My Band Broke Up and I Feel Relieved....

FriscoBassAce · #1 05-13-2006, 11:31 PM

So you know how the guitarist's wife raised a fuss and then we fired him right? Well...that started a chain reaction. The vocalist called me up on Thursday before practice, and very rudely, told me that I was being rude to him. (Ironic, right?) I was like, ***? I've never been mean to him the whole time I've known him. He tells me I have two choices: 1.) apologize and make nice-nice to him, or 2.) pretend to apologize and then make excuses for why I was rude to him. Again, ***??? I told him that no one gives me choices in life like that, and he got even more upset with me and told me that I intimidated him. The guy's 6'2" tall and 250 lbs. How in the world could I initimidate him???

Anyway, I had pretty much had enough by the time I got to practice when the other guitarist said, "Is there any way we can get the old guitarist back that we just fired?" We talked about all this for about 30 minutes, and I finally said, "Look...I think it's time that I step down as leader of the band and let someone else do all the work. I'll be content to just show up and play."

The singer says..."We don't accept your resignation." I said, "Well, I'm stepping down anyway." So he left after a while, and it was just me, the mind-tripping guitarist, and the drummer. We've all been in the band longer than anyone. About that time, the tripping guitarist said that he was quitting the band. So I said, "Well, I guess that's it, then."

He and I started the band, worked on it for the last 8 months (meaning I did most of the work....website, promo pack, pictures, publicity, booking gigs, etc.) You know what though? I feel relieved. It was a little sad thinking about all the time I spent on the band and how close we were to breaking out and gigging regularly. But then I thought about how I'm now free to pursue other projects and continue to grow as a musician. I know I have more drive than anyone in that band. I mean, I don't want to be famous or anything, but I would like to be in a band that gigs regularly so that I can earn a little bit of a return on my investment, plus perform music for people on a regular basis.

So, I'm going to take a couple of weeks off from active work, practice a lot, and take the time to collect my thoughts. I'm either going to try and join an existing band, or re-form a different band later.

Anyone else ever feel relieved after their band breaks up? I just wasn't happy with the sound we had or the direction we were taking. I was trying to be professional about things, but several of the guys were content to be "just okay." I never do anything half-assed, so it was really killing me whenever I had to compromise my principles.

Allright...I guess that's it.....rant off!

Signed,

A Happy Bassist

SOA_bassist · #2 05-14-2006, 12:10 AM

glad to hear that, have fun and i hope you get a better group started

seanm · #3 05-14-2006, 12:23 AM

The lead guitar/singer in the band bought a Les Paul and the volume levels went way up. I had to start wearing earplugs and couldn't hear myself. It was partially my fault since I was only bringing an half stack but I really don't believe you need your ears bleeding at practice.

Anyway the lead guitar/singer left the band because he didn't have enough time. I was relieved since I didn't want to be the one who split up the band and I was no longer enjoying playing.

Slater · #4 05-14-2006, 01:35 PM

I went from "running" a band to just being a "hired-gun" in other bands, and I've never been happier. I'm playing more gigs, I have less responsibility, and I'm making more money!

MysticMichael · #5 05-14-2006, 01:49 PM

A band is a lot like any other kind of discretionary, nonessential, 100% voluntary relationship - such as with one's significant other, for example: It's a relationship you choose - not one you have to maintain, such as with the people with whom you work at your day job...

As such, one generally has some fairly idealistic motives for being there in the first place - which makes it very difficult to accept things that are not in keeping with one's expectations...

For the relationship to really gel and really reach its potential, everyone has to be united in a single purpose. There's simply no other way. If that's just not gonna happen, better to walk away and give yourself a chance with somebody else...

MM

ryco · #6 05-14-2006, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FriscoBassAce

So, I'm going to take a couple of weeks off from active work, practice a lot, and take the time to collect my thoughts. I'm either going to try and join an existing band, or re-form a different band later.

Good for you! It's nice to take time off and work on self progress. When a door shuts, a window opens!

lpdeluxe · #7 05-14-2006, 04:29 PM

...and a blessing in not very deep disguise. It either works or it doesn't. Just because a person of the opposite gender jumps into bed with you and makes you feel like a natural person, doesn't mean you can raise kids together, or agree on the living room furniture, or do anything else over an extended period of time. . This is a fact gleaned from 30+ years of grief and joy.

Good luck finding more guys to work with. It sounds like you are an experienced musician, and you will most likely never go too long between engagements (pun intended). Those other serious musicians are out there, and probably as frustrated as you are.

Work ethic rules.

MakiSupaStar · #8 05-15-2006, 10:09 AM

Wow. Get out there. Have you guys ever heard of beer? Bud??? You guys seem so formal in the way that you deal with each other. I'm surprised that you function as a band. Well, every band is a different dynamic. Get out there! They all sound like a bunch of girls (no offense ladies) at a tupperware party. Good job. Game over. Reset. New deal.

FriscoBassAce · #9 05-15-2006, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Wow. Get out there. Have you guys ever heard of beer? Bud??? You guys seem so formal in the way that you deal with each other. I'm surprised that you function as a band. Well, every band is a different dynamic. Get out there! They all sound like a bunch of girls (no offense ladies) at a tupperware party. Good job. Game over. Reset. New deal.

See that's the weird thing. In the last band I was in, we would all go to the sports bar across the street after practice and have some food and drink together. That made things more fun. But in this band, it just never happened. Not for lack of trying though.

But it's a blessing in disguise, and some other doors have already opened. I've had offers for three different bands, and I have a goal of learning at least 10 new songs a week, if not more. I want to be Mr. Versatility or Utility or whatever....I wouldn't mind playing the field for a while subbing when I can.