FINALLY!!! I get to rock!!!

[txbasschik]

We've had this very nice, very good guitarist who moved from Nashville at our jam for about a month now. Very nice personality, and can move easily from rhythm to lead and back again, without ego. Loves power trios and the Stones and hard rock. Also sings, and has a good voice.

He's frustrated because he's been unable to play some of the songs he would like to at the jam. He's got songs he can sing and play, and wants to do them, but always gets pushed aside in order to play things others want to do.

I feel his pain. I go through the same thing.

The jam's gotten so popular that you really have to have a loose set put together, and people chosen to play with, in order to get a song in edgewise. Whole bands show up.

HE CHOSE ME!!!

The house bassist is more experienced than I am, and knows many more songs. But, when he doesn't know a song, he takes longer to pick it up than I do.

I asked the guitarist, "Are you sure you don't want C.B.? He knows a lot of songs."

"Nope. I want you. You pick up so fast on things, and you have a great voice. I love your style, your approach to playing, your look, your attitude...I like absolutely everything about you, and I want to work with you. You clearly don't know it, but you're an awesome bassist...the best at this jam, week after week, and you don't get enough playing time. I want to change that for both of us."

He's got a wicked-heavy work schedule, and a wife at home, so he can't work with our regular band (our drummer wants to hire him). At least not as a permanent member. What we'll do is e-mail each other a list of songs we're working on, work on them individually, and then meet at his house (he's got a studio) and work on them together with whichever drummer has time to come practice a while. (He invited my husband, but he says he won't have time. Whatever. We know plenty more drummers.)

So...a fun project with good musicians playing music I LOVE!!!

Hubby's not thrilled, but I don't care. He doesn't limit himself in *his* activities...at all...so why should I? I am not going to cut myself out of something this good because of that. I'm done restricting myself to make him comfortable, when he won't do the same for me.

So...onward and upward, not letting the bastages get me down!!!

Excited...

Cherie

[Phalex]

Rock on Cherie!! \m/

[CincyBassMan]

Cherie, what GREAT news! You truly deserve this!

I saw your post on Dray's Tour from Hell...I am sending positive thoughts your way...I'm hoping things keep gettin better...

Russ

[lpdeluxe]

Originally Posted by txbasschik

HE CHOSE ME!!! I asked the guitarist, "Are you sure you don't want C.B.? He knows a lot of songs."

"Nope. I want you. You pick up so fast on things, and you have a great voice. I love your style, your approach to playing, your look, your attitude...I like absolutely everything about you, and I want to work with you. You clearly don't know it, but you're an awesome bassist...the best at this jam, week after week, and you don't get enough playing time. I want to change that for both of us."

Excited...

Cherie

Too cool! Life too short to spend it backing up folkies (not you -- ME!). Now I just need to find a venue where I can flog my new fretless P.

Well done, amiga.
J

[txbasschik]

Originally Posted by CincyBassMan

Cherie, what GREAT news! You truly deserve this!

I saw your post on Dray's Tour from Hell...I am sending positive thoughts your way...I'm hoping things keep gettin better...

Russ

THanks hon. Its hard to keep a good attitude. The music helps...everything goes away when I'm playing.

So...this is a GREAT opportunity for education, fun, and escapism!

Cherie

[txbasschik]

Originally Posted by lpdeluxe

Too cool! Life too short to spend it backing up folkies (not you -- ME!). Now I just need to find a venue where I can flog my new fretless P.

Well done, amiga.
J

It certainly is!!! Oh honey, they've just GOTTA be rockin' somewhere in East Texas that you can get to! You need a place to slap that P-bass plank!!!

Ooooooohhhhhh, I can't WAIT to start this project! I'm putting my list together for him right now.

Cherie

[txbasschik]

Originally Posted by Phalex

Rock on Cherie!! \m/

Thanks hon!!! Gonna rockrockrock 'til the broad day-light!!!!

Cherie \m/ \m/

[Infernal Affair]

Originally Posted by txbasschik

Hubby's not thrilled, but I don't care. He doesn't limit himself in *his* activities...at all...so why should I? I am not going to cut myself out of something this good because of that. I'm done restricting myself to make him comfortable, when he won't do the same for me.

Maybe it's just me, but might your husband just be getting a little jealous? I don't know all the details, but from reading your story it seems that the guitarist is hitting on you a little. He definitely recognizes your talent, but from the stuff you posted it seems he may recognize something in addition to that. If I'm wrong to infer that just let me know.

However, it's great that you got that lined up for you and congrats!

[txbasschik]

Originally Posted by Infernal Affair

Maybe it's just me, but might your husband just be getting a little jealous? I don't know all the details, but from reading your story it seems that the guitarist is hitting on you a little. He definitely recognizes your talent, but from the stuff you posted it seems he may recognize something in addition to that. If I'm wrong to infer that just let me know.

However, it's great that you got that lined up for you and congrats!

Well, he's taking women out for drinks and going on jet ski rides with them...without telling me. So...who cares? I'm done trying to please him.

The guy's not hitting on me. He assured me that his wife would be present/in the house during all practices, without me having to ask. He shared his plans with her before he ever approached me, and she approves. They're older than I am, have been married for a long time, successfully. So...no worries there.

My husband gets jealous whenever anyone wants me to play a side project, or pays more than passing attention to me. When we play a road gig, I'm required to come home that night...but not him, unless he wants to. Big-time double-standard here.

He *could* have been included in this project, but chose to pass on it. I don't see any reason why I should pass on such a plum, just because he feels insecure. I've spent far too many years accommodating his jealousies and insecurities, passing up on many projects because he didn't like me playing with musicians he doesn't know.

I have NEVER asked him to do that, even if I did feel insecure about a beautiful female singer or guitarist or bassist he would be working with. Since he's running around with other women, and taking any music jobs he wants to, I no longer feel obligated to make allowances for his feelings. I've been a good girl...I've minded him...I've limited myself musically and socially for years now, trying to make him happy. Well...someone else is making him happy, so I don't guess I need to worry about it anymore, eh?

No offsense taken, but...he missed his chance to have me care what he wants anymore. This is such a great project, and is what I've been wanting to do for a very long time. I'm going for it.

Cherie

[matrok]

Congrats Cherie, this has been a long time coming.

I'm glad to see you're holding a positive attitude in the face of the other issues, just remember as it goes on that you have a lot of friends here for support.

[Infernal Affair]

Originally Posted by txbasschik

No offsense taken, but...he missed his chance to have me care what he wants anymore. This is such a great project, and is what I've been wanting to do for a very long time. I'm going for it.

Cherie

Right on! You said it. No one should be preventing anybody from doing what they want to do. Sorry for making assumptions.

[lpdeluxe]

I'm no marriage counselor, but damned if I'd ever get between a lady and her bass.

The playing's going to happen. After more years than I care to count of seeking them out I know how precious a great musical situation is. Sometimes the rest of your life has to make a detour around the carnival.

I m thinking of your posts last year, when you hated your job, and wanted to get full time into music, and I think: this is supposed to happen.

Good luck and keep on rockin'.

[nsmar4211]

I'm not seein good things with hubby here . You realize how close you have to be to someone to be on a jet ski with em?!
You need to do what makes you happy and not do everything to please someone else... definetly don't limit yourself musically!!!! If it's a reasonable request (honey, can you call me on your way home?)... sure. If it's "no way are you going out of town for two days!"....urm Trust me on this, you will regret the things you gave up doing way more than things you ever did-espically if you gave them up for someone else. Been there done that and now I won't do that again. Wait.....hubby is a drummer? Drummers are nuts. Egotistical and jealous and controlling usually. I am also a drummer so I can say this-been around a lot of em and get to look at one in the mirror every day LOL. Course I'm not any of those three things .
So go for it-go play what you want to play . World needs more happy female bass players

[lpdeluxe]

Originally Posted by nsmar4211

World needs more happy female bass players

+1
More of 'em and happier!

[ryco]

You GO grrl!!

...and listen to this guy!

Originally Posted by nsmar4211

Trust me on this, you will regret the things you gave up doing way more than things you ever did-espically if you gave them up for someone else.
World needs more happy female bass players

I don't use smilies, but in celebration of you!

[scottmabe]

World needs more happy female bass players

AMEN to that......

Its great when folks recognize talent !!!!

Congrats Cheri.....

[Darkstrike]

Delighted to hear your gonna have some fun!

[mothmonsterman]

Good new about the gig, grats.


the only thing my wife hasn't taken control of me is my music, which is the only thing i really care about.

life is to short to play by someone else's guidelines.

[derrico1]

For all the times you've been a team player with bandmates that haven't appreciated you they way they should have, you've built up some real karma.

I'm just joining the crowd that's happy to see Good Things coming your way.

[Bass Viking]

Originally Posted by txbasschik

The house bassist is more experienced than I am, and knows many more songs. But, when he doesn't know a song, he takes longer to pick it up than I do.

I asked the guitarist, "Are you sure you don't want C.B.? He knows a lot of songs."

"Nope. I want you. You pick up so fast on things, and you have a great voice.

Being a fast learner is a BIG asset. You can always learn more tunes but being a fast learner is something that can't be learned.