Just got fired...and I'm so happy.
 

Yes, this is long, but I am so happy!

In my area I am generally a hired gun. In October a band that I played with regularly a few years ago had reformed and contacted me asking if I was interested in a Halloween gig and a New Years gig that both payed VERY well. I said "sure" and we scheduled a practice. These guy had not played together in over three years. I had no idea that they had not played at all in the three years. We agreed on a setlist from the last time we played togther, which consisted of pretty easy Texas Country songs. At the practice before the first gig, the guitarist had no idea what his parts were, played the songs metal style, and had crap tone. The drummer could not find the "1" to save his life. He was on a cocktail of Dr. prescribed anti-depressants, pain killers and god knows what else. He played the same beat to EVERY song and could not pull off a roll or a fill and come back in on time. The Singer, was actually better than that when we last played because he had stopped drinking. The practice was a disaster. If you have ever watched "Slingblade", the band in that move sounded exponentially tighter. They all vowed to practice at home and that they were just rusty. Everything would be up to par for the gig which was two weeks away.

At the Halloween gig, you guess it, ther is no way that they practiced. The drummer an his wife finished a 750 ml bottle of Jack Daniels Honey on top of his Keith Moon-like Dr. prescribed cocktail, which made him play about as well as a 3 year old with no rhythm. The guitarist was using a distortion pedal that sucked all of his tone, dead strings and guitar that kept shorting out. The one redeeming factor was that the entire bar was drunk enough to think that they were great...yes, the booze were flowing.

We got together this last Saturday to practice an tighten things up. We got through 7 songs in three hours. I had to tell the drummer and the guitard their parts, even show them their parts. This was futile and I knew it. I asked if there was going to be another practice and was told no.

Today, the band leader sent an email adding 4 songs to the list that none of us had ever heard, that were not that hard, but I knew that there was no way that they could pull them off. I sent a message to him saying that he was "the most optimistic person that I know" and that "I can't see anyway that these guys are going to pull off the current setlist as well as the new songs with no further practices. You should cut your losses and keep the setlist the same and hope that they can hit their marks." He replied to me just a bit ago saying that I was the most pessimistic person that he knows and that they would find another bassist. :D

I was elated! These guys are getting $2000 for a New Years show and sound like a garage band full of deaf kids. :rollno:

I have never been so happy to be fired from a band. I was dreading showing my face with these guys after the last few get togethers. I wish them the best of luck and that the planets align and the alcohol flows at the party on New Years, or else there are gonna be some disappointed hosts.

Congrats! You should contact the venue at which they are playing and offer your last minute services with some other guys for $2500. Tell the owner to call the place you played at Halloween and then call you back.

It can't be that hard to find your own N.Y. gig surely? No need for that.

An (obviously bad) attempt at humor. I didn't expect the guy to actually try to steal a gig. It's just one of those revenge thoughts that makes you chuckle.

I thought about going to the gig just to watch the horror but that's a few hours of my life that I'll never get back...I'm just going to stay home with the wife and kids.

1 practice before a show? What kind of crap is that?

Since the vocalist is better and you didn't complain about him not knowing his parts, I suspect his singing covered for a whole lot of what you're talking about.

Also, at a gig, the venue with echo and all, cover a lot of mistakes, especially if you have a good PA.

Could have been an easy night to earn some good bucks.

I'm just sayin'....

Life is too short to make bad music.

LOL! This story rocks! I love you OP! You made my day. Also, 7 songs in 3 hours? I've had practices where only 1 song came out of 3 hours and a crap load of intros followed by a crumbling wall of sound - consider yourself luckier than some of us. Stuff like this is why I became a hobbyist at bass... :bawl:

Man, talk about some bad flashbacks.
I've been there several times.
Won't do it again.

Ouch. Congratulations on escaping that nightmare.

You have understand, these are not little mistakes. The drummer coming in on the 2 or 4 instead of the 1. Doing fills and coming back in between the beat. Inverting the beat after fills and accents...this is not easy money. The singer was the least of the problems simply because his acoustic does not cut through the mix.

Meh...$500 would buy the guy a nice mini-vacation with his wife and kids......life is too short to miss out on that, at least for me.

Maybe for the OP, the $ isn't a consideration, and I would respect that. But for me, I know the answer because I am doing exactly that this year. I agreed to play a NYE gig that is not going to be very good with a questionable band but gauranteed $ enough for me to take my wife and two young kids up to Disney world for a couple days. I'd play with 3 deaf and drunk chimpanzees for that precious good time with my family..........

Amen Brother but the pay would of been good :p

It sounds like you would have done the show if you hadn't got fired? If the first gig was that bad why take on the second? and these are guys you played with regularly years ago? I would like to know how they played before all of this happened and when you went to the first rehearsal you should have declined being involved with that mess and risk damaging your reputation.

Aw well, the world is supposed to end on the 21st anyway, LOL.:eek:

Glad yer relieved to be out of it. I probably woulda just played the gig for the dough, then quit. (Sometimes I'm still just a mercenary).

Yeah! Good thing those Mayans knew what they were doing...wait, where are those Mayans again? :p

I had something similar happen a few years ago. I was between tours and these guys called me out of the blue, sounded legit. I gave them my price and agreed to meet them for a rehearsal. As we say in the South, "Bless Their Hearts"! I think they had one set of teeth between them (guitarist had uppers, drummer lowers). It was so amazing I told a friend to come to my gig just to document this....event. The highlight of the night was when some girl who had been playing the jukebox on our breaks came over and begged, "Please don't play!". Instant band name-brilliant! I thought for a moment that the guys were SO bad it would be fun to produce a whole series of CDs on them, sort of like Jesco White.
http://www.jesconation.com/
I could see it now: "Please Don't Play The Beatles Songbook", "Please Don't Play The Blues", "Please Don't Play at The Grand Old Opry", but then my friend pointed out that the drummer was so scary and soooo serious about this he would have stalked me and killed me for producing Joke CDs on these guys. Needless to say, it was a VSOP (very special one-time performance). :D

Ya, I played with these guys regularly a few years ago and they were much better, not great, but the music was passable. When they contacted me they asked about both dates and I agreed. I knew it was a risk, but I haven't played country in a good while and, for me, it's easy money. When I make an agreement with someone, I honor it to the best of my ability. I think that I would have damaged my reputation more if I had backed out. I get a good deal of work on referrals and I'm known for getting the job done and done well. This the risk you take with being a hired gun. If you back out of gigs that you agree to, you damage your reputation. If the band sucks, you know that you fulfilled your obligation and did your best.

I play for fun, the extra money is nice, but not a necessity. I usually just end up blowing it on more gear or toys of somekind.

Seriously! Who practices! :hiding: