my guitarist wants to pull a d*ck move...

[jchrisk1]

I'm not even friends on facebook with my band members. They will have to unfriend me in real life if they want to get rid of me.

[bunkaroo]

Sometimes you just have to move on. When I was 20 a good friend of mine was our drummer and I had already kicked him out of a band once when we were 16. This time we were doing stuff that was above his skill level, but we rehearsed in his parent's basement and it was a nice setup. But we knew we were just wasting our time writing with him. So we let him go before we even knew who would replacement. Thankfully we found a great drummer within a couple months. It sucked that we had to rent a rehearsal space but it was worth the upgrade.

Just move on if you don't think he can cut it.

[millsbass5]

Why is it that people find it hard to say something to someone's face? If I have something to say to someone, and it's gonna hurt their feelings, you can bet your sweet ass I'm gonna say it. Some people perceive me as a big ol' stiff prick, while others just know that I'm totally honest, and I speak my mind. Just take a deep breath and tell him. Damn.

[NickTej22]

This thread has just gone 110% pointless lol.

[pushbuttonfour]

Originally Posted by millsbass5

Why is it that people find it hard to say something to someone's face? If I have something to say to someone, and it's gonna hurt their feelings, you can bet your sweet ass I'm gonna say it. Some people perceive me as a big ol' stiff prick, while others just know that I'm totally honest, and I speak my mind. Just take a deep breath and tell him. Damn.

I don't necessarily find it hard, I'm just afraid of the consequences. Which I guess is equally reprehensible. But like I said, I didn't want our drummer to get turned off and quit before we had a replacement. But I decided just to man up and talk to him directly anyway

[keiththebassist]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

Back in my day, we didn't have facebook. When you wanted to unfriend somebody, you had to look them square in the eye, and challenge them to a wrestling match. Three falls was the rule, and one of you would usually have an onion tied to your belt.

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

I know a proper Abe Simpson quote when I read one. Proper my friend... proper.

[ErebusBass]

Originally Posted by pushbuttonfour

I don't necessarily find it hard, I'm just afraid of the consequences. Which I guess is equally reprehensible. But like I said, I didn't want our drummer to get turned off and quit before we had a replacement. But I decided just to man up and talk to him directly anyway

Afraid of what consequences? That you hurt his feelings?

As has been said earlier, no drummer is better than a bad drummer. If you don't have a bad drummer dragging you down, at least the rest of your band can work on tightening up and getting better while you find a drummer that's worth having.

[MarkMgibson]

For God's sake, just man up and be honest with the guy. Yeah, he'll probably be disappointed, but if you at least tell him straight he'll likely understand. As I said in another thread, I've been kicked out of a band because I simply wasn't good enough, and I've had to do the same with other people (there was never any bitterness about it in either case). At least have the decency to be honest and explain it to him in person. All this Facebook crap is for 9 year old girls.

[QORC]

Good drummers get snatched up quicker than Snickers bars at a fat camp.

Hey, 3 years ago, we were in the same boat. Poor drummer. Was talked to numerous times about practicing more and learning the material. He would promise but not deliver. So instead of putting ads out, we checked out a couple of local bands we knew had great drummers, but weren't playing great gigs. We offered one of them. We knew he'd do the trick.

3 years later we are a much better band.

3 years later, the previous drummer is STILL sending us occasional hate mail. LOL

[MarkMgibson]

Originally Posted by QORC

Good drummers get snatched up quicker than Snickers bars at a fat camp.

Hey, 3 years ago, we were in the same boat. Poor drummer. Was talked to numerous times about practicing more and learning the material. He would promise but not deliver. So instead of putting ads out, we checked out a couple of local bands we knew had great drummers, but weren't playing great gigs. We offered one of them. We knew he'd do the trick.

3 years later we are a much better band.

3 years later, the previous drummer is STILL sending us occasional hate mail. LOL

Really, hate mail 3 three years later? What a complete git. People come and go from bands all the time, it's just the nature of the business. Sometimes they ditch the band for a better opportunity (fair enough), and sometimes they're ditched for a better musician (fair enough again). It's a tough world out there, especially in the music business. If you're serious about playing music, get used to it - it's just as competitive as any other job. Just be straight be people - that's all you can do.

[pato1357]

I had a past band put an ad on an online forum looking for a new bassist and I found it by accident ome day.

They hadn't said anything to me about it or that they thought my playing wasn't up to standard, they were to scared to confront me so they did it behind my back.

We had a gig the next week so I decided to play it and then tell them I knew. I got to the gig and they all acted very nicely towards me an gave no signs that they didn't want me. After the gig I pulled them aside and gave them hell and walked out.

Suffice to say the whole ordeal wasn't very pleasant and I would have preferred them to have the balls to talk to me about their problems. Always talk it out, no matter how hard it is, you will feel better about yourself and he will respect you saying it to his face.

[dmusic148]

Originally Posted by Jazz Ad

Exactly. Is it so difficult to simply say things?

Right? Say things to people. With words. Not hard.

[dmusic148]

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