Just got a call from my Guitarist...

joebingo · #1 03-30-2009, 08:06 PM

And He and the Drummer of my band have both decided to leave.

To be fair, this has been a long time coming, through no fault of any one of us. They had been going for a good few years before I joined and, through various line up changes and not very many set changes, I guess that this band has become rather stale to them. We (the Guitarist and I) had a pretty long talk about all things band related a couple of nights ago and he did air some concerns, though I didn't think it would result in this, espescially not this soon after our chat.

It's come as quite a shock to me, as this has been the first band that I was in which really seemed to be making any sort of headway in terms of the gigs we played, and the things we did. My first and only band with national radio play, some quite large gigs up and down the country. It's been a band that I have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of. The sound, in my opinion, worked really well. The people in the band are people that I really get along with and we work really well together.

There have been some problems recently, a number of bad(ly played) gigs, and one pretty big argument which nearly ended in a physical fight, though this has since been resolved, apparently.

So perhaps it's because of a sustained level of tension, perhaps it's because there are songs in the set which are 10+ years old. I don't know, but there has almost certainly been a feeling of flogging a dead horse in my Guitarist's and Drummer's minds for a while.

We're meeting up tomorrow for a face to face, the good thing is that they've both expressed a wish to continue working with me. I'll let you know how it goes.

Jared Lash · #2 03-30-2009, 08:20 PM

Always a bummer.

Is the band going to be done then? Or do the rest of you plan on auditioning a new guitarist and drummer? If it's the latter, be upfront (and careful) about working on a new project with your old guitar player and drummer as it could lead to some bad blood with the remaining members of your old band.

The only other thing I'd say is this. If the drummer and guitarist are intent on leaving, I wouldn't use the face-to-face to try and convince them to change their minds. Because if the underlying issues aren't resolved, you'll likely just go through this same thing again in a month or two.

Here's to hoping things work out for you.

Lazylion · #3 03-30-2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joebingo

...And he and the Drummer of my band have both decided to leave.
...the good thing is that they've both expressed a wish to continue working with me.

So what are they wanting to get rid of? The repertoire? The other people in the band?

joebingo · #4 03-30-2009, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazylion

So what are they wanting to get rid of? The repertoire? The other people in the band?

Both of the above, I think. I'll find out for sure tomorrow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBigO

Always a bummer.

Is the band going to be done then? Or do the rest of you plan on auditioning a new guitarist and drummer? If it's the latter, be upfront (and careful) about working on a new project with your old guitar player and drummer as it could lead to some bad blood with the remaining members of your old band.

Seeing as they're really the driving force, musically, behind the band. I can't realy see the band continuing without them.

Quote:

The only other thing I'd say is this. If the drummer and guitarist are intent on leaving, I wouldn't use the face-to-face to try and convince them to change their minds.

Obviously the thought had crossed my mind, but I know that they wouldn't make this decision on the spur of the moment.

Quote:

Because if the underlying issues aren't resolved, you'll likely just go through this same thing again in a month or two.

I have a feeling that this is the crux of the problem. Things probably haven't been particularly out in the open between us all, just because I don't have anything more to say on certain matters, doesn't mean that there aren't things still to be said by other members. We have/had a practise booked for Friday, hopefully we can all keep this time free to meet up and have a meeting, if not rehearse.

Quote:

Here's to hoping things work out for you.

Thanks man.

Lazylion · #5 03-30-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joebingo

Seeing as they're really the driving force, musically, behind the band. I can't realy see the band continuing without them.

Would it be feasible to sack everyone else and keep these two? How many others are there?

QORC · #6 03-31-2009, 04:54 AM

There is no point in really trying to convince people to stay who really want to leave. You are just postponing the inevitable. Move on. Replace them or find another band for yourself. It's been my experience that when people are not happy in a band situation-- and threaten to quit frequently--they end up doing it anyway.

runmikeyrun · #7 03-31-2009, 08:02 PM

i just split with the original guitarist and 2nd drummer (8 years) to find a new guitard and drummer. Similar situation- had some really old songs still in the rotation and poor performances. Had some issues with both that i felt were the reason we had a deal for a cd and we couldn't write any new songs or come to practice regularly. One guy didn't want to come to practice because of the other guy, and the other guy was mad because the first guy didn't want to practice! There were some serious attitude and performance issues as well that led to the development of a lot of bad blood. I finally realized it was irrepairable, so i split, kept the name and the contract, and have two new players. Both are dedicated and we are writing music for another album.

I wasted 2 years trying to give pep talks and convince people why we needed to get our sh!t together and get some music written. It never happened. I am a firm believer that some behaviors never change, they only get worse. That's what happened in our case. I should have cut my losses back then and moved on, i'd have an album out by now!

Ask them if you can keep the name and move on without them, unless they plan on just replacing you. No reason to just throw it all away if you don't have to. Starting all the way back at the beginning SUCKS!

Lazylion · #8 04-01-2009, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joebingo

Both of the above, I think. I'll find out for sure tomorrow.

So Joe! What happened?

joebingo · #9 10-20-2009, 12:29 PM

Sorry I completely forgot about this thread.

Thought I'd update with what has come out of this situation.

We've decided to basically carry on with the same group of people sans the female vocalist and adding another guitarist to the mix. The old guitarist and drummer basically decided to leave, not only because of tensions but also because they had just had enough of the songs.

So we are now working under a different name and with all new songs. We've got a few gigs booke already and are appaering on a couple of radio shows coming up soon. Quite exciting really.

Click here if you wanna check it out

S.B. · #10 10-20-2009, 01:55 PM

Really like your sound, especially Someone Said. Nice bass playing !
Good Luck.

Lazarus12 · #11 10-20-2009, 04:40 PM

Agreed! Sexy bass tone, its sounds incredibly smooth

And the guitar is very Santana-ish. Really really love it

Stumbo · #12 10-20-2009, 07:32 PM

+1 on bass playing
+1 on "Someone Said"

joebingo · #13 10-22-2009, 10:07 AM

Thanks for the comments guys, espescially about the playing. It means a lot coming from people on here

I'm very excited about this band, we've had a lot of positive feedback already and are currently negotiating a couple of weeks gigging out in LA next summer (should I bring 2 basses, or one and a soldering iron?). I'm beginning to wonder why the break up of the last band didn't happen sooner, what a difference time can make, eh?

Wyrm74 · #14 10-22-2009, 04:13 PM

Wow! I really like the tunes! What a fun sound you have discovered. Good luck to you.

jaywa · #15 10-22-2009, 05:54 PM

I was in a similar situation once, but on the other side. I.e., we were a 4-man band and the singer, the guitarist and myself felt like the drummer was holding us back (and there had been a huge blowup in a rehearsal between the singer and the drummer). But none of us wanted to come right out and fire the drummer (especially me, cause he was my roommate at the time).

So basically we called a meeting and told the drummer we were disbanding... and then a few weeks later the three of us started auditioning drummers (on the sly due to my living situation which made things very tense and awkward I must say). We never found another drummer that was the right fit and so the band actually did wind up breaking up... but my point is that whenever a couple of guys in a band (especially the founding and/or senior members) say they're quitting, it may not be so much a matter of them quitting as it is them "firing" the rest of the band in a backhanded way. You especially know that was the case if the guys who quit are right back out there a couple months later in another band.

In your case (OP) it sounds like things worked out for everyone and that's all you can hope for in a situation like that.

joebingo · #16 11-19-2009, 08:48 AM

Just a quick update to let you know that it's our first gig tonight! Wish me luck!

oerk · #17 11-19-2009, 09:24 AM

Good luck!

And, like everyone else already said, you guys sound great!

Rocker949 · #18 11-20-2009, 07:27 AM

I just saw this. How did the gig go?

AltGrendel · #19 11-20-2009, 10:28 AM

Good luck and don't forget to update your sig.

joebingo · #20 11-22-2009, 01:23 PM

Cheers guys.

The gig went fantastically, though I'd forgotten the nerves a first gig with a new band could bring! Can't wait for teh next ones coming up hehe.

Sig updated