Friend is leaving the band

[Madness]

My friend and guitarist got accepted to grad school. He'll be leaving the area in december...This is a pretty big bummer for me. We had become pretty close over the last year and a half, and his leaving means more to me personally than it upsets me about the band.

That said, I'm thinking this might be pretty close to the end of the band, the other guys don't seem so pessimistic; we've bandied about the idea of the drummer picking up the guitar again, or maybe myself and getting a new member of the rhythm section.

There's noway that we can replace what he brought. He wasn't a great lead guitarist, but he was talented and new what he could do and made it fit.

Do you guys have any advice on how to handle this?

Thanks in advance.

[JimmyM]

Yes, I have some advice...as Don Corleone said to Frankie Fontaine in the Godfather...

"YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

Sorry...j/k...but really, that's the best advice I can give you. Just move on as good as you can and realize that things change.

[PBass101]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

Yes, I have some advice...as Don Corleone said to Frankie Fontaine in the Godfather...

"YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

+1 Find a new guitar player.

[MalcolmAmos]

My neck of the woods are full of lead guitars just waiting on the phone call. You may have to go through a few to find the right fit, but, your band can have another lead guitar in a few weeks.

Now I know your friend is leaving, it's not the end of the World. Keep in contact and this friendship can endure way beyond grad school. Keeping in contact is the key.

[Stumbo]

Originally Posted by Madness

.....his leaving means more to me personally than it upsets me about the band.

I think you need to separate the band from your friendship.

Both can go on at the same time.

I have friends that live hundreds of miles from me. We email, txt, and talk on the phone a couple of times a month.

Friendship can transcend distance. If your friendship cannot, maybe it's because it's only the band that brought you together and possibly you're not as good as friends as you think you are.

As time goes on, many people will come and go into your life, I suggest you enjoy the time together for however long it is. Friendship is what you make it. If you put in the effort, people who respond are your true friends. People who are friendly but don't put much into the friendship are just people you know. You shouldn't be working harder than they are to maintain a relationship.

Only time will tell how your friendship turns out.

As far as the band is concerned, if you want it to continue, it will, if not, if won't.

IME, it's not a good time to make decisions were you're tired/fatigued and/or feeling sad or depressed.

I suggest you wait awhile (few weeks), get some good sleep and rest up a bit. See how you feel then and go from there. Maybe you'll gain some perspective on your situation and things will look a bit different so you can the best decision for you and your band.

Good luck.

[Herrlster]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

Yes, I have some advice...as Don Corleone said to Frankie Fontaine in the Godfather...

"YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

HA! I loved that.

[Madness]

Thanks for thresponses so far. But I guess I should have said this differently.

I was looking for advice on replacing a member of your band that you are/were friends with.

I know this guy pretty well, we'll be friends for a long time, I am sad he's going away, but he'll be my friend.

[JustDavid]

Originally Posted by Madness

I was looking for advice on replacing a member of your band that you are/were friends with.

If Stumbo's reply didn't nail it, I have no idea what you are asking.

I think you have 2 topics combined into one: 1/ friend, 2/ bandmember. Life & music will flow easier if you separate them into 2 topics.

I can't tell enough about your situation to know if the drummer or you should jump onto guitar, but I know that around here I'd rather try & find 10 guitartists than try & find either a drummer or a bassist.

[Rudreax]

Just find a new guitarist and move on. Look for someone you click with and work with it.