Even though I've technically left the band...

GearHeadBassMan · #1 08-23-2009, 02:19 AM

I told them I was quitting, and being a sport (and because Im friends with all of them) I signed on to play the last couple gigs with them (only about 6 from now until the end of october, most of which are close by)

One of the guitard's friend's bands just broke up, and he came over to jam in my place. He also came along to the gig the other night, to get a feel for the whole operation.

Thing is, he's a cool guy, seems to fit in with the guitard and our guitarist/singer but I'm sort of afraid that my drummer (ex-drummer) doesn't really feel his vibe. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THIS. But I do. This drummer and I vibed really well and I sort of feel bad leaving him with a bassist that he doesn't meld with well.

Should I try to bring it up with the guitards? I feel like if I say "let drummer make the final decision" would be fair since after all, when it was just me and guitarist/singer, I had final say on drummer and he had say on the other guitarist. Since in the end, drummer will really be playing with new bassist, I feel like I should step in.

On the other hand, it's no longer my business. FWIW, I haven't asked the drummer what he thinks of new bassist, I'm just going with the gut feeling I get from knowing drummer.

I guess I don't want to leave knowing that my other half isn't happy with my replacement. Or maybe I'm just going through band withdrawal.

Sorry for the long post, I can't sleep.

phatbass · #2 08-23-2009, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GearHeadBassMan

On the other hand, it's no longer my business.

It's not your problem.

**Stumbo** · #3 08-23-2009, 05:39 AM

You've quit so you're subbing until they fill your spot. Let them decide who will replace you. You're going based on the slimmest of assumptions and may create drama where none need exist. If you speak up, you're attempting to get involved with a management issue that you won't have responsibility for after you leave. Let the drummer work it out with the rest of the band. It's not your call. Time move on, mentally and emotionally speaking.

Quitter's remorse? Kinda like buyer's remorse, only in reverse?

Just curious, why are you quitting?

Maybe the drummer is just unhappy that you're quitting and is projecting his unhappiness onto the potential new bass player?

Good luck.

jdieh1 · #4 08-23-2009, 07:21 AM

I'd just chat with the drummer about how they feel towards the new bassist and if he has some concerns then just casually say tot eh rest of the band that you think that the drummer should have the last say in whether they get the new bassist or not.

If they don't like the idea then don't pursue it further but who knows.

stflbn · #5 08-23-2009, 07:39 AM

I think your fiddling where you shouldn't fiddle where it's a place that you no longer wanted to fiddle with those fiddle players.

Rudreax · #6 08-23-2009, 02:54 PM

You're not in the band, so you shouldn't make band decisions.

ducknturtle · #7 08-23-2009, 03:03 PM

do not get involved!

GearHeadBassMan · #8 08-23-2009, 06:15 PM

ok, I wont. I used to stick up for drummer's opinions, since we usually shared them.

Anyway, I'll step off unless they bring it up to me.

fishtx · #9 08-23-2009, 07:04 PM

yep...stay out of it...

selfblessed · #10 08-23-2009, 07:33 PM

Yeah he is probably mad that you are leaving. Just don't turn around...don't turn aroooouuuu Ahh just stay!