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06-14-2009, 06:34 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: northern virginia | | | inner band relationships
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the band i am currently in (quite possibly leaving) uses a girl for vox well previously before she was brought into the band her and our lead guitarist had dated multiple times (gag) a few weeks ago he decided that his happiness aka(get wet) was more improtant than the bands number one rule no inner band dating. once confronted about it he used the ploy of why dont people want me to be happy and the usual sob story. since this time practices have almost no purpose its me our drummer and our rhythem playing while they sneak off and do god knows what.the three of us are tired of it but i am the only one who is to the point of leaving. am i right to feel this way, hes basically wasting the last 3 years of dirt and grind weve put into this
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gassing for a marcus miller V, pre 80's fender, fender jaguar, pre 80's ric. pm me if your selling any of the above. Stephens City VA= absolute zero musically
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06-14-2009, 06:45 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: WI | | | Happy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLowB  the band i am currently in (quite possibly leaving) uses a girl for vox well previously before she was brought into the band her and our lead guitarist had dated multiple times (gag) a few weeks ago he decided that his happiness aka(get wet) was more improtant than the bands number one rule no inner band dating. once confronted about it he used the ploy of why dont people want me to be happy and the usual sob story. since this time practices have almost no purpose its me our drummer and our rhythem playing while they sneak off and do god knows what.the three of us are tired of it but i am the only one who is to the point of leaving. am i right to feel this way, hes basically wasting the last 3 years of dirt and grind weve put into this |
Happy, what the hell is that. If he wants to be happy he should go work in a pie shop.
Does your guitarist understand that ever since the Yoko Ono disaster that by State Law there is to be no inner band dating?
Seriously, I ain't sleeping with nobody that I'm playing with. Takes the fun out of it for everyone.
Last edited by bluewine : 06-14-2009 at 06:50 PM.
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06-14-2009, 07:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Halifax, NS, Canada | | Why not fix her up with that sound tech who thinks guitar should be louder than bass?  |
06-14-2009, 07:13 PM
| | | Someone in the band who is not pulling their weight--or otherwise wasting your time--is a problem, regardless of the cause.
If you're ready to walk, there's no downside to making an issue of it. If it ain't fun, what's the point (unless you're making megabux)?
Though there is a possible upside, and Fleetwood Mac made a career of it. Half the fun of watching their main lineup live is to watch the sparks and hate looks between Nicks and Buckingham as they sing songs of betrayal to each other. Tell the gp if he can pull off that kind of songwriting and performance, you'll wait a couple for him to finish.  |
06-14-2009, 07:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: northern virginia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDavid Why not fix her up with that sound tech who thinks guitar should be louder than bass? | because i punched him in the face about 7 months ago breakig my hand haha definate win.
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gassing for a marcus miller V, pre 80's fender, fender jaguar, pre 80's ric. pm me if your selling any of the above. Stephens City VA= absolute zero musically
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06-14-2009, 07:37 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: northern virginia | | | like this year weve done almost 80 shows and thats after 3 years of extensive labor and local work, and hes like **** you all im gonna go get wet and spread my stds around (another reason i wish to leave)
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gassing for a marcus miller V, pre 80's fender, fender jaguar, pre 80's ric. pm me if your selling any of the above. Stephens City VA= absolute zero musically
Last edited by Thor : 06-17-2009 at 10:02 AM.
Reason: Uncovered profanity
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06-14-2009, 08:57 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Massachusetts USA | | | I've been in a relationship with my band's singer for a few months now, and it hasn't been a problem at all. The key is to keep the band relationship and the relationship relationship separate.
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Originally Posted by hover Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree. | |
06-14-2009, 09:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fargo, ND | | | We had our rythm guitarist's girlfriend do some vocals on a recording. It didn't go incredibly well. She sounded pretty good, but they kept showing up late. There's a reason why we don't do that song live.
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Originally Posted by McHaven My girlfriend hates it, so I'd like to order one as soon as possible | |
06-14-2009, 09:08 PM
|  | Lone Wolf and Renagade Miner | | | | One should never poo where one eats!
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Taking a break from it all!
In search of warm cookies.
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06-14-2009, 09:19 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Madison, WI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by WashburnBasser The key is to keep the band relationship and the relationship relationship separate. | That's obviously not happening here.
Don't dip your pen in company ink. |
06-14-2009, 11:32 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Bend, Oregon | | Well, I'd say tell em what you think and bail. If his attitude is "eff you all" then there's not much point in staying.
Side note: I will never date bandmates, they are like family to me and I definately don't date family. |
06-15-2009, 12:28 AM
|  | Relic'd by life™ | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles CA SoCal | | | Why are they meeting during rehearsal? Why can't they meet on all the other days of the week? |
06-15-2009, 12:47 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Diamond Bar, CA | | | The band ALWAYS comes first during practice. We yell at each other from time to time, but we keep our friendship out of it. I'm not on such good terms with my drummer, but we stick to the task at hand.
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06-15-2009, 09:18 AM
|  | Registered User
Endorsing artist: Carvin, Micheal Kelly Guitars | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Austin, Tx. | | | Once while on tour I was talking with Peter Tosh & since he has women on his albums, I asked why they weren't on tour(he used The Tamlins, 3 guys for background vox). He said "Dem cause too much trouble with de band & dem want too many tings on de road." Wisdom from Peter. |
06-15-2009, 09:26 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Greenville, NC USA | | | Dating is one thing, but running off to get it on during practice is another issue all together. Just lay it on the line. Tell him that his "being happy" is great, but NOT on band time. Either they BOTH focus on work during band time, or you split. Besides, they will break up soon anyway, and after that, there will be NO band, because one of them will have to go. Then the rest of you will have to choose sides. And THAT never works out. Your your band is pretty much screwed, UNLESS you can keep them together AND sticking to work during work time. I hope I'm wrong about all this. Good luck.
P.S. If you go back and look at your OP, you will see that it is one big run-on sentence for the most part. Capital letters and punctuation really don't take all that much effort. And not using them kind of makes you come across as a 13 year old. If you ARE 13, then I apologize, and carry on. If you are NOT, then start using your "big" letters and dots and whatnot. Just trying to help.
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Last edited by two fingers : 06-15-2009 at 09:30 AM.
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06-15-2009, 09:42 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: North Wales | | | haha, I've seen this before. I work for a PA company, so my job is stage technician, point mics at stuff, ocasionally onstage monitoring. We had a band through our venue who are fairly well liked, but not massively. The guitarist and bassist decided that they didn't want to be miced up, because they were louder than the PA. they'd mix the sound from where they were, and the audience would have to suffer the volume wars (you know, your own amp firing under your knees at the other person, they're in the same situation, recuring "i need to be louder" happens)
So basically, after much deliberation we miced them up, but put nothing throug thier monitors, the other 3 in the band were fine, and asked politely for a monitor mix. the guitarist and bassist couldn't understand why they were out of time...
After the band had left, the bassist came in and apologised for her behaviour, and also apologised on behalf of her boyfriend, the guitarist...
basically, she was following his lead, and he was an absolute [profanity here]
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Team Trace Elliot #112 | Bassist With a Beard #54 | British Bassist Club #6
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06-15-2009, 09:44 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Dunbar, West Virginia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Moe Monsarrat "Dem cause too much trouble with de band & dem want too many tings on de road." | Amen Brother Tosh
In one band with a married couple. They could not separate personal from business.
Another band with a woman keyboard player. Originally she 'lived with' the keyboard player she eventually replaced and later two other members of the existing band. Very 'messy' situation.
Then, the same woman keyboard player, three years later, became the personal agent of another band I was in and 'lived with' one of its members. Weird.
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Last edited by etoncrow : 06-15-2009 at 10:42 AM.
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06-15-2009, 09:49 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: SOUTHEAST, KY | | | I am married to our singer / guitarist & this has never posed a problem.
We keep the band ALL BUSINESS.
NO PDA WITHIN THE BAND PERIOD! |
06-15-2009, 12:30 PM
| | Relic'd by life™ | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles CA SoCal | | Quote:
Originally Posted by two fingers Dating is one thing, but running off to get it on during practice is another issue all together. | Maybe one (or both) already have significant others and are using "rehearsal" time to have an affair. |
06-15-2009, 03:12 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: northern virginia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by two fingers P.S. If you go back and look at your OP, you will see that it is one big run-on sentence for the most part. Capital letters and punctuation really don't take all that much effort. And not using them kind of makes you come across as a 13 year old. If you ARE 13, then I apologize, and carry on. If you are NOT, then start using your "big" letters and dots and whatnot. Just trying to help. | haha that made me laugh, im not 13 im doing this on a blackberry puncuation is not key when your keyboard is as big as a playing card
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gassing for a marcus miller V, pre 80's fender, fender jaguar, pre 80's ric. pm me if your selling any of the above. Stephens City VA= absolute zero musically
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