How do you view your band members? - Page 4

KCLRbass · #61 01-16-2013, 07:01 AM

There are 7 other guys in my band. My relationships with them range from couldn't be closer to small talk before the gig and everywhere in between.

vishuddha · #62 01-17-2013, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCLRbass

There are 7 other guys in my band. My relationships with them range from couldn't be closer to small talk before the gig and everywhere in between.

7 other guys... man. I can only imagine the potential for drama. Haha. Good to see that none of them seem to rub you the wrong way.

Disaster Area · #63 01-17-2013, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluewine

Yeah, it can be a kick in the pants. Like when I found out I was older than our band leaders parents.

Oh well.

Blue

Attachment 310956

Your facial expression is priceless in that picture, particularly with the text above it. Hahaha.

bound'n'blocked · #64 01-18-2013, 06:15 PM

I'm playing with three different groups right now. In one I am very close with the other members. The singer and I have been friends for over 40 years and are literally as close as brothers. I'm very close with the guitar player and drummer too, but not like with the singer, although we will on occasion go grab a bite to eat or just hang out.

The second group is the worship team at church. Most of these folks I've known for a long time and we are great friends, but not "hang out together" type of friends. But I would say we are close.

The third band I just go and play with. The guitar player from band one is in this one too, but he's the only one Im really a close friend with. The rest are just the guys in the band. Honestly, I dont think I even know the drummer's last name. This just feels like a long term fill in gig. I've had other bands like that in the past. Other bands I've remained good friends with even though we dont play together anymore.

BnB

tomnomnom91 · #65 01-18-2013, 07:58 PM

From personal experience I wouldn't want to be in another band with good friends. I was in a band for 6 or 7 years with 3 of my best friends (I'd known one of them all my life, and taught one of the others to play guitar). Musical differences eventually came between us, and they kicked me out without even bothering to tell me. I had to find out through their band page on Facebook... This was 3 years ago, and I haven't spoken to any of them since.

My current band is a bit different. I live with the drummer, with whom I'm good friends, but it's being in the band together that made us become friends, so it's a bit different. The lead guitarist and singer also live together, and I'm pretty good friends with them. Then there's the rhythm guitarist, and none of us see him away from the band. It's a good dynamic though, and when we get together as a band there's a good atmosphere, everyone respects each other, and we're very productive. I'm the only one who's at every session in the studio, mainly because I'm the most competent of us at production. I think it does us a lot of good to not spend too much time together socially, it keeps everything fresh and creative when we do get together.

Unrepresented · #66 01-21-2013, 01:27 PM

I am closer to bandmates than I am coworkers. Some have been friends, some haven't. You pick your friends, you don't always pick your megalomaniac control freak bandmates.

4001 · #67 01-21-2013, 01:32 PM

I dont feel that my band is a "band" like we all hang out and keep in touch. In reality it's just the opposite. There is no communication until another gig is booked. It's been 5 months since our last gig. I still havent gotten paid for that. This band is strictly business and if the other guys have a better gig then this band takes a back seat.

LAME

EricF · #68 01-22-2013, 09:46 AM

My rhythm guitar player has become one of my closest friends, and his wife has also become good friends with my wife. The four of us hang out together frequently.

The other members of the band I would consider friends, but not particularly close ones. Close enough to get invited to parties, but not close enough to go hang with individually.

BayStateBass · #69 01-22-2013, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vishuddha

Reading some of Blue's posts, it got me thinking... I've never even entertained the idea of not being/becoming close friends with my bandmates, but it seems that some people consider their fellow band members to simply be work associates.

I'm the kind of guy that joins a band BECAUSE of the band relationships you can build. The idea of being a close group touring, playing music, and experiencing life together has always been one of the driving factors in taking my music out of the bedroom.

How do you guys see your band members? Do you form a tight-knit brotherhood (or sisterhood) with your band, or are you simply show-up-and-play coworkers?

This is a good question. I think a lot about this and am currently going down this road of "change".

Honestly, where I'm at, and I've come to this recently, is that I once did this for the friendship and personal bonds. It was okay, for a while, but my personality didn't mesh with this being the driving force. You see, I'm the type of guy who will work hard at the music and over time it has become frustrating putting in a ton of effort while others took a more laid-back approach. So I've gotten to the point where the friendship and bonds are not as important. They still mean something but honestly having a stronger working relationship means a whole lot more to me than it used to.

Becoming friends has also created another problem, which is why I posted up my thread about if we should replace our drummer (in this forum). When you have a friendship it becomes a lot tougher to move on or make decisions to cut someone if they are holding the group back. You can't look at things as objectively and if you are a band that is working for pay, ultimately the responsibility is to the finished product and the professionalism of the group as a whole.

By the same token, I have come to the conclusion that I'd be more comfortable NOT being close friends because it also allows the others to say to me what they need to. And I won't be as hurt if I'm not pulling my weight. And I can make a decision to either step up or resign without emotion becoming part of the decision.

If you are lucky enough to have both things (friendship and you're happy with the musicianship), you scored a home run. But so far in my experience, I've not been fortunate to have this as my fellow musicians have either been one or the other.

Lazylion · #70 01-22-2013, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jive1

...guitarist polished my shoes the morning of my wedding.

Hey, I'm getting married pretty soon... wanna polish my shoes? And my car could use a wash...

mellowinman · #71 01-22-2013, 08:56 PM

I still maintain that even my closest friend doesn't have the relationship that someone who can gel with me musically does. Making proper music together is the ultimate friendship, and it goes way beyond hanging out, and swapping stories.

I sure can forgive a lot about your regular personality if you and I can make it rock.

Musical chemistry is rare, and we are very lucky when we find it.

Of course, before I was married, I had been known to stay with girlfriends who have all kinds of issues if the sex was hot. Can't think of any reason to regret that, either.

Magic is magic, people.

two fingers · #72 01-22-2013, 08:59 PM

Through binoculars.

Lazylion · #73 01-23-2013, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellowinman

Of course, before I was married, I had been known to stay with girlfriends who have all kinds of issues if the sex was hot. Can't think of any reason to regret that, either.

Sounds like you've been quite lucky!

los100malditos · #74 01-23-2013, 01:25 PM

My friends are in my band ... the twins (vocals-guitar/drums) ... we have been friends since 12 years old (now 36) ... we used to be neighbors ... a weekly jam and gig when possible... my high school friend , now friend of all of us is doing backing vocals and lead vocals on some songs ... the currently drummer (the twin) replaced our long time drummer, who is a twins´s long time friend, now friend of all of us ... on the gigs we let old drummer, -also permanent friend-, play some songs ... (he is not main drummer anymore cause he does not attend jamming / rehersals, but still close friend of all) ... we all played at our weddings ...we traveled toghether and hang out, mainly the band ... Musical Chemistry IS ALWAYS THERE and ... the point is ... IF WE DON´T PLAY , WE BARBECUED SOMETHING.

Biggbass · #75 01-23-2013, 01:56 PM

My view seems to change almost weekly as of late.

keiththebassist · #76 01-23-2013, 02:14 PM

I'm very close with all of my bandmates. What's remarkable is the more time we all spend quaffing a pint at the tavern or watching the game or checking out a concert the better and more focused we are at playing. Like we've satisfied our social agenda and when it's rehearsal time we all just hit. When we had a lull in hanging out, we all showed up to rehearsal needing to vent off the latest GF or job drama and then music felt obligatory 'cause sometimes we just wanted to hang out. I'm now thinking about joining up with a second band and almost feel like I'm cheating.

bluewine · #77 01-23-2013, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keiththebassist

I'm very close with all of my bandmates. What's remarkable is the more time we all spend quaffing a pint at the tavern or watching the game or checking out a concert the better and more focused we are at playing. Like we've satisfied our social agenda and when it's rehearsal time we all just hit. When we had a lull in hanging out, we all showed up to rehearsal needing to vent off the latest GF or job drama and then music felt obligatory 'cause sometimes we just wanted to hang out. I'm now thinking about joining up with a second band and almost feel like I'm cheating.

What does this second band offer that you can't get from your primary band?

Blue

tmdazed · #78 01-23-2013, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Floyd Eye

My bandmates are like my brothers.

This, I would do anything for them and them me. I find it helps to forge tight bonds with the guys

keiththebassist · #79 01-24-2013, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluewine

What does this second band offer that you can't get from your primary band?

Blue

The music is a little different, plus that it's just a new set of guys with new musical habits. Just trying to branch out and play with more musicians. Also, my primary band may not be around after the Summers end.

bluewine · #80 01-24-2013, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keiththebassist

The music is a little different, plus that it's just a new set of guys with new musical habits. Just trying to branch out and play with more musicians. Also, my primary band may not be around after the Summers end.

Cool,

It's always better to be proactive.

Blue