I mean a really, really, really, really small-time celebrity.
I don't know if I have 10 fans, or maybe 20. I'm never going to be big. I'm never going to have money. They won't put me on Wikipedia; I'll never be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame; Rolling Stone will never write an article about me; I'll most likely go to my grave without so much as kissing another woman besides my wife. (God willing)
I was fired from my "other" band a few days ago. When they set out, they had a guy in mind. He's a pretty good bass player, with a lot more experience than me. Plays some fancy seven string bass. He bowed out of their project because of legal troubles, based on his out of control alcoholism, and they said they needed a bass player on facebook, so I told them I was interested.
I nailed all the songs in the first set, and I had a little trouble with some of the ones they were saying we may or may not be doing in the other sets. I think I would've gotten them. They were right to worry about whether I'd nail Kansas and Motorhead, and whatever else they were going to play. I like to play music I'm into, but I would've tried my hardest to play some stuff I'm really not into, and the Kansas, I almost had.
What really happened is, the original guy quit drinking, told everybody he's going to get his stuff together now, and he would like to be in, and they said, "sure."
What they told me happened is, I just don't have the skill set they need, and they're trying some guys out.
Again, there IS question as to whether I'm the best fit. However, he was in BEFORE I was told, and the deal about "trying some guys out," was a flat out LIE, and I'm not someone you can actually lie to, because I'm not stupid.
My time is golden; my main band is stepping things up right now; I didn't like some of the songs on their set list, (a LOT of the songs on their set list,) and they are missing a lot regarding look and performance. It's almost a relief that I'm out, and I'm cool with it.
Today, my main band worked "The Chain," by Fleetwood Mac, and I'm telling you, that song will be fantastic. We have played "Whipping Post" at our last two shows, and today we really woodshedded it together, and it's in the final stages of becoming one of our very best songs.
Creatively, I'm digging it. I turned fifty in July, and to celebrate, I posted a nude photo shoot on facebook. It was tasteful, and I got a lot of positive attention from it, and I used one of the photos as my profile shot. Today, I changed it out with a photo from Meet the Music, a show I did on the radio a while back. I was shocked with the number of "likes" that photo got, so I asked WHY, and I got that I looked happy and natural, and that was my best look.
It's not a rockstar pic. It's not a macho pose. It's not anything. It's just me.
I will continue to toil as a small-time cover band player in my local market, and I will continue to write songs, and play them where and when I can. If I can record some stuff, I'll be happy. If I can play a good show, I'll be happy.
I am a celebrity to a VERY small group of people who enjoy whatever limited amount of talent I do have, and not because I have some amazing gift to share with the multitudes. I'm not going to be the posterboy for American Idol. I'm not going to get a fat, lucrative record contract from A&M Records. I'm probably not going to quit my day job.
Here is my short list of accomplishments, that qualify me as a celebrity. Some are minor brushes with actual celebrities, and shouldn't be on the list,* but hey, make your own list, pal.
- Had stage fright at 17, and was told I suck by most of my peers
- Managed to make it back onstage at the Country House Talent Show in the village of Medicine Lake, in Plymouth, Minnesota
- Had a tepid reception there six or seven times, and then won the show, beating out a killingly good blind harmonica playing hot chick, and the song I performed was American Pie
- Made a CD, and had it played on local radio, college radio, and sold in Sam Goode and Best Buy stores, including a little "listening post," with our picture on it. Sold a few hundred copies!
- Opened Ribfest for Little River Band, without playing a single cover
- Once had a guy from Three Dog Night tell me I was "good" in Salt Like City, Utah
- Waited on Mick Fleetwood* in Boulder Colorado
- Had a cable TV show that I wrote and produced, back in Minneapolis
- Here in Fort Wayne, I have played a lot of the same venues that any of the other "name" (local) bands have played; have been featured in print, on TV, and on radio
- MOST IMPORTANT: My YouTube channel has thousands and thousands of views, and I am POPULAR IN FINLAND.
I have to be happy with the celebrity status I have achieved, because there is a chance that this is it! I may not go any further! But I'm going to tell you all a little secret of success that may surprise you, and that you should keep in mind at all times:
If your goal was to be a singer, musician, artist, entertainer, or something like that, and you have made even ONE person happy, or moved them in some way with your efforts, then you are a success.
My name is Richard, and I'm a celebrity.
No autographs, please.