Excuses

[thepontif]

So here's a scenario for you. And to be clear, I am not asking for advice, but interested in how people handle this.

A bandleader calls you for a gig a month away. You look at your calendar and see that you will be coming home from a family vacation two days before. You really don't want to do the gig. So you simply say, sorry I'm busy and I can't do it. Then the bandleader asks you what you have going on that night. Are you honest and simply say, I just don't feel like playing that night, or do you make up a story?

[Munjibunga]

"I'm going to be in recovery from a family vacation."

[bluewine]

I'm not sure I understand, your home 2 days before the gig and he gave you a months notice.

If I have the story right, This is how I would handle it.

I would quit the band. If I can't do a gig with 30 days notice and i'm in town the band is probably not a match.

blue

[Phil Smith]

I would tell them I'm going to still be out of town which could be a possibility in the scenario that you described.

[Marko5657]

I’d say exactly the truth, or be vague of details I don’t want to share, but I wouldn’t make something up, as lies tend to get found out, and I like my credibility.

[thepontif]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I'm not sure I understand, your home 2 days before the gig and he gave you a months notice.

If I have the story right, This is how I would handle it.

I would quit the band. If I can't do a gig with 30 days notice and i'm in town the band is probably not a match.

blue

Not a gig where you're IN the band. I agree with you in that case. I'm talking about a freelance situation. Say, you're being called to sub for someone, you'll be in town, but you know you won't feel like doing it. Do you just say, no, I don't want that gig, or do you make up an excuse?

[Bert Slide]

Two days after returning from the trip? How much "recoop" time do you need? Sounds like a lame excuse to me and it's not even my band.

Tell the BL you can't do it because you have a prior family commitment. If he presses you for more details then make something up. "I just don't feel like playing that night" doesn't cut it.

[troy mcclure]

I have come home at noon from a cruise and been on stage by 2pm for a benefit gig with no pay. I agree with Blue for the 2nd time ever..lol

[troy mcclure]

freelance is a whole different ballgame, you don't need to provide an excuse, you are a free agent.

[thepontif]

Originally Posted by Bert Slide

Two days after returning from the trip? How much "recoop" time do you need? Sounds like a lame excuse to me and it's not even my band.

Tell the BL you can't do it because you have a prior family commitment. If he presses you for more details then make something up. "I just don't feel like playing that night" doesn't cut it.

Well I didn't say you would need recoup time. I just said you don't want to do it. The vacation is really not relevant to the question. Sorry.

[thepontif]

Originally Posted by troy mcclure

freelance is a whole different ballgame, you don't need to provide an excuse, you are a free agent.

Ah, but often times the question arises. Sometimes just out of small talk. Do you lie or tell the truth?

[Phil Smith]

Part of being a professional is knowing how to turn things down without burning bridges and yes even if it involves bending the truth.

Saying you'll be on a family vacation when in fact you will be is to me perfectly okay because what if you want to or have to spend an extra two days?

[Kmonk]

If it is a fill in situation just tell him that you don't want to do it. If it is with your regular band you should do the gig.

I used to play a lot of ice hockey. I played in a tournament that ended after midnight and then played a gig the next afternoon 200 miles away. You will be home 2 days before the gig. It sounds to me like you just don't want to play and are using the vacation as an excuse.

[Phil Smith]

Originally Posted by Kmonk

If it is a fill in situation just tell him that you don't want to do it. If it is with your regular band you should do the gig.

I used to play a lot of ice hockey. I played in a tournament that ended after midnight and then played a gig the next afternoon 200 miles away. You will be home 2 days before the gig. It sounds to me like you just don't want to play and are using the vacation as an excuse.

He already said he didn't want to do the gig and wasn't using the vacation as an excuse.

[Munjibunga]

"Sorry, I'm not up for it, bro. Maybe you can get Patitucci."

[Kmonk]

Originally Posted by Phil Smith

He already said he didn't want to do the gig and wasn't using the vacation as an excuse.

Read the first line in my post. There is a difference between doing a fill in gig and one with your regular band. The point is that he didn't tell the BL that he just didn't feel like doing the gig.

[fdeck]

Originally Posted by thepontif

Not a gig where you're IN the band. I agree with you in that case. I'm talking about a freelance situation. Say, you're being called to sub for someone, you'll be in town, but you know you won't feel like doing it. Do you just say, no, I don't want that gig, or do you make up an excuse?

I'm a freelance player. I never feel the need to give a reason. I just say something like: "Thanks for the call, but that night is bad for me." The bandleader is more interested in calling the next person on your list, than in analyzing your personal life.

But there are pushy bandleaders out there, who will take your reason as an indication that you're willing to negotiate, which I'm not. Making up an excuse can backfire and make you look like a fool or a liar.

Having control over my own time is one reason why I prefer to be a hired gun.

[Pacman]

I'd give the same answer I'd give if I was working with someone else:

"Sorry, man - I'd love to, but I have another commitment." (In this case, the commitment is to yourself.

[Phil Smith]

Originally Posted by Kmonk

Read the first line in my post. There is a difference between doing a fill in gig and one with your regular band. The point is that he didn't tell the BL that he just didn't feel like doing the gig.

I don't think you would tell a BL that when you can't do a gig, unless you don't want work in the future.

[Pacman]

Originally Posted by Munjibunga

"Sorry, I'm not up for it, bro. Maybe you can get Patitucci."

That's how he'd answer, for sure!