So some of you read an old thread I posted about incredibly drama with a band member's girlfriend that ended up breaking the band up (Bizznitches is crazy -- what to do?
I recommend a high tolerance for crazy before reading).
The guitarist and I went to the same high school ( I graduated last year ) and our last show was the battle of the bands there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-FWcTGK57s
The guitarists and I were talking about doing it again with a new drummer. There's been a lot of talk of the drummer and what happened to split the band apart.
To be clear, there are many things I'm mad about. The drummer, once dependable, started missing practices and telling wild stories of venues that paid $2500 a night for a half hour originals band, him missing practice because there was an organization of people trying to make his girlfriend's life miserable and he had to go uninstall hidden cameras in his house, absolutely crazy things.
The other day I uploaded one of our old songs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vql09BzJ_tg
) and it got me thinking. I really miss the band. With the exception of the singer in that last link we all got along great. They were my closest friends and we spent more time (40-50 hours a week) on the band and with each other than any other time. The drummer and I went to shows together, built isolation booths for vocals, all kinds of things.
I've been thinking a lot on what went wrong. Coming from the drummer, a lot of things happened that are unacceptable.
But after almost a year of thinking, I've come to accept that maybe my role in it was a catalyst. Shortly before all this the singer and I were having a lot of fights that resulted in him being voted out of the band. The drummer got caught in the middle and we both sort of coerced him to take a side in fights and give us an opinion instead of opting out. I see that the more he pushed him, the stronger his involvement became.
After that, I called him on a lot of the stupid things that were being said and every time they got crazier. I went way farther than I would have and even if I had a point to push some of the things, I pushed them way farther than I should have or he was ready for ( insinuating his girlfriend could be cheating on him or was a pathological liar didn't help ) and I think I'd like to open a line of conversation with him.
I have some things to apologize for and I think he does too but I'm thinking about trying to find a way to talk to him (he's got me blocked on Facebook and probably my number). The truth of the matter is I've been thinking on a lot of things lately. I realized that for the first time in a while I'm doing music for money and not for enjoyment. I realize that I've never cared about any musical pursuit as much as that band or never connected with any members on that level. I don't feel like I can let that go without trying to fix my part in it. I've seen crazier things happen than two friends fix their mistakes after a year. But I don't know if I have faith that it could happen.
Am I crazy to try?