How to quit my band?

[posijon]

I play in two bands right now. I'm also in school and have a family. I've decided to make the tough decision to let music take a back seat so that I can focus on school, family, and starting my career. I know I have to quit both bands. Basically, I'm just wanting to know if I should just quit, or play the last 2 shows we have booked and find my replacement. I have practice tomorrow, so advice is very appreciated.

[gjbassist]

If it all possible you should play the two shows you already have booked, especially if they are coming up soon. IMO it's just the right thing to do, especially since you are quitting for personal reasons, not because of a problem within the band. Don't burn any bridges in case you want to get back in with them some day down the road. Let them know tomorrow that you need to take time away from music to concentrate on other things in your life but you are willing to play the two remaining booked gigs if needed.

[Renaissance]

There doesn't seem to be any urgency in your need to leave these bands so I would make it as painless as possible for them. Explain the situation and your decision to your bandmates. Play the remaining gigs and help them find a suitable replacement.

[Phalex]

Tell them you want out, and play any existing commitments you may have.

[jellymax]

for all you know, the band members have figured this out as well & are just waiting till you say it. do they not know you have school, family, & career keeping you busy?

[Jwood]

I would play the two gigs for sure and then offer to transition out once they find the right replacement.

[stagebanter]

Originally Posted by jellymax

for all you know, the band members have figured this out as well & are just waiting till you say it. do they not know you have school, family, & career keeping you busy?

this. bring it out in the sunshine and finish out your commitments. train your replacement.

[P. Aaron]

Originally Posted by Jwood

I would play the two gigs for sure and then offer to transition out once they find the right replacement.

This^

[two fingers]

Yep. Spill the beans and play those gigs.


As far as training replacements, we're all grown here. They can find the replacements and they can "train" them. (Of course, if the replacements need "training" they might not be good replacements.) It's your job to be honest and upfront with everyone. It's not your job, however, to see to it that the band carries on without you. That's their job once you leave.

[Mike Shepard]

Always, always, always ALWAYS!!! Leave on good terms..... Unless they're a bunch of jerks, and then hang them out to dry! jUST KIDDING!Always do whatever is in your power to see to it that they are covered because the 20 year reunion tour will be here before you know it, and you always want to do be able to man- hug... Or, uh, maybe just knuckle bump when you see your old band mates. Plus, they may need you to fill in somewhere down the road with a sweet paying gig that the new guy has to sit out because he has the flu. If its right before your anniversary, hey, SWEET! The wife gets an extra special present and your old band buds are glad to see ya... Because you didn't leave like a looser and you saved their butts and a few bucks on a gig... And you had that awesome thrill of playing your bass... And remember, that's why we call it " playing" a bass, and not " working" a bass.

[nicopiano]

Originally Posted by Phalex

Tell them you want out, and play any existing commitments you may have.

+1

[BayStateBass]

I feel the same way, inform them you are leaving and reassure them that you will play the shows you've committed to if they need you to play them. If the shows are a while away and they've found a competent replacement who is up to speed by then, then bow out and let the new guy play the shows.

Good luck!

[JakeF]

Fire. Lots of things. Set them on fire. Guarantee you will have no problem leaving.