Left on the side of the road?

iplaybasstexas · #1 08-11-2008, 12:48 AM

i'm in such a mental bind :/

here's the story. Been with my band all weekend.
Supposed to have a show today.

So halfway to picking up our guitarist, the tire on MY trailer blew. We were late so they loaded up the stuff in the truck bed.
I told them that i wasn't going to leave MY trailer on the side of the road ( a highway). We got in a huge fight..not fun.
So they left without me.

Mind you, i'm not of alone driving age, nor do i have anybody with me or a vehicle besides the trailer. i live in texas, so its 110 degrees, give or take.
I had to sit out in the sun for two hours before i could get someone to bring me a truck and then another three to get a replacement tire and get home.

Anyway, the guys played the show, and i'm told they sucked without me (first show with new guitarist, no me (bassist).

so....the trailer is mine. they all use it. I work as a promoter/manager, so i do most of that type stuff for the band.

I love my band, and the music and everything...

should i let this one slide?
i'm so confused guys.

P.S. i have everything thats mine. when they loaded the truck up, they put my ampeg and my mesa and my fender in there too.
the drummer, who i was fighting with, i told him to get my stuff out of the truck. he told me do it myself. i asked him if he wanted his toms across the highway (they were on my amp). he got it out. so i have my gear except for a wireless.

GearHeadBassMan · #2 08-11-2008, 01:00 AM

its not cool, but i mean, if you guys are younger (judging from the fact you couldn't drive alone?) it's probably just nerves. they didnt want to miss the show. however, if they're all older than you, then i think its time you parted ways because if they just leave you like that its unacceptable.

Bassbasixx · #3 08-11-2008, 01:09 AM

Get your wireless back first then Look for another Band or find a new drummer nothing to be confused about hear no matter what age you guys are

+ playing with out any bass = Lame and not professional

bakeronbass · #4 08-11-2008, 01:25 AM

should i let this one slide?
i'm so confused guys.

Let it slide? Are you f in crazy dude . Left your as on the side of the road

and you want to say aw thats alright guys I should have just let someone steal my trailer for Rock and Roll.

Ow wait who is gonna steal a trailer with a flat tire?

Hard call

Nick Kay · #5 08-11-2008, 01:26 AM

There's no excuse for that. Get whatever gear they have of yours and get the hell out of there. Imagine if that happened out on tour?

EDIT: Apparently, I misread the OP. I thought the fight started while you were changing the tire - whoops. They still shouldn't have left a man behind, but you can afford to leave a disabled trailer and come back for it later if you don't have the time or means to make a repair. Just take the other tire with you. Someone might take a trailer with one tire, but no-one would take a trailer with NO tires. :P

Munjibunga · #6 08-11-2008, 01:36 AM

Maybe the question is "should they let it slide?" Who's going to go to the trouble of trying to find a wheel and tire to fit a disabled trailer so they can steal it? You chose to stay there. You ditched the gig.

nicoli · #7 08-11-2008, 01:39 AM

The show must go on... I've left a van on the side of a highway before and switched vehicles to get to a show on time. In my mind, cancelling a show for anything less than a near fatality is not an option.

John Wentzien · #8 08-11-2008, 01:49 AM

Carry an F'n spare tire for the trailer.. Are you nuts?

Sean S · #9 08-11-2008, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Wentzien

Carry an F'n spare tire for the trailer.. Are you nuts?

+100!

invader3k · #10 08-11-2008, 08:27 AM

I don't see why you couldn't just leave the trailer there. I realize you didn't want anything to happen to it, but really, if it was already disabled, what was anyone going to do with it? I don't think it was cool for your bandmates to ditch you either, though.

Finsterino · #11 08-11-2008, 08:43 AM

You should have left the trailer, since you (the owner) did not have a spare.

Beg their forgiveness, and move on. And ask for donations for a spare, since everyone uses it.

Revvv · #12 08-11-2008, 10:16 AM

Stand your ground. Get rid of the losers and find a band that can treat you like a person, not something that is disposable.

wld3 · #13 08-11-2008, 10:26 AM

Carry a spare; definitely.

Leave for pick-ups/gigs earlier so that you aren't rushed.

I'd say there's some blame you could accept here but also, ultimately, they left you on the side of the road and that's hard to take.

It would take knowing more about your relationship with them and the personalities involved to give much specific advice. Without knowing more I'd suggest talking to them about what happened and then, depending on attitudes and how that goes, decide what you want to do.

topper · #14 08-11-2008, 10:39 AM

I agree that you should have just left the trailer and gone on with the gig. But leaving you alone on the side of the highway in 110 degree weather without any clear prospect of getting picked up is putting your life at risk.

Sounds like you were all wrong. Sounds like a young, immature, somewhat dysfunctional band.

jakusx · #15 08-11-2008, 10:42 AM

Wow, people are being rather harsh. But, I can say that when I was 17, I was on the way to a gig and pretty much the exact same thing happened - except I ditched the trailer. After the gig at 4 a.m. when I swung back to my place and grabbed a spare, then returned to the scene of the blowout, my trailer was gone. And when we all decided we needed a new trailer badly, they looked to me to buy one and didn't want to help out with money.

invader3k · #16 08-11-2008, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakusx

Wow, people are being rather harsh. But, I can say that when I was 17, I was on the way to a gig and pretty much the exact same thing happened - except I ditched the trailer. After the gig at 4 a.m. when I swung back to my place and grabbed a spare, then returned to the scene of the blowout, my trailer was gone. And when we all decided we needed a new trailer badly, they looked to me to buy one and didn't want to help out with money.

Wow, so it does happen. Any idea how they managed to make off with it?

badgrandad · #17 08-11-2008, 11:13 AM

I would have stayed with the trailer if I couldn't have locked it up securely or found someone to get it. (If I were a teenaged musician). If it were really yours and you paid for it it's your decision to leave it or stay with it, but if it were your "family"s" trailer, I can't imagine the gig being worth the chance of losing the trailer. Whereas some on this forum proudly would do anything to not bust a gig, if you are just the average young-un who is playing as a hobby / side job the loss of a trailer will set you back way further then a botched gig. Your family I'm sure will think you were being responsible.

jgroh · #18 08-11-2008, 11:25 AM

How much does a new trailer cost to replace? Probably more than you were going to make at that gig (if you made anything at all). People will steal anything and depending on how big it was could have thrown it in a truck or flatbed, or saw it driving by, went somewhere and got a replacement tire to get it going.

Once me and my brother went to see the Goo Goo Dolls years before they were famous at a local club that was packed. We parked in the center of a well lit parking lot with tons of other cars and people around. He does construction so he left the 350 pound aluminum brake (that bends the aluminum) on the truck, tied up but not locked down. Came out and it was gone.

So, I would have stayed with the trailer too and if they would have left me in 110 degree heat with my gear on the side of the road, I would kick everyone of their a$$es and then move onto another band.

BassScum · #19 08-11-2008, 11:30 AM

I would move on. Staying with your trailer shows you care about your property and are responsible. They had no respect for that. Your band should have been a team and stuck together. The incident you had with the bandmates is only a sign of things to come. Use it as a lesson learned. It must have sound terrible without a bassist at the gig. My band would cancel the gig with one of our members out.

Dogbertday · #20 08-11-2008, 11:52 AM

Yeah they should have stayed and waited for someone else to get there to pick-up your trailer... they were 100% wrong in this. you never leave a friend out to dry. and if it'll be a couple hours maybe try calling and seeing if you can switch to a different time slot...

also... carry a spare