my guitarist wants to pull a d*ck move...

[tmdazed]

Originally Posted by Pilgrim

Stop playing like 12-year-olds on Facebook. (Mommy Mommy, Tommy unfriended me!!!) Deal with this face to face, straight up.

Talk with the drummer - tell him what you need. If he is willing to deliver it, fine. If not, you'll find another drummer.

THIS, DEAR GOD THIS!!!

WE just had to let one of our 6 stringers go, we did it like adults, not facebook. The guy was technically a GREAT guitarist, but the commitment level just was not there ( we thrive on the guys being ready for the rehearsal, songs practiced, SHOW UP, don't call or text an hour or two before hand with a lame excuse). We had a rehearsal set up ( regular day and time, we had it set out to try and finish up some originals we are writing for our first EP) and he texts me 2 hours before hand with some excuse about his kid has a birthday party to go to and his wife insists he be there (his wife seemed to insist he be there for every diaper change and drool cleanup for both kids).

Now keep in mind we had not seen him in three weeks and had been practicing as a four piece and we had had a band meeting on the subject with all 5 of us after the previous rehearsal we had with him and let him know in no uncertain terms were we trying to dissuade him from being with his family , but we were getting tired of being stiffed for weeks at a time because his kid had a boo boo or little jimmy peed on the floor. we asked what happens if we have a show and his wife insists he be somewhere else, no answer. We decide to give him another shot , and he sets this excuse on us at the last minute, ENOUGH. I contact the rest of the guys, get consensus and drop the hammer. We basically told him , we would love to jam with him at any time , but not at rehearsal slots and we decided we are going to move on as a 4 piece. No drama, no BS facebook defriending , a simple phone call and a professional attitude.

[capncal]

Originally Posted by pushbuttonfour

OK, so long story short, my drummer sucks in both talent and commitment. We are looking for a new one, but we don't want to ditch this one just yet, because there is a very limited number of drummers who like our genre in our area, and we figure "a bird in the hand..." well you know the saying

Anyway, we want to know what our options are, but without firing our current drummer. So, my guitarist had the idea to temporarily unfriend our current drummer on facebook and post a status asking who plays drums and wants to be in a band. I realize this would be effective, but also that it would be backstabbing and untrustworthy. Should I still allow my guitarist to go through with it, or is it too much of a d*ck move?

total d%^& move. you can't hide anything from anyone on facebook. your drummer is sure to find out about it and then there's going to be some serious doo doo.

just gotta sit him down and say that you need a more serious commitment or you're going to have to go another direction.

but never try to be sneaky. it will always backfire.

[MeLikeBass]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

Back in my day, we didn't have facebook. When you wanted to unfriend somebody, you had to look them square in the eye, and challenge them to a wrestling match. Three falls was the rule, and one of you would usually have an onion tied to your belt.

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

LOL!! One of the funniest Simpsons references Ive seen on TB.

[walterw]

Originally Posted by MeLikeBass

LOL!! One of the funniest Simpsons references Ive seen on TB.

aaugghh!

and again, the simpsons did it first!

[nanymoa]

In our band we had the same kind of issue with our drummer, our move was to tell him that we are not expecting to be a garage band forever, that we ask for a level of commitment which if he cannot keep up with, we would simply start looking for a replacement. No hard feelings.
Drummer understood, and began practicing a lot more. He didn't get to be Weckl yet, but at least he's not annoying anymore.

[Munjibunga]

It'd be a st*pid move. Does he think no one will tell the drummer what's up after they see it on Facebook?

[walterw]

remember, there is only one internet.

anything posted anywhere will eventually be seen by somebody you don't want to see it.

[pushbuttonfour]

don't worry, guys, after some minor thought we realized how stupid an idea this was. But we think we are gonna let our drummer go anyway, cuz he made up some lie about spraining his ankle to get out of practice. No trust at all.

[NickTej22]

Yeah man, who sprains their ankle...

[topo morto]

Originally Posted by pushbuttonfour

there are amazingly few punk drummers of our age who live near us

If you are a punk band, you grab someone who wants to be on drums, and put them behind the drums. They should have musicality but whether or not they are already a drummer is irrelevant. This is the punk way.

[Downunderwonder]

Actually, the only one in a punk band who needs a real amount of musicianship is the drummer.

[mcnach]

Facebook? Really?

[topo morto]

Originally Posted by Downunderwonder

Actually, the only one in a punk band who needs a real amount of musicianship is the drummer.

That sounds like another discussion, but its still my experience that the right person can build up the practical skills pretty quickly if they are into the music.

On another angle though, if the OP's band are a decent band anyway, why be limited to 'punk' drummers? Billy Corgan teamed up with a jazz drummer and that turned out pretty well.

[Nashrakh]

Originally Posted by pushbuttonfour

don't worry, guys, after some minor thought we realized how stupid an idea this was. But we think we are gonna let our drummer go anyway, cuz he made up some lie about spraining his ankle to get out of practice. No trust at all.

Talk about convenient excuses...

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by pushbuttonfour

OK, so long story short, my drummer sucks in both talent and commitment. We are looking for a new one, but we don't want to ditch this one just yet, because there is a very limited number of drummers who like our genre in our area, and we figure "a bird in the hand..." well you know the saying

Anyway, we want to know what our options are, but without firing our current drummer. So, my guitarist had the idea to temporarily unfriend our current drummer on facebook and post a status asking who plays drums and wants to be in a band. I realize this would be effective, but also that it would be backstabbing and untrustworthy. Should I still allow my guitarist to go through with it, or is it too much of a d*ck move?

You guys are already pulling a dick move by looking for a replacement behind your drummers back without addressing his issues and allowing him a chance to redeem himself.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

Back in my day, we didn't have facebook. When you wanted to unfriend somebody, you had to look them square in the eye, and challenge them to a wrestling match. Three falls was the rule, and one of you would usually have an onion tied to your belt.

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

Best. Post. Ever.

[Raymeous]

Originally Posted by Pilgrim

Stop playing like 12-year-olds on Facebook. (Mommy Mommy, Tommy unfriended me!!!) Deal with this face to face, straight up.

Talk with the drummer - tell him what you need. If he is willing to deliver it, fine. If not, you'll find another drummer.

i.e Grow a spine. Juuuuust sayin'

By telling drummer boy face to face, he may not like it, but at least he should be able to respect you for doing so, whereas by simply "unfriending" him he can call you and your guitarist a bunch of cowards and he'd be right. No one is saying that confronting him in person will be easy or pleasant. It is however the more grown up adult way to deal with it.

[inthevelvet]

Originally Posted by jungleheat

A better option if you want to go that route would be to just block the drummer from that post, that way he won't see it.

He will find out about it for sure. Plus, as the OP alluded to, it's a dick move. Just tell the drummer what is up and what the expectations are. If the band ends up "between drummers" for a few weeks so be it. At least they can feel they handled the situation in an adult/professional manner. Playing facebook games is for 12 year olds.

[pushbuttonfour]

Originally Posted by NickTej22

Yeah man, who sprains their ankle...

we talked to him and he admitted he was "stretching the truth."

[pushbuttonfour]

Originally Posted by Nashrakh

Talk about convenient excuses...

idk why, but reading this post made me realize that, if we keep dealing behind his back like this, we are just adding to the lack of trust. Yeah, I'll definitely give it to him straight.