Ignorance vs. Education-Guitards don't always play guitar!

Beginner Bass · #1 01-07-2010, 03:49 PM

At our MS jazz band, there's this one trumpet player who we know we have all met. Hardly ever knows what he's talking about, acts like a jackass for the sake of being a jackass, and, you guessed it, thinks his band's bassist (Me) sucks. Of course he's the only one. He has the generic stereotype that everything on bass is easy and that anyone could play it. Normally I would just go into my mind and poke fun at him while watching him be dipped into a fire, with the safe confirmation that he's completely wrong like every other "All-bass-is-easy" moron. But for some reason it just doesn't cut it with him. The thing that really set me off was we had a newtrombone who had just got here. Before he could even get his name out, the trumpet player spouts off that I'm a crappy bassist. This truly set me over the edge. It's possible I'm just overreacting and should just not care about what this idiot says, but just something about him surpasses the norm into a new level of annoyance. Now I have trouble enjoying my favorite class of the day because of him. Does anyone have any way to stop this before I snap his neck?

[/rant]

powellmacaque · #2 01-07-2010, 03:52 PM

If you're buds with the rest of the band, just have them change keys in the middle of a song while he's soloing. Always worked with me when the cocky singers tried telling me how to play.

nortonrider · #3 01-07-2010, 03:55 PM

There is no other choice......you must snap his neck.

MKoby · #4 01-07-2010, 03:55 PM

Try to ignore the offending agent.

If you let him really piss you off he has become significant.
He probably is not an important factor in the world in any way.
Treat him as such.

DudeistMonk · #5 01-07-2010, 03:57 PM

You could...

A) Hand him your bass and say, "Okay then, GO!" and watch him fumble with bass clef and fret-buzz every note.

B) Learn his parts on bass and mockingly double his lines after songs....and if he is second trumpet learn the first trumpet parts, that will really piss him off.

C) Use your axe like an axe.

D) Micturate in his trumpet.

Tylerrr51 · #6 01-07-2010, 04:02 PM

Next time he says anything shove his trumpet up where the sun dont shine

Thunderthumbs73 · #7 01-07-2010, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beginner Bass

At our school jazz band, there's this one trumpet player who we know we have all met. Hardly ever knows what he's talking about, acts like a jackass for the sake of being a jackass, and, you guessed it, thinks his band's bassist (Me) sucks. Of course he's the only one. He has the generic stereotype that everything on bass is easy and that anyone could play it. Normally I would just go into my mind and poke fun at him while watching him be dipped into a fire, with the safe confirmation that he's completely wrong like every other "All-bass-is-easy" moron. But for some reason it just doesn't cut it with him. The thing that really set me off was we had a newtrombone who had just got here. Before he could even get his name out, the trumpet player spouts off that I'm a crappy bassist. This truly set me over the edge. It's possible I'm just overreacting and should just not care about what this idiot says, but just something about him surpasses the norm into a new level of annoyance. Now I have trouble enjoying my favorite class of the day because of him. Does anyone have any way to stop this before I snap his neck?

[/rant]

Talk to the teacher. Talk to the teacher. And talk to the teacher. Right????

NickMarinelli · #8 01-07-2010, 04:29 PM

Ignore him; he is doing this precisely to get you to react. Once he figures out that he isn't going to get a reaction from you, he'll move on to someone else. Then, if he does it to enough of your fellow bandmates, eventually he'll be shunned and he'll leave of his own accord.

Or, you could simply slather some superglue on his mouthpiece and enjoy the show.

Admiral Axtell · #9 01-07-2010, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickMarinelli

Ignore him; he is doing this precisely to get you to react. Once he figures out that he isn't going to get a reaction from you, he'll move on to someone else. Then, if he does it to enough of your fellow bandmates, eventually he'll be shunned and he'll leave of his own accord.

Or, you could simply slather some superglue on his mouthpiece and enjoy the show.

I like the part about the superglue.

fdeck · #10 01-07-2010, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by powellmacaque

If you're buds with the rest of the band, just have them change keys in the middle of a song while he's soloing. Always worked with me when the cocky singers tried telling me how to play.

A bit of excess syncopation would do the trick too. Don't ever let on that you're doing it for his education.

Nagrom · #11 01-07-2010, 06:29 PM

A bit of beer in the trumpet with a potato chaser should do the trick. Works best when he's blowing a nice long single note to the sun.

TortillaChip520 · #12 01-07-2010, 06:35 PM

ask him how many famous/modern bands have a trumpet player that anybody gives an eff about.

Jazz Ad · #13 01-07-2010, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TortillaChip520

ask him how many famous/modern bands have a trumpet player that anybody gives an eff about.

Well there's one.
Oh, wait...

Rocky · #14 01-07-2010, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DudeistMonk

You could...

A) Hand him your bass and say, "Okay then, GO!" and watch him fumble with bass clef and fret-buzz every note.

B) Learn his parts on bass and mockingly double his lines after songs....and if he is second trumpet learn the first trumpet parts, that will really piss him off.

C) Use your axe like an axe.

D) Micturate in his trumpet.

I think all of these are great suggestions!

REAPER52 · #15 01-07-2010, 06:51 PM

Have you tried to talk to him about this.Thats the first thing i would. That would at least give him a way out .Then in your case i might speak to the teacher of the class,although i dont really think that would do any good. then i would just wait out side for him and say to him we are going to but this problem to rest ,how would you like to do it.

BassPsyche · #16 01-07-2010, 06:54 PM

Who else besides me looked up "Micturate"?

jmattbassplaya · #17 01-07-2010, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DudeistMonk

You could...

A) Hand him your bass and say, "Okay then, GO!" and watch him fumble with bass clef and fret-buzz every note.

B) Learn his parts on bass and mockingly double his lines after songs....and if he is second trumpet learn the first trumpet parts, that will really piss him off.

C) Use your axe like an axe.

D) Micturate in his trumpet.

E) Defecate in his bell. He`ll LOVE that!