I can't believe I have to vent..

BassNeo · #1 02-21-2012, 07:52 PM

I usually don't fall victim to this and am more often than not the guy giving the advice to just move along.

But yet, here I am...

I have just joined an originals band. They have some good, quality music that I think with some polish and hard work has a good shot. They also play cover tunes to fill in the set list and keep the crowd buying drinks.

On first contact, it seemed they had their act together. Reverbnation site seemed organized and had a few songs on it that were good but unpolished.

On my tryout it was obvious I was the seasoned musician of the group, and considering I liken myself just above part-time hack that's saying a lot.

I have tried passive methods of getting some structure to the practice sessions. Suggesting we put together a set list, and collecting the best 6, 8, 10 songs that we want to focus on for a demo. All the members (myself included) like Foo Fighters. Somehow, the covers are now 75% FF content which is great, but I know we need diversity and have made that suggestion, but everyone just mumbles and starts into another song.

Speaking of which.. Tonight we played Times Like These. It is not an easy song to play as it's not a 4/4 tune (7/4 i believe). We have been at it two months now and with everyone saying they know the song I literally DRAGGED everyone through it, finally singing louder than the singer was though his monitors. I honestly wasn't trying to be an ass, but I was just so frustrated by then I had to make a point.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right.. I should just quit.

BUT.

The music scene in this town (Peterborough, ON) is expletives that would put me on time out with JimmyM if I said them here. It took me three months to find this group and really, there's not much better from what I have heard. At the very least it gives me motivation to practice daily and get out of the house once a week. However being a non-smoker when the drummer and singer spark up I want to pack my stuff and leave.

As soon as something else comes up I'm tail lights. Till then I guess I'll keep updating this thread with the latest facepalm and head-banging-on-desk moments.

Did I mention I think I'm the only one who practices? Yeah, that too..

HolmeBass · #2 02-21-2012, 07:58 PM

You should either:

1) Quit

2) Lower your expectations so it doesn't hurt so badly

fraublugher · #3 02-21-2012, 07:58 PM

I feel your pain bro, I've gotten much more patient with age , but omg the ignorance of my youth I've done some pretty stupid stuff.
good luck

Nophret · #4 02-21-2012, 08:09 PM

Walk, dude. Resentment breeds hatred breeds resentment, and so on.

Dug2 · #5 02-21-2012, 08:20 PM

that sux! sorry to hear bro. if it helps any....im not even in a band.

waleross · #6 02-21-2012, 08:33 PM

+1 walk and maybe there is a better band waiting around the corner......................

Icey101 · #7 02-21-2012, 09:20 PM

2 months to learn a song ? drop that song and move to another

75% of FF content ? way to much or become a FF Tribute band

you cant change them, so hang in there and find a side project, start your own band on the side and keep going, if your band kicks off they will be way jealous and maybe you can pick the best of them and then split

Yango · #8 02-21-2012, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HolmeBass

You should either:

1) Quit

2) Lower your expectations so it doesn't hurt so badly

3) Start smoking.

krstko · #9 02-22-2012, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yango

3) Start smoking.

That is the worst thing you can do, if you want to die, use a gun, it's faster and cheaper than smoking

VanillaThundah · #10 02-22-2012, 01:15 AM

Bands can be like girlfriends....being stuck with a bad one can be worse than not having one at all. At least when you don't have a bad one dragging you down, you are free to go another route at any time. I've been in this role you're in before (the "fixer") where you basically try to do "Flip this Band" and all you ever do is end up wasting your time, your money, and your energy trying to get other people to do the same with no avail. Do like Pantera said and WALK!

lowfreq33 · #11 02-22-2012, 01:30 AM

Someone told me something very wise a long time ago. You can't "want it" FOR someone. These guys are happy with the way things are, and there's not much you can do to motivate them any more than that.

When you mention smoking, do you mean cigarettes or pot? Because if it's pot, that's probably a big part of the problem. I don't have a problem with people who partake, I did my fair share when I was younger. But I do shy away from hiring players who are habitual tokers, because they tend to be less motivated, forgetful, lazy, etc. A relevant quote would be "marijuana makes you content with mediocrity".

Nophret · #12 02-22-2012, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

You can't "want it" FOR someone.

+ one zillion!

James Judson · #13 02-22-2012, 02:07 AM

I'm a much better musician when smoking pot. Why??? Cuz I focus on what I'm doing and I leave the other musicians alone. Now that I figured that out I don't need a toke anymore, just lots of patients.

You can not play the others instruments and trying will only end in heart break.

BassNeo · #14 02-22-2012, 05:55 AM

No pot at any rehearsals yet. If it did appear I would make my leave el permanente.

I'm not against it. To each their own, if you like it fine, if you think you're a better player when you smoke it, knock yourself out. I just won't be part of your band. That's my personal preference and I expect anyone to respect that as much as I respect their prerogative to smoke weed.

But I hear what everyone is saying. I'm the type of person that practices more often when I have a band to practice with so it's more of a motivation thing. That however fades if no one else is working towards a goal. This seems to be the case and I'm setting a deadline that if improvement isn't made then I'm out.

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not alone in thinking this is quickly turning into dead-end alley..

**jarrydee** · #15 02-22-2012, 06:13 AM

so....just them having a smoke makes you want to quit? wow

guy n. cognito · #16 02-22-2012, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jarrydee

so....just them having a smoke makes you want to quit? wow

Nothing shocking here. Despite your feelings on pot, it IS still illegal. Personally, I don't care if someone wants to smoke it, but I'm not going to ruin my life with a drug arrest, either.

mongo2 · #17 02-22-2012, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BassNeo

Did I mention I think I'm the only one who practices? Yeah, that too..

They don't sound like they're very serious about it. You could just do it for fun and to keep your chops up and not sweat it until something else comes along.

theretheyare · #18 02-22-2012, 07:00 AM

OP, you sound, to be honest, as if this band is all supposed to be about you, and you only. (Trust me- I have done my share of blowing up friendships and bands in the past because they weren't "serious" enough...). It should be about the band and what makes it work. Maybe a certain shoddyness brings a kind of swagger that makes the band stand out among its competition, and maybe there's not much of a point of playing a song as tight as the FF. Maybe you can use what the band did do with that 7/4 to turn into a song of their own. Raw talent can be shaped in multiple ways, and it seems a bit strange that you, the newest member, seem to assume (like I did back in the day) that you are the chosen one who knows exactly how to fix all the 'problems', probably killing the patient on the operating table.

Think about what is good about the band, and what you can do to contribute. You'll feel much better....

Jason P Bass · #19 02-22-2012, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theretheyare

OP, you sound, to be honest, as if this band is all supposed to be about you, and you only. ....

Could not disagree more.

It sounds to me like the OP saw potential in the original material, and wants to work with the band to get them on stage. However, the band turns out to be a bunch of chuckleheads.

This happened to me twice in the last 6 months. Bands sent me decently produced, well written original demos. I went to meet the band and had 1 question: "Who wrote those demos, and where did he go after he quit the band?"

The only eternal lesson I have learned through playing with bands is that you can never, ever, EVER change a person. Trying will only make you frustrated and bitter.

guy n. cognito · #20 02-22-2012, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theretheyare

OP, you sound, to be honest, as if this band is all supposed to be about you, and you only. (Trust me- I have done my share of blowing up friendships and bands in the past because they weren't "serious" enough...). It should be about the band and what makes it work. Maybe a certain shoddyness brings a kind of swagger that makes the band stand out among its competition, and maybe there's not much of a point of playing a song as tight as the FF. Maybe you can use what the band did do with that 7/4 to turn into a song of their own. Raw talent can be shaped in multiple ways, and it seems a bit strange that you, the newest member, seem to assume (like I did back in the day) that you are the chosen one who knows exactly how to fix all the 'problems', probably killing the patient on the operating table.

Think about what is good about the band, and what you can do to contribute. You'll feel much better....

There's nothing about the OPs story that makes me believe that this band "works".