I am such a coward

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by obimark

I am not an email for everything guy- (being 42 not that young anymore either) but frankly this band was going nowhere, refused to treat me as an equal, and a simple email that I was moving on was all it took, Nothing wrong with it in my mind at all, we had only played 3 real gigs in a 9 month period and as I said they should have picked up the vibes from me saying that our practices were WAY WAY TOO loud for the 100th time.

Now if I had played with these guys for 6-7 years and had great success and been better friends with them, yes I probably would have at least called or told them in person, but seriously until I find a long term band that works for me, they are somewhat disposable, its a two way street like many things in life, treat me with respect give me a fair say in what we are doing, and I will treat you likewise. Sorry if that doesn't make sense to some, but it is how I live.

Given the particular lack of respect that was prevalent in that situation, I can certainly understand why you felt that you didn't owe those guys anything more than you had already provided to them. Under similar circumstances, I would probably have reacted much the same way...

MM

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by bigboy_78

I really hate confrontation, and especially hate break ups and letting someone down, so I avoided doing it in person. Oh, well send me a white-feather.

MM

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by RandalPinkFloyd

I agree. Depending on the seriousness of the band, how long you've been together, etc, each scenario is different. There are times and situations where quitting face to face should be done, but there are other times where it just wastes everyone's time. example: I just quit a band I was in for only 2 months. I attempted to quit face to face, thinking it was the right thing to do, after the lead singer decided to toss out half our song lists and go to a straight country setlist out of the blue. That was it for me, and if I was on the fence, the next stunt would solve that problem. So I attempted to tell them I quit face to face but it just turned out to be one last chance for them to waste my time. Band reh was supposed to be at 6pm. At 6:50, they still had not arrived, I drove off. I get a text at 6:55 "we're here". My response "Got tired of waiting, you should find another bass player, I quit". Maybe it's the former military man in me, but that's just not acceptable. I don't wait in parking lots for 45-60 minutes for anyone. It's disrespectful and sorry. A real pet peeve of mine. I didn't have a key or the combination to the studio so it's not like I could have just played withouth them. Tardiness like this was one of things I was getting tired of but not the main reason I quit. Lead singer was always late, usually intoxicated, could never stay past 8pm to make up the 20, 30, 40, 60 minutes he was late, constantly trying to cancel Saturday rehearsal, didn't have time to rehearse more than twice a week, but had plenty of time to bring girls back to the rehearsal studio on the others nights to try and score. I learned real quick that these clowns were more interested in the idea of being in a band, than playing music. And don't even get me started on the actual music. Drummer was solid, but the lead singer was a trainwreck most of the time, even when he wasn't drunk. So every rehearsal songs were getting dumbed down to the point we had 3 songs all in the same key, with the exact same 3 chords. And then he wanted to play them back to back at gigs that way "I can just leave my capo on the 4th fret and knock out these 3" he said. Obviously a big no no, a great way to bore your audience, assuming we had ever gotten a gig. Then it was "we're tossing out these upbeat songs and just playing these slow country tunes". All because the lead singer wanted to play rhythm guitar and sing and wasn't good enough to do both. All the new songs just happened to be these really slow sad country songs that the lead singer loved and could relate to. No one else had any input. The audition ad had stated "Southern Rock band needs bass player". Two months later, we were an all country cover band. I saw them post another ad the other day. They're still looking for a new bass player. Of course it doesn't say they are a country cover band. They just resposted the one I responded to. Good riddance.

MM