How do you view your band members?

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by keiththebassist

I'm very close with all of my bandmates. What's remarkable is the more time we all spend quaffing a pint at the tavern or watching the game or checking out a concert the better and more focused we are at playing. Like we've satisfied our social agenda and when it's rehearsal time we all just hit. When we had a lull in hanging out, we all showed up to rehearsal needing to vent off the latest GF or job drama and then music felt obligatory 'cause sometimes we just wanted to hang out. I'm now thinking about joining up with a second band and almost feel like I'm cheating.

At my age, for me it's better for me to keep it strictly business. Plus with my ADD it makes it hard for me to bond with anyone ( 2 divorces to prove it). We all get along and were all good people. We don't have any divas or "know it alls"

Get to a show, let's do the best we can and have fun, then let's all go home , no hang neccesary.

Blue

[keiththebassist]

Originally Posted by bluewine

At my age, for me it's better for me to keep it strictly business. Plus with my ADD it makes it hard for me to bond with anyone ( 2 divorces to prove it). We all get along and were all good people. We don't have any divas or "know it alls"

Get to a show, let's do the best we can and have fun, then let's all go home , no hang neccesary.

Blue

I can see your point. I guess with younger guys doing all originals it helps to really feel like we on the same mental level, it helps the creative juices to flow in the same direction.

[ErikW]

[quote=Grateful;13714847]My current band:

The Keyboard player and I were strangers and we auditioned into the band and they were all strangers to us.

Others in the band have been friends and/or have worked together for as many as 30 years in varying degrees. Singer and drummer were in a band together, singer and guitarist were in a band together a long time ago, 2 guitarists were in a band together recently.

We all get along great and respect each other. But it's all band-business. We do not hang as a group outside of the band, and really not even after a gig. Not sure what other members do. But I don't feel obligated to 'have' to make friends with them outside the band, as we all have our own families and whatnot. If it evolved into that, then great!

QUOTE]

This is almost my exact situation. I have a lot in common with the guitarist and drummer, but we remain just bandmates and don't really talk outside of the band.

[HolmeBass]

I've been in both sorts of situations, but after a long enough time, if you have musical chemistry, I think it is inevitable that a friendship forms. So even though I left that band, I am still friends with the guys and their gf's or wives. We're good friends, but not the closest of friends. I always love seeing them, but it's not like we're each-other's default hang-out selections.

On the other side of the coin is my main band right now, which started as a trio in 1987, and back then we all lived together. For about 5 crazy months four of us all lived in the same room! Eventually the band broke up and all of those relationships underwent a lot of change, upheaval even, but now 20 years later we're all very close friends, so we started playing as a band again in 2010. Been awesome, and talk about being on the same page musically! All that formative jamming and gigging way back then has created a deep musical connection between all of us. It doesn't hurt that I am also blessed that all of the other guys in the band are ridiculously awesomely talented. And I play the bass, so that works out well for us. These guys are like brothers to me.

[joebar]

i am longtime friends with my guitarist; we dont hang out much but do not have to work at the relationship.
singer and drummer are new to me-which is fine.
the danger of becoming close friends in a musical situation is losing musical objectivity.
i have worked with females fronting bands and because i sing well too, there are plenty
of goosebump moments vocally;if there is chemistry, it can lead to an attraction if boundaries are not set and cause problems at home.

[rtslinger]

Although we only see each other at the shows we are very good friends who are lucky enough to work so well together we also call each other brothers most emails end "your brother from another mother"

[Filipus]

Close friends.
I can't think of joining a band as simply a job, it just doesn't last.
If the people on the band aren't my friends they will be, they MUST be.

[Bass_Pounder]

Originally Posted by Filipus

Close friends.
I can't think of joining a band as simply a job, it just doesn't last.
If the people on the band aren't my friends they will be, they MUST be.

How could you possibly handle replacing/firing other members then ?

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Filipus

Close friends.
I can't think of joining a band as simply a job, it just doesn't last.
.

In some cases thats exactly why it does last.

My band has been together for 7 years ( I've been with them for little over a year) I say the longevity is due to the fact that, it's a business, a job and good people. We don't know each other well enough to get on each others nerves.

Understand that it's a fun business and a fun job.

Blue

[Marial]

My band is an interesting mix of ages and proclivities. Our keyboard player is the oldest, in his late forties, and the drummer and I are next at 40 (he's a week older than I am). Our back up singer and BL are in their mid-thirties, and our lead guitar is still in his twenties. We all have careers except for the BL and lead guitard. The BL quit working to pursue music full-time and as far as I know is living off stock from when he worked at Microsoft and elsewhere and hasn't had a day job in close to two years now.

Only the drummer and I are married, he has a two or three year old daughter, and my wife and I hope to be expecting this year. The keyboard player isn't married but has been partnered with his lady for well over ten years. Everyone else is essentially single.

For everyone but our BL this is very much what I would call a committed hobby or high-functioning avocation. We take it seriously but it's not our primary focus in life. For our BL, of course, it's his entire life. On occasion this can lead to conflict, but not very often.

I think the band is a living laboratory in a lot of ways. Some of us have been playing for years, for some it's their first band ever. Some of us have a fair bit of recording experience and some of us, prior to the band, had none at all.

It's been interesting watching the BL come into his own as a songwriter, an ongoing process, and learn how to navigate booking, promoting, and networking. He's pretty much taken to it like a duck to water, fortunately, and he's a networking monster. Fortunately he doesn't come across in a skeezy fashion and I think that has a lot to do with the opportunities we've had. It also helps that when we play we always deliver a good show, whether we're super tight or loose.

We all come from very different musical backgrounds and so our strengths and weaknesses sometimes work well together and sometimes not so much. It's certainly been a learning experience for me, never having played country music before. I had scale my playing way back.

I don't know, I think it's a great group of people and while it's hard for those of us with careers/kids to maintain the level of focus our BL really wants, we've managed to make it work pretty well for going two years now. Well, there have been a number line up changes outside of the rhythm section and BL, but the lineup is steady now.

It's never ending learning process, that's for sure. I don't view them as 'friends', more as my music buddies. The keyboard player is also my neighbor so if any of my bandmates could be considered friends he'd be the only one.

[Baird6869]

My drummer is tight as hell and we lock extremely well. Not a best friend, but a great guy and we hang out a bit.

Guitarist is a good friend and we also work closely together on our day gig. Great guitarist but no stage presence.

Singer is brand new, but a nice guy and good singer.

[vishuddha]

Man! I appreciate all the responses. This is all very interesting to me... it seems like most musicians got that way from jamming with friends in high school, etc... Some just choose to take the friendship out of it and others choose to focus on it. Go figure.

[sratas]

Originally Posted by vishuddha

Reading some of Blue's posts, it got me thinking... I've never even entertained the idea of not being/becoming close friends with my bandmates, but it seems that some people consider their fellow band members to simply be work associates.

I'm the kind of guy that joins a band BECAUSE of the band relationships you can build. The idea of being a close group touring, playing music, and experiencing life together has always been one of the driving factors in taking my music out of the bedroom.

How do you guys see your band members? Do you form a tight-knit brotherhood (or sisterhood) with your band, or are you simply show-up-and-play coworkers?

I'm a bear and usually I build up friendships with some effort, but when I play with someone and develop a full-time stable project sharing: passion, joy, delusions, soul, improvisation, will, my defects, my pluses, my personality etc...how can I simply consider my mates as collegues in a job?
I play only originals and have been for life, every time I dig into the deep of my perceptions and I do this with someone continuously, I tend to consider that ones occupying a very special niche.
At least no more others have seen me with the same introspection...

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by keiththebassist

I can see your point. I guess with younger guys doing all originals it helps to really feel like we on the same mental level, it helps the creative juices to flow in the same direction.

I would say when your younger period the hang and friendship is important or if your like some of theses guys that have been playing with same guys for over 40 years.

blue

[bassbully]

Originally Posted by bluewine

In some cases thats exactly why it does last.

My band has been together for 7 years ( I've been with them for little over a year) I say the longevity is due to the fact that, it's a business, a job and good people. We don't know each other well enough to get on each others nerves.

Understand that it's a fun business and a fun job.

Blue

Big +1 Blue. I know the guys in my band pretty well and the hang for us all is very good. In 4 years we have never had issues or a raised voice. We also don't know enough about each other to get on each other's nerves is true and I like it that way.

[Mykk]

Respectively


Even when I don't agree with their antics and procedures.

[stratovani]

Right now I'm fortunate to be in a band with a great bunch of guys. We're all older guys, with our drummer being the baby at 39, we're all accomplished musicians, we respect each other and have a good time whether gigging or rehearsing. Since we're a tribute band there are very few musical disagreements, and the ones we've had have been resolved quickly and amicably. I don't see myself leaving this band any time soon, I'll get tired of playing the music before I get tired of playing with my bandmates. We all have professional attitudes, and we don't bring our problems to rehearsals or gigs.

[jmclearnon]

Really depends, quite a few people i play with in bands i will hang with, (this is so we can talk about new music and technique etc ). These are guys from band i am actually a "member" of.

For stuff where i am asked to turn up and play as a session musician/sub, even if it is for several gigs, i won't hang around with them. That's their circle and i have mine.

Gigging for them @2 am i wanna go home and sleep.
Gigging with my band @2am, we will give each other lifts, help pack up and have a drink afterwards.

[Leadfoot]

My current project, your typical gigging classic rock band, formed 1 1/2 yrs ago and we are happy co-workers. BL drummer posted and ad on CL. It was fate, because we all clicked right away. Age range is 30-49. I see us as co-workers because we did not know each other until the band formed. We never would have associated otherwise. We have fun when practicing and at gigs, but don't socialize other than that. No Xmas cards or birthday gifts.

My previous project was with friends. After a year we did not have a good musical dynamic; still not gig-ready, so I bailed out.

[chatterbox272]

Generally for me I would say I view them as friends, I don't think I have a bandmate I wouldn't enjoy hanging out with socially. Usually if it's more of a co-worker relationship I find that I can't read them as well (and vice versa) so we just don't play as well, so I make an effort to be friends with all my bandmates.