First gig with new band "OH NO!!"

QORC · #1 02-12-2007, 12:27 PM

*sigh*

My luck?

I met up with this band a month ago. They seemed really nice, good musicians (for the most part), and really REALLY seemed to be thrilled with my skills - constantly talking about how much better the music sounded since I joined, and amazed that I acquired 40 songs in 3 weeks.

Then we had our first gig saturday night. The drummer got a little drunk (I think), and snapped both at me and the guitarist on stage. Real maniacal look on his face. Then he had a big lecture for me about what it takes to "be a player" after the gig and that I was one, but that I am taking the music too seriously, and that he doesn't want to be a "human jukebox". Up until now, we had worked very hard in practice to do the songs "right" (we're a cover band)....Etc etc....I was dumbfounded. The guy is a very large, biker-type looking guy and loud. He had been so nice and accomodating up until this point.

It left me shaken. I got out of a situation where my input was not appreciated and now I feel like I'm in another situation where I am there to mostly "shut up, plug in and play". Yikes.

You just don't find out about people until they drink, eh?

Not really asking a question. Just venting. I actually posted a new Harmony central ad today. I'm not doing anything yet, but my gut is now telling me "this ain't it!" and I'm keeping an eye on the situation while quietly looking around. I'm sure others have done the same thing.

After my last 2 experiences, I have become much less tolerant of negative bandmembers, bad situations, not being appreciated. I am no longer assuming people in bands are my friends, have honesty and integrity, or even "have my back." No way. I insist on being part of the planning process and having a full say in things. I'll help any way I can, but I have to be asked for it.

anyway, thank you for hearing me vent

back to work

Phalex · #2 02-12-2007, 12:40 PM

I had a guitar player that was sort of like that.

Instant a$$h073, just add alcohol. He was a heck of a player, but if he drank even one beer he got weird. Once he finished his second, look out! The strange part is that he's a really great guy, as long as he's sober. He didn't drink at gigs as a general rule, but if he was having a bad night he would have a few, and you never knew what he was going to do after that.

You can either live with it and hope for the best (In my case that's what I did and things didn't get any better, they got worse.) or you can pull the rip cord and look for something else.

If I had to do it over again, I would quit.

QORC · #3 02-12-2007, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phalex

I had a guitar player that was sort of like that.

Instant a$$h073, just add alcohol. He was a heck of a player, but if he drank even one beer he got weird. Once he finished his second, look out! The strange part is that he's a really great guy, as long as he's sober. He didn't drink at gigs as a general rule, but if he was having a bad night he would have a few, and you never knew what he was going to do after that.

You can either live with it and hope for the best (In my case that's what I did and things didn't get any better, they got worse.) or you can pull the rip cord and look for something else.

If I had to do it over again, I would quit.

I went from being satisfied to being on the fence in one evening.

Eilif · #4 02-12-2007, 01:56 PM

If you can talk out the issues with him it could be all right. Maybe he just had a bad night, but if it doesn't get better immidiately, I would jump ship. There are plenty of good people out there. Too many in fact to waste time dealing with that kind of crap.

Lazylion · #5 02-12-2007, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QORC

...our first gig saturday night. The drummer got a little drunk (I think), and snapped both at me and the guitarist on stage. Real maniacal look on his face. Then he had a big lecture for me about what it takes to "be a player" after the gig and that I was one, but that I am taking the music too seriously, and that he doesn't want to be a "human jukebox". Up until now, we had worked very hard in practice to do the songs "right" (we're a cover band)....Etc etc....I was dumbfounded.

Snapping at other band members onstage is totally unprofessional. That would be reason enough to bail IMO.
Question: did he deliver the lecture in a way that made you feel disrespected? Seems like he did, if I'm interpreting you correctly. I'm a patient guy, but one thing that will cause me to quit in a heartbeat is disrespect.
I suggest you catch him in a calm, non-drinking moment, and tell him that if he lectures you again, or snaps at you onstage again, you're gone, to find a more professional situation. That is, if you want to give it another chance.

QORC · #6 02-12-2007, 02:11 PM

Like I said, I'm on the fence. I'm going to watch the situation very closely and quietly see if other opportunities exists. If any other "incidents" occur, I will quit on the spot. You're of course 100% right about respect.

IanStephenson · #7 02-13-2007, 04:55 AM

How does the rest of the band feel? If you're comfortable around them, then maybe the whole band could pull together, rather than the "new guy" vs the (scarey) drummer.

Ian

Joe Nerve · #8 02-13-2007, 05:17 AM

I'd bow out if it were me. There are too many other bands out there, and it's too easy to get stuck in one that's just going to bring you down. My experience has shown me that if I believe it to be true, closing the door on one thing really does kick the door open to something better. Long after the nerve was fun any longer, I held on because we started doing cover gigs and I needed the extra money. When I finally let it go I found myself in a band making 2X as much money, with about an 8th of the stress. Same as with another cover band I was in about 10 years ago. They were abusive negative guys, but I needed the money so I held on. As soon as I let go I landed a weekly gig that paid more where I got to sit in a nice french restaurant, play acoustically, get treated wonderfully, and get a great free dinner every week. Wasn't even looking for the gig, it got offered to me and I was pushed into doing it cuz I wasn't all that stoked about it at the onset.

I think the quicker you let it go the better off you'll be. More room for better stuff.

morf · #9 02-13-2007, 05:26 AM

I say dont worry about it too much. So he was drunk, you outplayed him, he got a bit angry n let it get to him cause he was drunk. Talk to him when he's sober about it, see how he responds, and make your decisions upon that.

I think its a bit harsh to decide to leave the band after you've had one bad experience because the drummer was drunk. And remember, he may be big and a biker, but he holds drum sticks n you have a 8 pounds bass in your hands, so if he comes at you u definitely have the upper hand in my book