I hate my drummer

[mattbass6945]

"I think the main problem is that they won't be able to tell between me and any other bassist, because they don't know what a good bassist sounds like/does"

sounds like even more reason to leave......

[nortonrider]

Originally Posted by Pills Are Yummy

I think the main problem is that they won't be able to tell between me and any other bassist, because they don't know what a good bassist sounds like/does

Maybe the drummer is jealous of your humility and that's why he treats you so bad.

[NYCbassist]

Find yourself a good drummer with a good attitude. Then see if the band will consider picking him up and dumping this DH. That would be sweet revenge and I'm usually not vengeful.

[SquierJazz72]

Yeah, I wouldn't even say confront him. If he's already consistently proven he's going to be an ***hole to you, with no signs of stopping, no matter what, walk.

You don't need that, especially if the rest of the band silently condones it.

[bolophonic]

Come up with a different way of writing songs. Throw him some recordings of your bass lines and tell him to come back with something awesome. Or record them with drums, so he knows what to do. Work out your parts separately with the guitarists and then present the fully fleshed out songs to the drummer, so that he can't just say that the bass parts are what is standing in his way. That is the only way you are going to own those songs.

[jmattbassplaya]

Originally Posted by bolophonic

Come up with a different way of writing songs. Throw him some recordings of your bass lines and tell him to come back with something awesome. Or record them with drums, so he knows what to do. Work out your parts separately with the guitarists and then present the fully fleshed out songs to the drummer, so that he can't just say that the bass parts are what is standing in his way. That is the only way you are going to own those songs.

IME, this rarely works unless your main songwriter(s) are cool with outside influences. Given this is a metal band, however, I find it even more unlikely to work.

[mmx6]

Some drummers are a-holes and self centered and outright selfish, and some drummers respect all band members and treat the bassist like his or her best friend in a band situation anyways.

Let's face it, drummers also hid in the shadows and only get a small portion in a song for freestyle or solos. Same with the bassist. But lead guitarists and singers get all the spotlight and gets all the credits, recognition and fan girls lol.

We drummers keep the beat, bassists keep back track and back guitarists support the lead guitarist, and singers just sing. Without drummers and bassists (workers of the shadows in a contemporary musical band) the performance would fall apart

Enjoying yourself, have fun is the most important as a musician. But sometimes it can be out of your hands.

I as a drummer had some problems with a guitarist (lead). The guitarist was cocky, selfish and pretend he can run things by himself. I feel disrespected and worthless after his offensive remarks before the gig. But hey, we are drummers, our stress and anger relief is to hit the drums and do crazy solos (lol half joking). End of the song, I normally do some crazy long ass fill and let myself shine a bit in from of the audience.

This was a problem only when I used to play rock.


Now I play mainly jazz and blue gigs as a drummer, the players such as the bassist and the sax players are very respectful and classy. But hey, the style is changed and they are all in their 40s and 50s while I am only 21. I respect them the most as they are much older than me and more experienced than I am, I feel very lucky to even play with them. They are humble and very respectful to me as well and treat me equally.


If you are not "hardcore enough" for metal, change bands or change your genre. Different genres of music shape people's personalities because it reflect the dynamics and power of certain styles only playing, personality and attitude can provide.

Example is death metal, respect and cooperation is one thing, but aggression and occasionally swearing and cursing is part of the musician's identity. I bet you will not find a very gentle, kind, polite and humble death or heavy metaler on stage, this is their on stage personality and image as it attributes to the music thy are playing. Off stage they might be complete different people.


My 2 cents

[mellowinman]

Have you tried marking your territory by urinating somewhere near his kit? It works in the wild. I have to be honest; I've never tried anything like that, but I've seen it have great effect in more than one nature documentary. Another thing would be to introduce him to a really great lady, or perhaps bring him pistachio ice cream.

Always say his name in pig latin, too. People love that.

[Not yet]

What's w the pills are yummy.... Is it a drug thing/not thing maybe?

[wabbit]

Flinstones chewables would be my guess. So yeah, drugs.

[bolophonic]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

IME, this rarely works unless your main songwriter(s) are cool with outside influences. Given this is a metal band, however, I find it even more unlikely to work.

Sorry, dude. Your lack of experience is showing here.

[bggeezer]

Get The F**K out of there.

[Rickengeezer]

The original drummer in my current band and I never meshed--he insisted that I never play any notes other than on 1 and 3 (this is in a 3-piece blues band), and if I threw in a simple passing note he'd tell me I should join a Rush tribute band. At one gig I did a small run coming out of a short drum break and he stopped playing and yelled "bass solo". He would also accuse both me and the BL guitar player of "rushing", although when we would record anything it was clear that he'd slow down steadily through any song. The last straw came when he accused the BL guitar player of singing in the wrong tempo, when it was an original song written by the guitarist. The guitarist ultimately broke up the band after a particularly dreadful gig, and then reformed it by cell phone on the drive home--without the drummer. We're still going strong 8 years later, apparently still rushing the tempo together.

[ErebusBass]

Originally Posted by scottfeldstein

Yes. Promptly, politely and with finality. If anyone asks why, tell them you find the drummer too difficult to work with. Do not argue about whose fault it is. If anyone tries to convince you to stay, to work something out, politely refuse. If you find the guy that difficult to work with interpersonally and musically, it's not worth it. Get out.

This. If you stick around longer before the inevitable happens, you're wasting their time as well as your own.

[Mtnman]

In life there are always going to be people you don't mesh with for whatever reason. From what you are saying, not only is there a personality mismatch, but he is deliberately bullying you. Maybe not physically, but certainly psychologically. This is a toxic relationship and will not change until you take some kind of action to stand up for yourself. The important thing here is that you make it clear that you WILL NOT be treated disrespectfully and stand your ground with this d-bag.

[lomo]

Originally Posted by Pills Are Yummy

I think the main problem is that they won't be able to tell between me and any other bassist, because they don't know what a good bassist sounds like/does

Yet another reason to bail.

[lfmn16]

Originally Posted by Pills Are Yummy

I think all I have to do is intimidate him. It's worked in the past in other situations

You can never fix one a-- hole by becoming another a-- hole.

If you can't find a grown up solution then it's time to leave.

[mpace]

Sorry if this sounds judgemental- this is just what I would say to myself. If you stay and are not satisfied then that is on you and not them. If you stay in a situation where your peers do not respect you then you are disrespecting yourself.
Put downs would be a deal breaker- but stylistically speaking, for the band I am in now, I have had to work with the drummer so we both appreciate our styles and trust eachother enough to not get fustrated when someone throws an offtime beat or leaves the pocket to solo. Looking back on those moments they are challenges that take you out of your comfort zone and help you grow as a player and achieve some really cool/original interactions IMO. But again if you are being disrespected I would say find another band, if there are no bands, get a drum machine and practice or make a bass solo recordings to use in the future or even get a guitar and songwrite using another medium.

[thephunk96]

Whats the point in being in the band if you don't enjoy it? Cause your never gonna get anywhere if you don't get on with one another.
Have a quiet word with him and ask him why he stops when you join in.. See what he has to say. If it doesn't work out, then leave. Especially if your the bass player and he's the drummer.. Cause man, you gotta be tight together.

I'm a band and me and my drummer are best mates. He's a metal drummer and uses double bass constantly and I play funk.. Luckily we're not taking the band too seriously, just a jam so I got nothing to worry about. But if we didn't get on then I'd be out the band straight away..

[ibateur]

+1 to leaving