Lead guitarist not listening to rest of the ("jam") band. Need Help.

[soulplane83]

Hey guys

I'm growing more and more frustrated with my band and I'm hoping somebody here can relate and offer some suggestions on how to work through this...i'll give you some background.

We're a four piece rock/funk band. I hate saying we're a "jam" band but I guess we'd be lumped into that category. Our lead guitarist has been with us for maybe 3 months. The other three have been playing together for almost a year.

Our lead player is a total "head". He lives and breathes music. He's super ADD and has alot of trouble slowing down for anything. Whenever he solos, or steps out in front in some way, it never seems like he's listening to the rest of the band. It's seems more like he has all these ideas and needs to get them out, and we're just along for the ride. He's a talented and committed player and a real go-getter when it comes to promoting the band and getting gigs, but I don't feel like our group sound is growing much. It's as if his playing never "breathes"...no lyrical phrasing, just alot of ripping solos that aren't that memorable. It doesn't seem like he's interested in creating a group sound where the music ultimately transcends our egos and takes on a life of its own. Yet...when he gets high, which is frequent, he talks about wanting to play less and not be show-off and making that group sound.

At practice I suggested we try an exercise that Phish used in practice called "Including Your Own Hey" where the basic idea is two people play, while two listen, and the jam is passed around with one person dropping out and the next person joining in and "passing the jam." Well...he couldn't even listen for the 8 bars of listening. He would still be playing little licks and fills. It's starting to drive me nuts. I feel like it's a really sensitive thing to call somebody out on their playing. Can you teach somebody to listen? Can you teach restraint? I dunno....any suggestions are welcome. Thanks for reading.

SP

[paganjack]

has he ever heard himself play? that tends to put things in perspective.
but some people can't stop the wankery.

[2x4strgkramers]

Yeah some guys just need 400,000 notes at 4000 bpm for 18 minutes so they can get it all out every song.

Sorry about your luck.

[scootron]

I assume you are taping shows and practices? If not, maybe you should do so. It helped us tame one of our members.

[Adam Bomb]

I tried so hard to get the singer in my old band to listen. Or at least to stop making noises with her mouth for ten seconds, ever, on stage or off. Ever. I failed.

--Bomb

[Bass Mule]

Puppies tend to calm down if you spay or neuter them. Maybe try that?

[Jefenator]

^^^^ LOL!

It's not a good sign that the guy knows all the rhetoric, talks the talk but when the rubber hits the road, it's all about the noodling.

The best you can hope for is gradual progress. If you can somehow coax that out of him, there's hope. (I say this as a recovering noodle-aholic, who had to work up whatever tastiness I have pretty much from scratch.)

But if he nods in agreement then doesn't change, or if he makes a big stink, just get out of there. He'll be having the same conversations, same arguments, 40 years from now.