feeling extremely discouraged...

jsingles · #1 02-11-2008, 10:19 PM

I am feeling really discouraged... and I hope you guys have some advice for me....

My entire life, I have loved music, and it has always been my dream to play music in a band, and have fun... I played piano when I was young.. quit... played guitar for a bit.. quit... now I have been playing bass for awhile and I consider myself pretty decent... but for years it has just been CONSTANT failure after failure after failure to start a band...

nothing ever works out... people arent devoted...

Past couple weeks I have been setting up a band (finally) with a good drummer and a great guitar player... but today it all imploded and I am let down once again... and I feel like its the final straw...

I am not enjoying myself... I have tried so hard to make things work out.. but they just arent.. I know you have to stick with it until it works, but I am a freshman in college.. and I am busy and I have to figure out what I am going to do with my life..

I am feeling like music can't be the part of my life that I wanted it to be...

Music has been my only reason for living but I dont feel the same anymore... I cant enjoy myself anymore.. its all just about stupid band politics and people wanting success and fame..

I don't know what to do with myself but I can't go on like this anymore constantly being let down and not even being able to just PLAY music...

I hope somebody read this rant.. and that it made sense.. thank you very much to anyone who read this..

matt_bollinger · #2 02-11-2008, 10:34 PM

Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to take a break. College is a great time to learn about yourself. Join some clubs or study groups.

Bottom line: if you are not having fun, try something else; you are in the perfect place for it.

jsingles · #3 02-11-2008, 10:35 PM

thank you, I think I do need a break... I am just not where I feel I should be.

the only problem is I planned on being a music major.. but i dont know anymore..

bassaficionado6 · #4 02-11-2008, 10:39 PM

I have this same worry about going to college. I hope it all works out.

Oreomeister365 · #5 02-11-2008, 10:41 PM

first year in college here too, and I've had tons of failed groups. However, now, things are just about to get perfect so it seems. I'll probably blow up in a month, but right now everything is damn good. Maybe it's just luck, I advise you keep it in the back of your mind, don't commit to anything till you realize the band will commit to it as well. everyone here loves music and the only thing maybe holding them back is the need to study.

Valerus · #6 02-11-2008, 10:42 PM

Dude!! I'm in the same boat! I'm your age and am feelin the same way.
Well, without the failures of bands. Let's just replace "failure" with "lack of" bands.

If you are PERSISTENT, then eventually you'll find a great group of people.

Have faith in yourself and in humanity. It'll turn out well.

But if you're thinking about a break, TAKE A BREAK!
You have 3 1/2 years until you gotta make that career decision.

lunarpollen · #7 02-11-2008, 10:46 PM

Jeez, you're still young!!! Just be patient and don't become terminally discouraged... And don't take things too seriously... Eventually you'll find at least one other person with the right musical/personality chemistry...

jsingles · #8 02-11-2008, 10:46 PM

wow, im really glad all you guys can relate...

I really do need to take a break right now.. but who knows what will happen in these college years.... I just really got my hopes up this time.. the drummer was talking SO MUCH about how devoted he wants us to be, then he up and leaves before we have time to practice more than ONE time... I am too stressed out about music right now.

I just want to enjoy music and I can't right now with playing

meev992 · #9 02-11-2008, 10:52 PM

You have to be persistent. That's the bottom line. It's not easy to play in groups and it's not easy finding the one that feels just right for you.

matt_bollinger · #10 02-11-2008, 10:59 PM

I changed my major six times. Focus on your core classes for now and you'll be fine.

Incidentally, I played bass starting in 8th grade and continued through my freshman year in college. I took a break for more than five years, then took it back up.

And I really do wish I had spent more time in study groups. It wasn't until my senior year that I enjoyed my classes very much, and some of my most enjoyable academic time was in a study group I joined then.

It sounds like you're in a rough place right now, but I think it helps you greatly that you recognize that. Maybe it would help if you talked with you advisor or someone else whose opinion you respect.

Busker · #11 02-11-2008, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jsingles

... but for years it has just been CONSTANT failure after failure after failure to start a band...

Past couple weeks I have been setting up a band...

Why not take a break, then try to join an existing band. Probably would be a whole lot less stress than trying to form a band. There should be more than a few bands in your area that need a bassist.

johncg · #12 02-11-2008, 11:16 PM

Keep going, man.

I feel the passion you have in your words.

We all face truly dreadful rough patches.

These tough times are your greatest ally. They will teach you new and better ways to survive as a musician, and ultimately yield great rewards...

You just have to keep hangin'.

jweiss · #13 02-12-2008, 12:59 AM

If you want to play music with others, sign up for a jazz improv class in your music department.

Hawaii Islander · #14 02-12-2008, 01:12 AM

From what I read in your post, starting and maintaining a working band is the main problem. You might try to hook up with some musicians at college to jam with "for fun" to help put the fun in playing again.

I've been hanging around college and university campuses for the past 20+ years, and there were usually at least a few people around that like to get together for imformal jam sessions. It might be something for you to try.

Good luck!

membluz · #15 02-12-2008, 01:32 AM

Hey Jsingles

You have plenty of time for many things. Enjoy your college years, take in a Bruins or Celtics game, hang with your buddies at the bars that play your kind of music.

Find a nice college girl who also plays a musical instrument and enjoy life. Things just fall into place when you least expect them to.

I'm an old bass playing fart who's had many musical dissapointments in 45 years but always seemed to find players to jam or gig with when I wasn't really looking.

Mike Shevlin · #16 02-12-2008, 02:00 AM

I got in the same band funk when I went off to college. I ended up taking a double bass course in the music dept. & it was a huge help to both my playing and my state of mind. Take this opportunity to work on your own chops instead of worrying about a whole band- you will get better & then people will be knocking on YOUR door.

Implosion · #17 02-12-2008, 03:03 AM

This is a bit of an off-topic, but how does college/university system work in USA? Do you start your studies in a specific field or do all study the same things for few years and then decide what to major in?

Where we live, you apply for a specific schooling program (entrance examination is required in most cases) and choose your major form that area. For instance, I got accepted to study Mechanical Engineering in the technical faculty. Our choices for majoring are: machine design, materials engineering, mechatronics, engineering mechanics and production technology. Might seem limited, but this gives you clear view about your future and what you will probably be doing for your living. But I guess this is common for most engineering students. If you graduate with a major from some are of humanities, then your future may not be so clear.

Materials engineering was my choice if anyone is curious. I hope to have my master's degree by the end of this year.

Sorry for the thread hi-jack.

edit: I forgot to mention that we don't choose our major right away. For the first two years everyone in the program studies the same basics of mechanical engineering which is a mixture of basic courses from all of the mentioned majoring options with the addition of mathematics, physics, economics etc. At the end of the second year you choose a major for yourself.

invader3k · #18 02-12-2008, 06:45 AM

You're still young (what, 18 or so?). You have a leg up on me...I didn't even start playing bass 'til I was almost 19, and took a couple years to get a solid band going. Fact is, most groups started with guys your age aren't going to last that long...people get distracted by girls, classes, homework, working their pizza delivery jobs, etc. I would focus on just jamming with as many different people as possible in your spare time. Don't worry about getting a band going, just get your name out there. That way eventually when a good project does come up, you might have a shot at being involved.

QORC · #19 02-12-2008, 07:00 AM

a freshman in college? 18 years old? And you're already discouraged??

dude, you have, if you choose, decades of music in front of you. DECADES.

You need to develop a thick skin and understand that musicians are mostly flakes and keeping bands together is HARD.

Play because you love it, but play for yourself, not for others. A gig is a gig, if it lasts a day or 10 years.

keep your chin up

barbarbass · #20 02-12-2008, 07:00 AM

Jsingles, don't give up. I'm in my thirties now, and I've been in bands on and off now for the past fifteen years or so. Believe me, it's a matter of meeting (and sometimes re-meeting) the right people.

There was a stretch after post-graduate school where I didn't play in a band -- years, and years (four or five, but it felt longer). What did I do? I just sat at home with my practice amp and learned bass lines I thought were cool (thus building my repertoire for cover projects).

Also, get back into piano -- you can play all by yourself, and I swear to you, as strange as this sounds, it will improve and aid your bass playing in all sorts of ways. You're not a real musician until and unless you read music at some basic level of competence.

There is a shortage of bassists out there. People need us. When you least expect it, you'll get three desperate phone calls from people you thought were dead of overdoses or moved to another state, begging you to learn a set of songs by Saturday.