Ever declined an invite to sit in?

[Busker]

I was invited to sit in for a song or two for this band I saw Saturday night. I know the drummer well and bass player a little, and the bass player asked if I would like to play a song or two with the band. I would have liked to, but the only bass in the house was a five string and I've never even seriously practiced on one. I could see me making a dumb mistake under those circumstances, forgetting about the low B and playing the wrong string or something.

Plus, the band was really good and tight. The bassist is fairly awesome, probably among the best in the Kansas City area.

I guess I was gutless and afraid of looking bad.

[Rapisme]

Sometimes in collaboration efforts people are looking for a different vibe, style, or flavor. Try and look at it as putting your own voicing or interpretation on a song. Just play within yourself. Sometimes less is more.

Now if you weren't familiar with the song, then there's no shame in declining..

[Illbay]

I have been asked to leave after I volunteered myself to sit in.

Does that count?

[Phalex]

I have declined an invitation before. I have also accepted invitations before. I learned the hard way to subscribe to the K.I.S.S. (Keep It simple Stupid) method when playing with a band other than my own.

[danomar]

I've declined many times, but those were because I was occupied with something else, was about to leave, or simply did not feel like it.

I would say that it is always a good thing to jam with others. It helps you grow as a musician to experience different situations. Being unfamiliar with an instrument or type of music are less important than the groove in your head. No one (who matters) will begrudge your technique on an unfamiliar bass.

[202dy]

How is this gutless? Let's look at it:


1. You do not play a five string.
2. You are afraid of embarrassing yourself by making a mistake.

Reason one is valid. The transition from four string to five string is not difficult. Nor does it take a long time to do. After practicing and gaining some confidence it is time to do it. You will make some mistakes the first few times. It's just the way it is. If the low string on every bass you play is tuned to E, picking up a five string on the fly is a good way to shoot yourself in the foot. The first time I played a five string live someone called a tune in E. The drummer counted it off and I pulled the big fat string as hard as I could on the one. All the guys that know me turned around and started laughing. Not one of my finest moments.

Reason two might be valid. Might not. If you are learning to play the instrument, or just a new genre, sitting in (especially with players who are better than you) is a good way to test your knowledge. Sometimes you will learn something, too. If it is a small room or a small crowd it is a great opportunity to advance in what can be a nurturing atmosphere. You might even make some contacts and gain some respect. OTOH, if it is a big room, unfamiliar tunes, or players who just want to make fun of you, then refusing is smart. Only you can answer that question.

[Busker]

Originally Posted by 202dy

How is this gutless? Let's look at it:


1. You do not play a five string.
2. You are afraid of embarrassing yourself by making a mistake.

Reason one is valid. The transition from four string to five string is not difficult. Nor does it take a long time to do. After practicing and gaining some confidence it is time to do it. You will make some mistakes the first few times. It's just the way it is. If the low string on every bass you play is tuned to E, picking up a five string on the fly is a good way to shoot yourself in the foot. The first time I played a five string live someone called a tune in E. The drummer counted it off and I pulled the big fat string as hard as I could on the one. All the guys that know me turned around and started laughing. Not one of my finest moments.

Reason two might be valid. Might not. If you are learning to play the instrument, or just a new genre, sitting in (especially with players who are better than you) is a good way to test your knowledge. Sometimes you will learn something, too. If it is a small room or a small crowd it is a great opportunity to advance in what can be a nurturing atmosphere. You might even make some contacts and gain some respect. OTOH, if it is a big room, unfamiliar tunes, or players who just want to make fun of you, then refusing is smart. Only you can answer that question.

It was a large club, packed house, "Mardi Gras" night. I don't think anyone would have made fun of me, but I just didn't feel good about playing the fiver. If it would have been a four-string, I think I would have done it and had fun.

[neurotictim]

Done it a couple of times - my neighbor also plays the bass, and has on occasion asked me if I wanted to sit in for a song or two with his cover band. I declined, mostly because I don't feel all that good about playing with someone else's band, with someone else's equipment, in a setting where they're getting paid to play. I have sat in with them once or twice at their practices, without a problem.

It's not exactly rational, but if I'm not 100% comfortable with it, I just don't do it.

[202dy]

Originally Posted by Busker

It was a large club, packed house, "Mardi Gras" night. I don't think anyone would have made fun of me, but I just didn't feel good about playing the fiver. If it would have been a four-string, I think I would have done it and had fun.

Club full of drunks on a four string? Yeah, go for it.

But if you're unfamiliar with the five, it might as well be a piccolo. Good call.

[Illbay]

Originally Posted by 202dy

Club full of drunks on a four string? Yeah, go for it.

I guess the lesson here is: ALWAYS have your bass with you, no matter where you go.

(Of course, it would probably be easier if you played piccolo).

[Busker]

Originally Posted by Illbay

I guess the lesson here is: ALWAYS have your bass with you, no matter where you go.

(Of course, it would probably be easier if you played piccolo).

Carrying a bass with you all the time?

Your bass is at risk of being stolen if you leave it in the car, or it looks presumptuous if you carry it into the club before you were even invited to play.

OK, so your bass is ALWAYS at risk of being stolen, in the car, in your home, or wherever.

A couple of weeks ago, a young man was held up for his bass, when he was going to or from a gig I suppose. Either the guy strong-armed it away from him, or held a gun on him or something. A reward was posted for it, and for the perpetrator. This was on the same night I was playing a gig just a couple of blocks away.

Here's the link to the reward post:

http://http://kansascity.craigslist.org/msg/556820058.html

[twistdpair]

I've turned it down for more than one reason...one time I'd been drinking a little much(haha!), another time it was the first time in a really nice room for that band and I didn't want to jeopardize future gigs for them.

I have also been turned down by another player when I offered him to sit in. Why? Because all I had were two fivers and he had never played one. Of course I understood.

-cork

[Illbay]

Originally Posted by Busker

Carrying a bass with you all the time?

I was being facetious.

[MikeBass]

IMO, sometimes it's better to just not "sit in".
It is their gig, let them have the fun.

Now, I've refused before and was talked into sitting in, well, because the bass player (who was a buddy of mine) was like "dude, I gotta pee. You HAVE to sit in!!!".
This was between tunes when he said this to me- and about 10 other people who fell off theirs chairs laughing.

How could I say no!?!!?!

[JKT]

I would have declined also and I normally say yes when asked to sit in but I don't play 5 string either so that would have been a deal breaker for me as well.

I think it is a good idea from a local political standpoint to sit in whenever you're invited. In the blues/RB scene in my town it is considered being polite to invite a well known or accomplished player to sit in.

That being said, it is also considered bad form and rude to invite yourself. Or to wear out your welcome once you're up there.

JKT

[pointbass]

I get asked to sit in quite a bit and I'll usually take them up on the offer. Of course, there have been times when I've declined for a variety of reasons, but usually I'll do it. But I never ask to sit in.

I have a big problem getting guys to play a tune or two with my band, primarily because of the ERB's. I never have any "normal" basses at my gigs .....

[lazyone2]

Originally Posted by 202dy

The first time I played a five string live someone called a tune in E. The drummer counted it off and I pulled the big fat string as hard as I could on the one. All the guys that know me turned around and started laughing. Not one of my finest moments.

.

I had played a Ric 4001 for 20 years. I knew nothing about a 5 string. It was a 10 sec. train wreck. The exact same thing happened , the band stopped, they laughed, straighted me out and I play 2 songs fine, but it wasn't easy. String spacing was different, longer scale so the frets were spaced different. I would say it was a good move to decline under the circumstances.

PAT

[Lesfunk]

Sometimes it shows more class to decline an invitation to sit in than accept one.

General rule of thumb: If somebody asks you to sit in with your group, they're probably the last person you want sitting in with your group.

[buzzbass]

Originally Posted by pointbass

I get asked to sit in quite a bit and I'll usually take them up on the offer. Of course, there have been times when I've declined for a variety of reasons, but usually I'll do it. But I never ask to sit in.

I have a big problem getting guys to play a tune or two with my band, primarily because of the ERB's. I never have any "normal" basses at my gigs .....

The basses are normal, the owner on the other hand.......

[iamlowsound]

I have sat in a few times in practices or "open" jam sessions, but never at a gig like that. I would do it, but only if I knew the song.

lowsound