I want out.

H2ODog · #1 09-01-2009, 10:44 AM

I have been playing with this group for three months, did a couple of gigs with them and have one this coming weekend. I find that i'm not enjoying the music we play (surf) as i originally did and miss playing rock.

After this weekend i want to leave, i don't really click with these guys and for a number of reasons but mainly i'm not enjoying playing together any more. I'm having a tough time deciding on how to do it. They are basically nice guys but just not what i'm looking for. How do i get out without them being pissed at me?

DblG · #2 09-01-2009, 10:48 AM

Tell the truth...your heart isn't into it as much as theirs. Offer to stay on until they find a replacement. Make sure they find a replacement within whatever time frame you need to leave by so they don't drag their feet and you're still with them in 6 monthes.

MonkeyBass · #3 09-01-2009, 10:48 AM

Be honest, and give them a month to find a replacement.

You've got to be true to yourself.

mccartneyman · #4 09-01-2009, 10:49 AM

Above all, be honest. If they get mad, so be it. Do what you have to do and consider what makes you happy.

polydeathsphere · #5 09-01-2009, 10:54 AM

Fake your own death?

or just be honest and tell them you need to move on to other things, everyone here is right

H2ODog · #6 09-01-2009, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polydeathsphere

Fake your own death?

or just be honest and tell them you need to move on to other things, everyone here is right

Fake your own death, LOL, good one. Thanks guys for your input, .

DeluxeRed · #7 09-01-2009, 11:05 AM

You're probably not going to be able to do it without them at least being dissapointed--you hope! They might just be at the point that they were ready to talk to you, too, though you don't indicate that. Anyway, don't confuse dissapointment with being "pissed". They will have more work in their future, but that's just the nature of the game.

Consider your rep in town. Don't leave them hanging on any already booked gigs (though don't let them book any more without checking with you first). Do you want to stick it out a bit longer just to be able to say you did? ("I was with those guys a year..." sounds better when auditioning for your next gig.) Do you have someone else you can recommend?

Can you affect the direction of the band towards something you like better? Maybe they are unhappy, too, and were just looking for the opening to start playing Rush or something.

Be honest, professional, and you should do fine.

Bubumaster · #8 09-01-2009, 11:06 AM

Tell them that U're an undercover terrorist

H2ODog · #9 09-01-2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeluxeRed

You're probably not going to be able to do it without them at least being dissapointed--you hope! They might just be at the point that they were ready to talk to you, too, though you don't indicate that. Anyway, don't confuse dissapointment with being "pissed". They will have more work in their future, but that's just the nature of the game.

Consider your rep in town. Don't leave them hanging on any already booked gigs (though don't let them book any more without checking with you first). Do you want to stick it out a bit longer just to be able to say you did? ("I was with those guys a year..." sounds better when auditioning for your next gig.) Do you have someone else you can recommend?

Can you affect the direction of the band towards something you like better? Maybe they are unhappy, too, and were just looking for the opening to start playing Rush or something.

Be honest, professional, and you should do fine.

I can't say that that they may be thinking the same, i don't know. I just know i'm not happy there and the result is that i'm not motivated to progress with them. I have been in a few bands, not nearly as many as the more experienced guys here but i have experienced a really fun time with the ones i was previously in. This is new to me as this time i'm the one that wants out.

I would never leave them hanging with any gigs, that would not be cool but I can't see myself doing this for another 9 months. One of the problem is that i can't get any input as it's controlled by one guy mainly (self assigned leader), i suggested some material and he would not even listen to it.

I guess i'll just have to let them know it's not working out for me and part in good terms.

DeluxeRed · #10 09-01-2009, 11:39 AM

Well, it sounds like you have the right attitude. Just try not to be a prick about it--that's all I ever ask of my bandmates.

Being in a band you're comfortable with is a wonderful thing, and it can be sad when it doesn't work out. And there is a difference between being in a group that is a collaboration and working for someone else's band. Good luck on your next adventure, whichever it may be.

**Stumbo** · #11 09-01-2009, 11:45 AM

Here are a couple of links you may want to check out:
Quitting
Giving notice

H2ODog · #12 09-01-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeluxeRed

Well, it sounds like you have the right attitude. Just try not to be a prick about it--that's all I ever ask of my bandmates.

Being in a band you're comfortable with is a wonderful thing, and it can be sad when it doesn't work out. And there is a difference between being in a group that is a collaboration and working for someone else's band. Good luck on your next adventure, whichever it may be.

I'm a pretty easy going guy and not the type to deliberately stir up the pot. I'm not going to bring up any issues, just say it's not working out for me and thank them for the time we played together. Thanks Red!

bassbully · #13 09-01-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonkeyBass

Be honest, and give them a month to find a replacement.

You've got to be true to yourself.

Ya...there you go. My last band just a few months ago (country covers and originals) was tough to stay in. I wasnt feelin it no more and the practice drive was murder. I had another project lined up too boot. I liked the guys but were not tight to them except to practice and gig...no outside hang.
I just waited till we had a break in gigs coming up and told the bandleader. He took it rough but understood. I thought a month was enough for them to replace me but did end up playing two gigs before i was free

It ended good thou and the bandleader and i still talk and are on good terms.

H2ODog · #14 09-01-2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Here are a couple of links you may want to check out:
Quitting
Giving notice

Thank's Stumbo, will check it out.

BigOldHarry · #15 09-01-2009, 11:50 AM

Just be professional.

But ask yourself - how much time is this group taking? If you have worked up a set list and only gig - then why not just do the gigs, take the $$ and find other work? This isn't like a marriage - it's a band.

BillMason · #16 09-01-2009, 11:50 AM

Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You dont need to be coy, Roy, just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You dont need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.

ryco · #17 09-01-2009, 11:54 AM

If ya go out like a pro it further enhances your rep as a pro!!
You never know when you're gonna need a reference in the future!!

Good job, man - you'll find something more suited to what you wanna do!

Just curious: you don't like surf music??? "...and may you never hear surf music again!"

H2ODog · #18 09-01-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryco

If ya go out like a pro it further enhances your rep as a pro!!
You never know when you're gonna need a reference in the future!!

Good job, man - you'll find something more suited to what you wanna do!

Just curious: you don't like surf music??? "...and may you never hear surf music again!"

I like it but miss playing rock and hearing vocals, plus this group of guys are just not a good fit for me.

H2ODog · #19 09-01-2009, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillMason

Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You dont need to be coy, Roy, just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You dont need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.

Classic Bill!

RONQUITO · #20 09-01-2009, 12:15 PM

Very good advice everyone, honesty worked for me once, i was in a metal band with weird tunings and at some point, i knew i wasn´t happy. Talked about it with the guys, and they even thanked me for the time i was with them, not to toot my own horn but i helped to tighten up the rythm section, worked with the first singer to the point that he admitted he wasn´t cutting it and that led to getting the actual one (a very good one that fits their style perfectly) and made a little arrangement here and there on some old material. We´re very good friends to this day and i try to attend to all of their concerts.

The part about the OP fakin his own death was pure gold