getting my band to actually jam

hartke20g · #1 05-16-2006, 08:35 PM

ok so it's been about 3 months since i actually jammed with anyone which is really getting on my nerves since i don't really have an active social life at all. it seems that every week i'm begging my guitarist to set something up at his house (it's the only house big enough) and the day after i ask him he ALWAYS says something's come up with his family (at least it's not something stupid like going to mall). and if my guitarist can set something up, then our drummer can't make it because of his stupid school club that goes to the beach for meditation/reflection type stuff. i seem to be the only one who can actually make it. now i've tried everything i can think of from threatening to quit the band, offering rides (which would be out of MY way in terms of gas), offering to host it at my house, and letting the other 2 members do whatever they want instead of an organized practice. i've run out of ideas. not even the fact that i'm in another band that actually has the chance of being more popular than the other one makes them want to get together. i'm sure the easiest solution would be to quit the band, but as of now this is the only band i have that can actually play somewhere if we wanted to (and the guitarists a skilled player and a good friend). i guess this is mostly a rant, but has anyone gone through this, or does anyone have any ideas of what to do about it if anything can be done? i'm really on my last nerve with these guys

Mr.Krinkle · #2 05-16-2006, 09:23 PM

I know exactly what you mean, dont really have a band but seems everyone I jam with has romances going on. Some people just need to get theyre priorities straight.

tZer · #3 05-16-2006, 11:01 PM

You are right in being frustrated by your situation. The only person in this situation that you can control is yourself. You have clearly done as much as you can to influence and encourage your friends to join you and they have chosen other activities. Rather then trying to figure out a way to control them, take action on the one factor that you do have control over... you. Go find another situation. One that jives with your goals. As much as you want the other situation to go your way, it apparently has forces stronger then your desire pulling the other players away and there is not a lot you can do about that. Putting more of your valuable energy into trying to influence other people is a waste of energy, so relax, check out some other situations and move on.

DumbChild · #4 05-16-2006, 11:28 PM

So you threatened to quit and they were just ok and continued to not rock up? Well what i would do is look for another band whilst still attempting to convince these guys to jam and once u get another offer just quit. They obviously dont think to highly of u if they are just gonna sit back and not worry about the band. A band is a commitment.

seventai · #5 05-17-2006, 12:26 AM

well man if you guys are only getting together to play every 3 months or so, why don't you just join another band? i mean it isn't like it is going to cut into your schedule with this band or anything. go find some kids that actually want to play and are more in tune with the goals you have and tell those other guys to give ya call if they ever wanna rock out sometime.

being in a band is as much of a commitment as you guys make it. it seems like they don't want it to be or at least their schedules don't allow it to be. not a lot you can say to them that will really change that. just keep those guys as a fun little side project when you guys can find time to hang out and play and find a fulltime band that you enjoy playing with.

chaosMK · #6 05-17-2006, 09:18 AM

Roll a few blunts.