Level Of Commitment

**snowplow** · #1 03-03-2013, 08:06 PM

So I called for a band meeting to talk about what our expectations are and what needs to change to get there. I told everyone after our show the night before. One of the guys said he wasn’t coming because it was too early, then one of his guitars broke and stormed out mad (understood). I told him that he needed to be there if he cared about the band. We had stuff to straighten out and just needed an hour of his time. Low and behold, he doesn’t show. With him being a topic of some of the discussion before the no show. We decided that we needed to talk to him about what was said. We all drove to his house after lunch and got him out of bed to talk. Said everything we did at the meeting. He was kind of yeah sure about it all. He didn’t apologize for not coming and he knows the importance of our meetings. The fact that he didn’t even realize that us driving out to talk with him didn’t even register that we are for real and cared.

The lack of motivation/commitment on his part is growing. We don’t want to get comfortable with where we are at. He just isn’t pulling his own weight when it comes to practicing, getting equipment fixed for shows, putting stuff before the band. Don’t get me wrong he is an awesome player and good friend. We have another lead player that wants to join that is amazing, motivated and plays every day.

Do we give him an ultimatum with the other guitar player? Last time we jammed with the other guy it lit a fire under him. We have great lead player sitting there with all the qualities we want but are stuck because he is our friend and an original member. Tough spot... Any thoughts??

Sorry for the short story..
(band bio; we are a solid younger band, 2000+ fans, played big shows, been together over a year)

IPYF · #2 03-03-2013, 08:12 PM

Fire him. Don't even think about it any further. Here's why:

1. Guitarists grow on trees. He's not special.
2. Once a flaky b@stard always a flaky b@stard.
3. Walking out on a show is unacceptable, regardless of the issue. I'd fire him just for that.
4. Bands are for fun and he's ruining it for the rest of you, regardless of prior friendships.

Leopards don't change their spots. Cut the cord. Don't wait for him to ruin something important.

**snowplow** · #3 03-03-2013, 08:14 PM

[quote=IPYF;13971354]\3. Walking out on a show is unacceptable, regardless of the issue. I'd fire him just for that.
QUOTE]

It was after the show, to clear that up.

jaywa · #4 03-03-2013, 08:17 PM

Sounds to me like he's a lazy ass and rude besides.

He'd rather sleep than make a band meeting? That shows you where his priorities lie.

Turn him loose. It sounds like your band has enough going for it that replacing him will not be a problem.

Winfred · #5 03-03-2013, 08:38 PM

Never, EVER put up with a bad guitarist for any reason. I don't care if they're your friend, brother, or grandmother. Dump'em and move on. They are a dime per dozen.

IPYF · #6 03-03-2013, 09:22 PM

Yeah. I don't mean to harp on but as someone who's been bitten by a few people like this you need to act on him fast.

All he needs to do is not turn up for one show and you'll start turning off promoters and venues. They all talk to each other and before you know it your whole band will be in damage control.

Then you'll have to eject him and there will be no friendships left after that. At least now you can make a preemptive strike, so to speak, and there's the chance that he'll just accept it. There's even the possibility that he's trying to kick himself out; I've seen that happen before.

mellowinman · #7 03-03-2013, 09:28 PM

It sounds like you have a better guy, fit wise.

You may have to pull the trigger.

skwee · #8 03-03-2013, 09:33 PM

Sounds like it's time to introduce your new guitarist to your audience.

Edward G. · #9 03-04-2013, 04:58 AM

Thinking things are going to improve with him is pure folly. Drop him like a used rubber.

ChrisB2 · #10 03-04-2013, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaywa

He'd rather sleep than make a band meeting? That shows you where his priorities lie.

+1

IMO you missed a golden opportunity to fire him right then and there, citing his whereabouts as the "final straw." You were all there with a perfect example of the problem.... now you have to arrange another similar situation... or just send a text.

lfmn16 · #11 03-04-2013, 05:10 AM

He is not your friend. If he cared about the friendship he would pull his own weight. If you are going to "make it" whatever that means to you, this is the first in a long line of hard choices you will have to make. Might as well get started. Do you want to be the guy that everybody likes or do you want to be successful? Nobody is both.

obimark · #12 03-04-2013, 06:07 AM

Fire his ___.

Piggy8692 · #13 03-05-2013, 09:50 AM

I made my first firing in high school. He was a friend from elementary. But he didn't practice.

We eventually became friends again and even had a few casual jams after. Now, I haven't talked to him for years... Most of your friends will move on anyway.

Our band hadn't even played a show yet, so we were nothing special. You have fans to think about. Unless they are all his personal posse, you owe it to them to make your band as functional as possible.

Having other people lined up to replace him just make it that much easier... Do it.

Runnerman · #14 03-05-2013, 09:57 AM

He needs to be gone.
Clearly holding the band back at this point.

Cyborg · #15 03-05-2013, 10:04 AM

Being in a bad band situation is like being in a bad relationship. Yes, there are good times. Yes, it's not all bad. Yes, you can confront them on something and they agree to terms and promise to straighten up, etc. Sooner or later they'll go back to their old ways and you're right back where you were before.

Short Version: He ain't gonna change. So you have to determine how valuable he is to the band?

capncal · #16 03-05-2013, 10:08 AM

anytime you have to get a band member out of bed for anything band related be it practice, band meeting, etc., you might have a problem.

if they can't get up out of bed to come meet with the band, they don't really much care about it, do they?

lowfreq33 · #17 03-05-2013, 10:13 AM

What time was the meeting? If it was 8 am the morning after a gig I could maybe understand.

NYCbassist · #18 03-05-2013, 12:05 PM

I wouldn't call any musician a dime a dozen. With 2000+ fans, Something is working and working well. Heck for all we know this guitarist is the reason the fans are showing up.

Aside from that if the band agrees that he's just not working out then a new guitarist may be in order.

Richland123 · #19 03-05-2013, 12:39 PM

The other issue is that he disrespected the band and each of the other band members by not showing up and his attitude. I joined a band once where the guitar player was not as good as he thought in his head and he had a bad attitude. I told him that anybody can be replaced even me and I was the new guy anyway. I told the other band members that I would find a better guitarist with a better attitude and I did at the next rehearsal.

Depth_Charge · #20 03-05-2013, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowplow

Do we give him an ultimatum with the other guitar player? Last time we jammed with the other guy it lit a fire under him. We have great lead player sitting there with all the qualities we want but are stuck because he is our friend and an original member. Tough spot... Any thoughts??

I wouldn't even bring the other guitarist into it.

The issue is with regards to the attitude the current guy has towards the band. Regardless of why, it doesn't sound like the band is a priority for him at a time it sounds like you need it to be.

Good luck either motivating him (I wouldn't) or firing him (I would).