone. The problem here is knowledge. he has no clue on theory, he can't even tell me the names of the chords he's playing. As such, he keeps 4 guitars in various tunings to match the weird drop tuning that some of the more modern bands use. Hence, he only knows how to play a given song one way. Ask him to change keys, even 1/2 a step, and he's totally f*cked. We've even gotten into a heated "discussion" on the subject. He has anger management issues, is on medication, and this "attitude" is just brushed under the rug by the rest of the guys in the band. Those who know me will tell you, I don't think I'm god's gift to bass, in fact just the opposite. So I'm having problems mentally, because I'm thinking that this guy sucks, yet who am I to talk. Can a guy still be a good player with such limited knowledge. I'm thinking not, but I'm feeling guilty for being judgemental. Especially since I'm not exactly Jaco either.

Last week they brought in a 2nd guitar player, that they knew and had a past with. He showed up with monster gear and not a clue on how to play ANY of the songs. This guy was sold to me as a monster player who knew tons of songs and had much cover gig experience. From where I was sitting, nothing could be further from the truth. Anyway, after a sh*tty audition last week he was in. He was told everything sounded great, welcome aboard Nobody ever asked me what I thought.

Cut to this morning, our usual wed. practice is from 8-11. And thursdays is 9-11. I have my assigned 4 new songs ready, but was told that new guitar guy isn't ready with those yet. Ok whatever. I was also told that practices would now be wed. & thurs. from 10PM to 1 AM. ***, I have to get up for work @ 4:30am !? When I asked why,I was told so that it works better for new guitar guy. My dedication to the project was then questioned . Now these other 4 guys are all in their 40s, yet still work in local music stores (for no money) and still think it's not too late to "make it". Their jobs allow them to sleep late, not mine though. Add all this to the fact that drummer guy hasn't learned a new song in a month.

I threw my hands up in disgust and quit today. All I wanted was a working cover band to have some fun and make a little money with. I didn't bargain for all this hassle. So I quit. But now I feel guilty. Is ANY gig better than NO gig at all. I used to think it didn't matter to me, as long as we had gigs on the calendar. I've been told that these guys were connected and could get gigs as soon as THE BAND is ready. Well I've learned just about the whole list, and everyone else knows less than 1/2 of it. So, when will we be ready ? My hunch is never. But, now I'm bummed, because I have no band again.

So, did i do the right thing, or should I have just sucked it up.

[Roger Pounders]

you did the right thing

[jive1]

You did the right thing. I bet by the time you found another band, gigged with them and quit, they'll probably still be trying to get their stuff together. Some people are more into hanging out and dreaming about rock stardom than playing gigs. There's nothing wrong with guys who want to jam out and have fun, but it's wrong when they try to bring someone in "to gig" just so they have a bassist for their jam sessions.

If people aren't learning songs and coming prepared at rehearsals, the band may never be ready. At their pace, how long will it take them to come up with 40 songs? Probably much longer than a set of seasoned pros. Seriously, it's not out of the question for a band to get 40 songs down easily in under a month. If they aren't showing you that they are serious about getting out of the garage, then you're not a good match.

Add in the fact that they have rehearsals that end at 1 AM, the guitarist isn't knowledgeable about theory, drummer hasn't learned songs, it will be hard to get any serious bassist in that band.

I'd rather have no gig than a bad gig. My time is very valuable to me.

[Bottom Feeder]

Yeah, you did the right thing.

I've been there. These guys will NEVER be ready. They will feed you every type of excuse as to why they can't, didn't or couldn't learn this week's list of practice tunes. They will further make decisions without your consultation, and they will further change times and dates to meet THEIR schedule and not yours.

The fact that they are in their 40's, working at a music store and think they are still gonna make it should be a good sign to you to stay away.

Get some reasonable people with regular day jobs and families that understand that other people's time and consideration are as important as their own.

[Relic]

Nah you did what you had to do, dude. From what you describe, that's just a band full of headaches.

[jady]

Good call, NO regrets, you made the right choice!!!!!

[QORC]

Originally Posted by buzzbass

Sorry for the novel folks......
Last week they brought in a 2nd guitar player, that they knew and had a past with. He showed up with monster gear and not a clue on how to play ANY of the songs. This guy was sold to me as a monster player who knew tons of songs and had much cover gig experience. From where I was sitting, nothing could be further from the truth. Anyway, after a sh*tty audition last week he was in. He was told everything sounded great, welcome aboard Nobody ever asked me what I thought.

wow. same thing happened to me in my last band. I wasn't asked my opinion on a new player until they had already asked him in. It was the beginning of the end for me.

sounds like you have real compatability issues and this group doesn't have its **** together. If it were me, I'd move on. The sooner the better.

[QORC]

Originally Posted by jive1

If people aren't learning songs and coming prepared at rehearsals, the band may never be ready. At their pace, how long will it take them to come up with 40 songs? Probably much longer than a set of seasoned pros. Seriously, it's not out of the question for a band to get 40 songs down easily in under a month. If they aren't showing you that they are serious about getting out of the garage, then you're not a good match.

Add in the fact that they have rehearsals that end at 1 AM, the guitarist isn't knowledgeable about theory, drummer hasn't learned songs, it will be hard to get any serious bassist in that band.

I'd rather have no gig than a bad gig. My time is very valuable to me.

+1

[smidgley]

To paraphrase some advice sometimes given to someone in a bad relationship, "It's better to not be in a band than to wish you weren't".

[pointbass]

Don, definitely the right thing to do ....... knowing a little about your previous situation, at least that was a real working band with good chops for the stuff they do. You deserve to be working steady, not in some endless rehearsal band.

You also know my situation with the current trio .... no monster players, very standard commercial cover tunes, nothing fancy at all, but we work all of the time and make decent cake. Plus the guys are very nice cats and I'm enjoying the gig quite a bit.

Sometimes we find the good stuff in the weirdest places, I'm sure your good stuff is right around the corner .....

[buzzbass]

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it really makes me feel better about my decision. I'm not one who quits things easily, so this was a tough decision. So tell me this, why do I feel guilty. Like I stabbed them in the back or something ? *** !?

[cheezewiz]

You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. That band is a nightmare, and it's HIGHLY doubtful they'd ever escape the basement.

[mrmoonjam]

First...I'm, like, 1000% in agreement that you did the right thing. The scene those guys have going apparently works for them so I'm not gonna put it down. But it's not the right place for you. The fact that there's no apparent movement toward gigging is plenty reason to walk, IMHO. Irreconcilable differences...divorce time.

Originally Posted by buzzbass

So tell me this, why do I feel guilty. Like I stabbed them in the back or something ? *** !?

Looking at it from their side, you've relieved them of a dissatisfied, frustrated band member. Makes it a win-win.

[bassbully43]

Heck dont feel bad at all...the time change and them not knowing the songs or being prepared in practice would have me walking for sure. I know how you feel about the stabbing them in the back feeling. By a vote or 20 to 0 on TB votes (thanks guys) i left my old classic rock bad due to mounting problems and getting a new cooler gig. I felt bad this week watching and helping them load their gear into their trucks after being with them for over a year...but i didnt get enough help or felt we were going anyplace so i made a move. You did the same and it was needed. Next time interview the next band and put it all up front tell them what you want and what you expect from them or you will walk ...simple tuff but as said here before your time is worth alot to you and a band going no where is wasting it..

[SteveC]

You did the right thing. As much as it sucks, sometimes no gig is the better choice. You sound like you have things together and a good attitude. You just need to find guys that think like you and you'll be good to go.

Time is very precious and can't be wasted. I am even more particular about that now with my beautiful 6 month old daughter to consider.

[Intune]

Originally Posted by buzzbass

... Ask him to change keys, even 1/2 a step, and he's totally f*cked... He has anger management issues, is on medication, and this "attitude" is just brushed under the rug by the rest of the guys in the band... So I'm having problems mentally, because I'm thinking that this guy sucks... Anyway, after a sh*tty audition last week he was in. He was told everything sounded great, welcome aboard Nobody ever asked me what I thought... I have my assigned 4 new songs ready, but was told that new guitar guy isn't ready with those yet... I was also told that practices would now be wed. & thurs. from 10PM to 1 AM... When I asked why,I was told so that it works better for new guitar guy... Add all this to the fact that drummer guy hasn't learned a new song in a month.

I condensed your post a bit. How smart would it have been to stay? You were never IN this "band." They "TOLD" you how things were gonna be? Please... Don't feel bad about moving on. You didn't quit, they did. Years ago. You merely distanced yourself from a bunch of quitters. Rock on to a better place!

[Slater]

Originally Posted by buzzbass

...now I'm bummed, because I have no band again.

You never had a band. You had a bunch of losers wasting your time!

Now you can use that time to find a real band.

[buzzbass]

All I can say is you people rock, thanks again. It really is like a brotherhood between us bass players.