The infamous "This is MY band' thread

Michelob_64 · #1 10-27-2008, 02:18 PM

Any one care to share stories of over jealous ogres claiming that any & all band business is conducted thru them??

In my case it is someone picking out the music in the set lists, taking care of the booking & PA rental, hiring & firing of band members, etc. Sweet arrangement ... if it really worked!!

Only problems are that he's not booking replacement player auditions and he just deep sixed our only gig for the year by getting into a verbal argument with the owner. All the gigs we've had were not booked by him, etc.

Care to share if you dare!!

MatticusMania · #2 10-27-2008, 03:47 PM

So in my 3 piece rock band years back both myself and the guitarist wrote the songs. We each had a different approach, but it was working. The thing is, most of "my" songs were written in jam sessions with the band and built upon from there. The guitarist chose to write songs on his own time and introduce them to the band when they were finished. We worked this way for 3 years, no problems. Until one day he gets pissy and says that I'm trying to take over the band. Apparently, to him, I had started writing all of the music, even though a good majority of the tunes were written by him. Also, he didn't like the "direction" that the drummer and I had started writing in, meaning that he was jealous that "my" songs were better. As a side note, I never considered the songs that I had written to by "my" songs. As far as I knew they were the bands songs, that I happened to sing on... he quit a month later via myspace comment.

StyleOverShow · #3 10-28-2008, 08:32 PM

Thin line between 'talented' and just F 'ing crazy. Have worked with some really great musicians/artists who were very good with people too. They managed the band, kept the peace, distributed the goodies and kept the audience happy and by extension the venue owners, etc. They are the talented ones.

The crazy came is a club band, Lou Rappo and the Flickers, back in the day. Lou was out of NJ, the drummer, had a hammer snare and not a bad right foot as I recall. He sang with his girl friend, Barbara, from Philly. To get her attention during a solo when she was playing a cowbell or tamborine, he would throw a drum stick at her head. it was hilarious! He was an Alpha Male type leader and would take a little extra for himself, being the leader and all and would mildly threaten anyone who challenged him on anything. I left with the KB and guitarist to join another 'talented' band "Freddie's Snow Job", featuring Freddie Snow.

chaosMK · #4 10-29-2008, 10:10 AM

The guitarist and I have butted heads many times over the writing. I work stuff out in parts with the band, building consensus along the way, then we work together to link stuff together. He goes home and comes back with "The New Song," fully written. The New Song usually goes nowhere because the rest of us werent a part of it. We are a three piece instrumental band right now.

Guitarist does the graphics, did a lot of the web stuff initially, scheduled the studio time, helped grow the myspace. So for a while, he was strutting around doing the "This is my band thing." He even put himself as the producer of the last album without consulting the rest of us (he didn't "produce" anything!). I think once when he was drunk, he said "I am the band." The whole band being his burnt him out for a while, and he took a 2 month hiatus around this time last year.

I do the booking, push the band to do the more technical stuff (I'll spend hours with the drummer until he's fluid in whatever time sig), and am generally the bottom line in rehearsal. This frustrates the guitarist to no end and he thinks I'm a tyrant now. I might be a little, but that's what it takes to get a band to do bass-driven music.

Michelob_64 · #5 10-29-2008, 12:08 PM

To give you a little more history, back during the band's formation, he informed everyone that he was in charge of booking, we just had to show up & play, it was his band he'd take care of everything. However, out of all of the shows that were played, none were booked by him what so ever. This has caused several people to exit the band due to lack of work and not much prospect for additional shows. His idea of promoting is dropping off a CD & a business card, then hoping they call him with a gig offer. It has been rumored from other people that venues have offered gigs to him in fact one person said they were practically thrown them into his lap but he hasn't called any of them back.

Additionally, after an extremely weird/bad night back in July, the former drummer wanted to quit. But he was willing to finish up gigs until we got someone in place, let us continue to practice in his basement and even try out drummers ... all in his basement. The infamous "this is my band ... he can't quit ... I'll fire his a**!" statement was uttered from the singer's mouth much to the protests of other band members. Subsequently, we ended up with no place to play, no drummer at all, canceled shows, and still 3 months later we have no permanent drummer and one of the guitarists is leaving for greener pastures at the first of the year.

The straw that I think will break the camel's back came late last week. We had a verbal agreement with a bar for $500 for a one night gig. The bar got nervous at the lack of activity on our MySpace calendar and called the singer to say they were changing things. They offered $300 in guaranteed $$ and anything above $300 collected at the door we got all of it. We talked about it, came to the agreement that we'd do it & use the event to promote to other venues, etc. Less than 24 hours later, we got a text saying the gig was off. That was followed by an email telling us he got into a verbal argument with the ower to the point they told him to forget playing there ... ever!! His "it's my band" attitude came out & no one was going to dictate what we get paid, etc. Subsequently we lost our only gig for the remainder of the year and more than likely the rest of the band members.

In retrospect, after talking to the bar owner I understood her position. She was very cordial in explaining things but our singer was having no part of listening.

Okay rant over ... stupid singers, lol

mutedeity · #6 10-30-2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michelob_64

Any one care to share stories of over jealous ogres claiming that any & all band business is conducted thru them??

In my case it is someone picking out the music in the set lists, taking care of the booking & PA rental, hiring & firing of band members, etc. Sweet arrangement ... if it really worked!!

Only problems are that he's not booking replacement player auditions and he just deep sixed our only gig for the year by getting into a verbal argument with the owner. All the gigs we've had were not booked by him, etc.

Care to share if you dare!!

I see it like this. I am guessing you are a covers band so it's not like anyone's creativity is at stake here. If you aren't getting the work you want out of it you have two choices, move on to something else, or take some initiative and offer to help with the bookings and arranging replacements.

If the guy refuses your help then you know it's time to move on anyway. If this stuff is beyond you, or you can't manage it for whatever reason, you really have nothing to complain about, do you?

ERIC31 · #7 11-02-2008, 03:11 PM

I had to deal with the dreaded LSD (lead singers disease). In a band I started and my brother (the drummer) named. All was fine (so it seemed) for almost 6 months before the cracks started. Eventually I ended up leaving the band about a year in (I was having some marriage problems at the time and let control of the band slip). Due to the singers overwhelming ego and arrogance, he ended up alienating other bands, people in the scene and the band went down the tubes from there eventually breaking up. He was hated by most people. Then about 3 years later had the nerve to have a "reunion" show with only him and the guitarist plus some other guys filling in. Pathetic.

nun lover · #8 11-03-2008, 05:39 AM

the situation i'm in now kinda forces me to do everything because really i'm the only one who seems to want to. i don't want to be "that guy" but it's frustrating when your bandmates lack any enthusiasm or motivation. it's not like we're raking leaves or shoveling snow, this is supposed to be fun. i would be very happy if those responsibilities were shared.

bronzehydra · #9 11-03-2008, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nun lover

the situation i'm in now kinda forces me to do everything because really i'm the only one who seems to want to. i don't want to be "that guy" but it's frustrating when your bandmates lack any enthusiasm or motivation. it's not like we're raking leaves or shoveling snow, this is supposed to be fun. i would be very happy if those responsibilities were shared.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm the only one with any enthusiasm, authority, and balls for that matter. I'm always the only one interacting with the crowd, telling people to come to practice, telling the other people to PRACTICE at a rehearsal, and trying to keep things good between band members.

The bands I've been in have always been good, but never made it any farther than performing for a small group, and winning small battle of the bands. The lead guitarist and I are always in the same group, it's almost wrong if we're not. And I feel bad, but we always consider the bands we start to be "ours" and so we choose the set lists and stuff. The other band members don't usually care, but it's normally at practice when the singer gets all pissy because we're playing louder than him when things go bad.