I guess I have to quit

[oldrocker]

I don't think I'm looking for advice, I just want to get my thoughts on this together.

I've been playing with a group in a basement band once a week for a year now.

We have a current set list of about 10 songs. We've played a bunch more, I have a list of about 75 songs we've played throughout the year, but it seems we only have a capacity for about 10 songs.

As new songs get added old ones get forgotten. As we spend the same amount of time on smoke breaks as playing we only have time to play about 10 songs.

This is really frustrating for me as these guys are some pretty good players (the best I've played with) and we could put something pretty good together with a little more focus and a little less smoke. Besides guitars, bass and drums we have keyboards a sax and harmonica player with both male and female vocals so we can play almost any type of song.

I've tried to get them focused and organized a couple of times with no success.

I realize that these guys will not change so I realize that I'm the one with the problem. I will not give them an ultimatum or threaten to quit to try to get them to change so I guess I'll have to either live with it or leave.

Thanks guys.

[Rocker949]

It just sounds like the chemistry isn't right. I would explore other options with other people.

[deekay911]

10 songs after all that time isn't a lot. Different people have different expectations, looks like they are happy going nowhere. Have you played out yet? I would think not. Move on..

[lmfreeman9]

Some people just want to jam and socialize, others are more ambitious. Sounds like you need to play with some musicians who have the same goals as you.

[Bassmickeyd]

Hey Oldrocker

Sounds like it's turning into a job which equals work which equals pay which equals, wait a minute, it's turned into work with no pay. ....... That's not right.
I've always found those situations very daunting. You'd like something worth the effort while someone else just wants to get out of the house and away from the wife and kids and someone else is lonely living alone and wants to get high and hang out. ...... Dame de-mock-racy. You might have to admit you've out grown this "project", and decide to do what you want to do before more time is wasted.
Personally I don't like to rehearse. I find bands that rehearse try to relive a good rehearsal once they get on stage. If they ever get on stage. Music should be an event not a recreation. (IMO)
Another problem is if you do vocal tunes and you don't sing you're stuck doing songs other people sing, good or bad you're stuck supporting them.
If I have to stand behind another lame ass guitarist who thinks he's Stevie Ray and do Cold Shot again, well I may just have to start packing my own piece.
The decision is yours my friend.

[Indiana Mike]

I'm going thru a similar situation .

I have been waiting on a buddy of mine ( geedtarist) to get his life together for two years. A little more than two years ago I bought the Ampeg stack and a bunch of other gear , we had some others looking to get something together , things were moving forward and then he had a life crisis . I waited and waited . I ended up downsizing , losing contacts ETC...

Misery loves company

We have played the same 10 songs for the last two years . I have learned a ton of new material , he has not.

Two weeks ago I stepped out and never felt better about it. Met some new people and started over. Couldn't be happier ATM

If he gets it together , great , if not , I ain't waitin'.

Maybe he will be motivated by my action , maybe not.

Didn't mean to hijack but I feel your frustration .

[scootron]

The band needs to go play somewhere, even if it is for free. Nothing gives you a reality check like the first gig.

A friend and I started two different bands at the same time. He was in a larger town and had better musicians. Ten months later we got together to compare notes. My band had gigged a dozen times and was tight. His band was still practicing in the garage. I invited his band to open for us at our next show. They declined, said they weren't ready. I listened to them, and they were fine, just afraid to get out there and play.

Having a deadline (gig date) will sometimes make a band knuckle down and focus. Also, you'll have to settle upon a couple of dozen songs to build a setlist with. If they won't do this with you, then you need to cut bait.

[mrjim123]

That is W A Y too slow. If you want to play out then definitely move on. Look for an established band that needs a bass player (you live in a highly populated area, so that should be easy) instead of joining a bunch of people trying to put a band together from scratch. Good luck.

[Mr_Sore_Fingerz]

if you really wanna stay with them, I suggest nicotine gum


But on a serious note, you might need to find another band. Chemistry can be just as important, if not more, than talent IMHO.

[Ric5]

Join a second band and this current one can be an occaisional diversion ...

[MysticMichael]

Years ago, when I was just starting to play, I was in a basement band with some guys in the neighborhood. We developed a few originals, along with our classic rock covers, and really sounded quite good.

I tried to light a fire under those guys, to show them what we could become if we got serious about it and tried to take it somewhere. But there wasn't enough discipline, not enough focus. Everyone was just too spacey...

Lead guitarist, Bradley, was some kind of wunderkind. No musical training whatsoever. But he could play by ear like no one's business. Scary good.

One day, about three years after the band broke up, I dropped by Bradley's place for a little visit. There he was, hunched over his record player, guitar in hand, playing along with an Al DiMeola album - nailing Al's solos note for note!

(I myself was way into fusion, i.e. Jeff Beck Wired and Blow by Blow, Jean Luc Ponty Cosmic Messenger, etc.) I asked Bradley: "So please tell me again, why is it that we couldn't pull together a rock/fusion band and totally rule this kind of material?" He gave me that same ol' goofy grin as usual and just shrugged...

So much wasted potential! Arggh!!!

MM

[KeithPas]

Originally Posted by scootron

The band needs to go play somewhere, even if it is for free. Nothing gives you a reality check like the first gig.

A friend and I started two different bands at the same time. He was in a larger town and had better musicians. Ten months later we got together to compare notes. My band had gigged a dozen times and was tight. His band was still practicing in the garage. I invited his band to open for us at our next show. They declined, said they weren't ready. I listened to them, and they were fine, just afraid to get out there and play.

Having a deadline (gig date) will sometimes make a band knuckle down and focus. Also, you'll have to settle upon a couple of dozen songs to build a setlist with. If they won't do this with you, then you need to cut bait.

A big big +1!!! You need to have goals in order to progress with any band. Ten tunes in a year is not a productive way to spend ones time.

[Bassmickeyd]

I've noticed everyones suggestions are based on "if you want to play out" which was not mentioned in the original post.

"Playing out" is a waste of time and energy these days....... Think about it.
You own $10,000-worth of gear which you spend the afternoon transporting to a bar across town or in the next state(remember Jerry Lee Lewis). The owner, who doesn't like musicians,(cause he's bald and his fat, ugly wife has a thing for young men with hair), has the stage electrical running thru the kitchen before the stage. So every time they turn on the dish washer there's a 60-cycle buzz across the stage. You leave you're brand new Lakland/Sadowsky or, god forbid, vintage Fender on the stage and find some drunk, with the IQ of a tuning peg, stumbles onto the stage and knocks it over. The owner won't pay more than $50-per man but he couldn't rent all the gear you've dragged in for that little bit of chump change (let alone hire anyone to play the rented gear). You start at ten and play "the hits" or other peoples tunes till 2-am to either your parents, friends or complete drunks, (Who else is in a bar at 1:30 am). Cause your girlfriend slipped out with some other guy before the end of the first set. Every time you take a break the owner cranks the tunes so loud you can't breath and keeps asking you when your going back on. Plus he charges you full price for beer. You play till 2:22 am because the guitarist, who is half in the bag and won't leave the stage till he plays a decent solo (which he is totally incapable of in his present condition. And for some reason he keeps repeating "I really love you guys"). You get home about 4:00 am, dead-beat, so you don't wake up till mid afternoon, (To a answering machine message from your girlfriend saying "We need to talk".) So the next day is a complete waste and you don't touch your instrument.
Monday you get a call from the guitar player asking if you remember packing the mixing board into the van.
All this so you said you "played out".
Why not work on original material or at least interesting covers, then rent a hall, (there's lots of them around sitting empty) saying it's for a benefit. Run the bar, make all the money and throw everyone out at midnight (except for your 'new' girlfriend who you've had collecting tickets and running the bar.)

Most bar owners think more of a pool table than they do of musicians. Why? Cause you can do something they can't, so your going to pay for that.

Disclaimer: This was meant to be funny (ha, ha). Do not repost bashing me with your great bar gig stories on how your band is so good they 1) payed us extra, (I love that one) 2) asked us back,(What are you guy's doing next month?) or 3) your girlfriend wouldn't do that cause you're related. (Remember Jerry Lee Lewis) (Na, Na, Na, Nice Lady)
OK
Unless the stories are funny.

[::::BASSIST::::]

I joined a cover band, as a side-project, and within 3 weeks, we have a good handle on 18 songs. They are all professional type people in their late forties and do this for fun. However, they won't do a gig for less than $100 a man.... which is perfect to me.

My main band has played a few gigs for next to nothing, because the bar/club is very well known and we see it as a 'resume' gig. I'm not doing those anymore. Soundguy gets his $100, each band member gets $10... not cool.

[tycobb73]

It is what it is. You know where you stand. You have to decide if its worth your time.

[MEKer]

We all have had such situations and yeah-gotta move on. I do want to say that Bassmickeyd's comment about a message from the girlfriend saying "...we need to talk" made me laugh. I have taught my boys the "4 and 4 words" : 4 words you many times want to say to a girlfriend but never do if you are a gentleman AND 4 words you never want to hear from a girlfriend.
The first 4: "Shut the f... up!"
the 4 you never wanna hear: "We need to talk"

Neither ever applies to my basses.

[cassanova]

Originally Posted by oldrocker

I don't think I'm looking for advice, I just want to get my thoughts on this together.

I've been playing with a group in a basement band once a week for a year now.

We have a current set list of about 10 songs. We've played a bunch more, I have a list of about 75 songs we've played throughout the year, but it seems we only have a capacity for about 10 songs.

As new songs get added old ones get forgotten. As we spend the same amount of time on smoke breaks as playing we only have time to play about 10 songs.

This is really frustrating for me as these guys are some pretty good players (the best I've played with) and we could put something pretty good together with a little more focus and a little less smoke. Besides guitars, bass and drums we have keyboards a sax and harmonica player with both male and female vocals so we can play almost any type of song.

I've tried to get them focused and organized a couple of times with no success.

I realize that these guys will not change so I realize that I'm the one with the problem. I will not give them an ultimatum or threaten to quit to try to get them to change so I guess I'll have to either live with it or leave.

Thanks guys.

This is one of the few times I'll ever say this. You're only playing with them once per week so I see no need to quit jamming with them.

Unless you're completely miserable in the situation, then why not continue playing with them until you find others that are more of a mind set to yours. Then, should you find what it is you're looking for, you might consider calling it quits with them.

[Stumbo]

Unless you have a gig coming up, it's just a social band.

[oldrocker]

I have an update on this that I think is pretty funny.

The drummer in this band had a Labor Day block party. He tried to get something together with these guys to play the block party, with no success. Most of the band wanted to play except for the guitar player/band leader/rehersal space owner

There is a pretty good guitar player that lives on the same block as the drummer. This guitar player plays in a different band. This guitar player, the drummer, me and one of the singers of the band get together, rehearse a couple of times and put together 25 songs to play at the block party.

All members of the other band were invited to join this project but the guiar player makes no effort. At the last minute the guitar player decides he now wants to get in on this. He gets the idea he will come down to block party and jam with us. The drummer and I suggest to him that we put together a short set (6- 10) of our current songs and both bands can play the block party.

The other members of the band are all excited to this. 2 days before the party, as we are finalizing details, we all get this email from the guitar player:

Originally Posted by guitar player1

Hello to all. After a week of thinking out what direction I want to go musically, I came to the conclusion this the band is just not what i'm looking for. I'm sorry to say. I'm going way of the blues, and some rock. Out of this group, should these people be interested, I would like to hold onto (part time harmonca player) and (the other singer) ( again, should they be interested ) to work on a new format I'm more interested in. To those not mentioned, thank you so much for sharing your time and music with me. Your equipment can be picked up at your convenience. Have a great time at the party, and good luck to all of you. Sincerely, Guitar Player 1

We play blues and rock, and any song this guy suggests, and some pop tunes the singer he wants to keep likes to sing.

The next day I get this email:

Originally Posted by guitar player1

Mike your equipment is already to be picked up. Please pick up at your convenience but as soon as possible, I need the area for other equipment. Thanks. Guitar Player 1

I only kept a guitar stand and a 12 inch cab at his rehearsal space I call him right away he says come get it - I get there right away he is not around his wife lets me in to get my stuff. She is more bummed than I am.

We play the party - it is a lot of fun. We end up having 4 bands playing all afternoon - The drummer's son's 2 bands and a band the drummer and singer used to be in before they joined the guitar player 1 band. Very low pressure fun situation

OK fast forward a couple of weeks - yesterday I get an email from guitar player 1 - Asking if I've found a band yet. He knows some 30 something years olds in a 90s rock / Green Day type cover band that need a bass player. I write back expressing my appreciation in him thinking of me and that I haven't committed full time to a new band yet, but that I'm not interested in playing in a 90s cover band. I tell him I'm more of a rock/blues guy

Today I get this email:

Originally Posted by guitar player1

Would you want to sit in tonight, I have a new sax player coming here for the first time. And (different drummer who used to play with us) will be playing drums. I have been trying out bass and drum players, but haven't settled on anything yet. One of the bass players was ....
Guitar Player 1

Funny Stuff

[JimmyM]

Get away from this moron NOW! No good will ever come out of working with him.