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11-15-2009, 09:23 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: North Shore Ma. | | | Exhiled
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my girlfriend and i just broke up pretty bad. unfortunately she was the sister of my guitarist and cousin of my drummer and singer. so i got kicked out of the band. they were also my only friends. so i lost my girl, my friends, and my band all in four days time. i was wondering were i shoud go next, and how to recover from this. im not going to let this stop me from playing music. but i am quite lost here. |
11-15-2009, 09:28 AM
| | | From what I read:
I don't think you lost friends.( at least not what I would call a friend)
You may just have been given a chance to find a band of more mature individuals, or maybe to start your own
Congrats and good luck!  |
11-15-2009, 09:32 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brookfield, CT | | | Oh geeze, sorry man. Well, if anything, it's a lesson in mixing business with pleasure, if you see what I mean. Band stuff and dating really has to be kept seperate, no relatives, for a variety of reasons. You have unfortunately discovered one of them the hard way.
Hopefully you can somehow patch things up with your friends. Obviously the guitarist is going to be tough.
Or else you'll have to get new friends. Sorry, but it'll work out eventually.
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Originally Posted by Lesfunk  I have trouble staying in shape because I'm a lazy, fat, piece of crap; not because I'm a musician. | |
11-15-2009, 09:34 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Pacific Northwet, USA | | | fess up
what did you do? |
11-15-2009, 09:46 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: North Shore Ma. | | | i think part of it was when we started dating i stopped hanging out with my friends as often as i was. (i wasnt missing practice or anything like that. we were practicing six days a week!) and i think they took that as me loosing interest in the band. |
11-15-2009, 09:46 AM
| | | | Dang man that sucks! once my wife (then my girlfriend) got into a fight with my guitarists girlfriend ... anyways ... i pulled my guitarist (who was also my best friend) aside and told him we can't control our girlfriends ... so lets not let this ruin our band and more importantly our friendship. so a week later i get a call from our singer saying i was out of the band., but knew my guitarist pitched a fit and got me kicked out.
so if your former band mates are too closed minded to realize that couples get together and break-up as a natural progression of life than thats just signs of trouble ahead and you're better off without them! just keep wailing on the bass and everything will be alright! |
11-15-2009, 09:48 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: North Shore Ma. | | | thanx for the support i need it |
11-15-2009, 09:51 AM
|  | Precision Basses, all day, er'day.
Endorsing Artist: Gravity Picks | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ohio/West Virginia | | That sucks man.. My grandpa fell and broke his neck the week I got asked to play bass in my band. He survived, but that took a lot out of me.
The best thing is to realize what you can, cant, want to, and shouldnt fix. If you can get back in, and want to, then do so. I dont recommend it, but if you can, try it. There are always other fish in the sea though man. 
__________________ Fender - Gallien Krueger - Avatar - Gravity Facebook |
11-15-2009, 09:54 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Filthydelphia, USA | | | A. Get a new band.
B. Get a new a girlfriend.
C. Don't let the two worlds collide any more than incidentally -- i.e gigs and the like.
All three of these are attainable if you want them to be. |
11-15-2009, 09:57 AM
|  | Hammer On! | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Piney Woods | | | That is rough! You've got CD's, a computer, and can practice music on your own. Emotion-reactions are high at the moment & you can't predict the future to see if things could get diffused, or restored! Cnltb makes a good point about 'who' are your friends?
When friends or family turn their back on one person in a divorcing couple, it doesn't make sense if communication caused a split, and nobody commited a 'cardinal' sin. Not sure what events led to your split, or what was said in your situation.
Regardless of said, or who did what, and when - keep setting goals, talk with other people about music (don't harp on this stuff too much) and move on. As rough as this may all seem today, collect yourself, and start moving on!
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Bass Player Couples #9
“To play without passion is inexcusable!” ― Ludwig van Beethoven
Last edited by Staccato : 11-15-2009 at 10:06 AM.
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11-15-2009, 09:59 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Westminster, BC | | | Were they really your friends though? They just abandoned you as soon as you stopped dating their sister/cousin, and they kicked you, a competent bass player, out of their band...
I can understand the brother is mad and defensive, but if he's so serious about the band that he rehearses SIX times a week(?!) he should show some mercy on a bandmate.
My definition of a friend is someone who doesn't care about who you're dating.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Bassincus You COULD play metal with a violin bass, just like you COULD do surgery with a pocket knife. However, neither would be anybody's first choice. | Nihilist Bass Players Club - # Irrelevant
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11-15-2009, 01:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Virginia Washington DC | | | Write a song about it.
Then another, and then try a third.
Bands/women come and go. Friends will return.
Good luck
__________________
What's the best mace for battle?
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11-15-2009, 02:08 PM
| | Bangin' out the bottom end for 44 years! | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Connecticut | | | You lost a girl friend. As the old song goes, "there's more pretty girls than one". Find another band. DON'T date anyone related to any of the band members. Life goes on.
__________________
- Denny
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11-15-2009, 11:07 PM
|  | Total Hyper-Elite Member | | Join Date: May 2000 Location: Groom Lake, NV | | | That's nepotism for you.
__________________
Remove all zig for great justice. |
11-15-2009, 11:09 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Fort Collins, Colorado | | | You didn't lose any friends, because their actions prove they were NOT your friends.
Get out, meet new people, advertise in band-listing sites, and go on with life. It will hurt for a while, but the busier you get, the less it will hurt.
__________________
"Ya know what old Jack Burton sez at a time like this? Old Jack sez....'what the hell.'"
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11-15-2009, 11:12 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: COLORADO | | | Now you know where they got that phrase:
"Don't put all of your eggs in one basket" |
11-15-2009, 11:40 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Metro Detroit | | | I say cut all their heads off and put them on sharp sticks in their front yard! Yeah! That's what I say! Then, your next band will think twice before firing you. Yep! That'll do! The dirty baggers!
I know you're bummed. You'll find others to jam with and a new girl, too, eventually. It's not a really big deal. Just keep practicing and move on.
The situation seems really odd, though. What did you do to piss the girl off? |
11-16-2009, 01:10 AM
|  | Unreasonable User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: San Diego, CA | | | If I were you I'd change your name to RonnieJamesDeBo and start a new heavier project with dungeons and dragons-esque themes.
You've already got good angst going for motivation. |
11-16-2009, 01:12 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Tampa, Florida, US | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Unrepresented If I were you I'd change your name to RonnieJamesDeBo and start a new heavier project with dungeons and dragons-esque themes.
You've already got good angst going for motivation. | Winning strategy.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by hover What man hasn't declared jihad on his tallywhakker every now and then? | Quote:
Originally Posted by Bloodhammer I'm so metal, my farts are pinch harmonics. | |
11-16-2009, 01:13 AM
| | Unreasonable User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: San Diego, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sloasdaylight Winning strategy. | I try and give back, the kids need my wisdom. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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