my guitarists girlfriend is ruining my band. help!!!!!

[stagebanter]

Ladies aint stuff but buses and trucks. That's how the song goes right?

[bassplayer8953]

Then I'm going to correct them incessantly when they screw up like EVERYONE DOES

...May be true, but there's also posting like you don't gaf...or like you're texting your buddies. Most of us overlook using your for you're or their for they're but when you post like you don't have a clue, people will treat you that way...

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by the wako kid

Well,you have a good point there. I'll be sure to check my caps in the future. It's readable though isn't it? I could be TyPiNg LiEk dIs.

Thank you. We're all winners now. Just like Charlie Sheen.

[Stumbo]

Originally Posted by guitarissts

I know im just a beginner but my Choir teacher at school has given me a great opportunity to show off my talents. She told me that if i could learn how to play music but the only problem is i dont have the music for playing the guitar. If I could get access chords then I can use it in my guitar lessons. Anyone out there to help me??? I hope to hear back soon....

??? Should be Miscellaneous

PS. Ask your teacher if she has any suggestion for learning materials. If she won't help you, I think she's trying to blow you off.

[Crazyeelboy]

Originally Posted by the wako kid

good news!!!! rythtym guitarist jammed with lead guitarist over the weekend,and seems to realize what he's missing. apparently his words were something like "we can't let these bitches getting in the way of jamming out." he wants to jam every chance he gets now,and is looking like he wants to dump his grilfriend too. things are looking up.

Hey Wako Kid - there is something critically important for you to learn while you are starting out. You need to be assertive in these band situations. Bands are like complex partnerships and there will always be issues coming up on lots of things.

Too many musicians are afraid to confront and deal with issues and they just hope that things will resovle themselves. Or worse, they go passive-aggressive and hope that the problem-guy "gets the hint". Neither approach works well and what you get are unhappy people ranting on forums about problems they won't solve.

You need to have a straight talk with this guitar player and focus on the problem issues. If he isn't doing things you need him to do, then man up and just tell him what's going on. DO NOT, however, go into anything about his girlfriend or his personal choices - that is his business. If the problem is that he is late for gigs, then just say that you need him to be on time for gigs. If he isn't performing well, then tell him that you need him to be more consistent. Take each problem as they are in a direct and business like way. Develop this habit and you will avoid tons of problems in the years to come.

[VinKreepo]

Originally Posted by Munjibunga

TalkBass is a good place to practice the grammar, spelling and puctuation skills you'll need to set yourself apart from others who will be competing with you in the workplace. Illiteracy blows.

You don't have time? You don't have time? Come on! You're sitting there goofing off on TalkBass. It really isn't that hard to hit the shift key when you start a new sentence or type a proper noun. Maybe they've slacked off on the SAT test questions or something.

I'm going to keep an eye on you.

You misspelled the word "punctuation."

[TroyK]

Dude, I've been doing this a lot longer than you have and I'm about to give some indispensable advice.

If you haven't already done so, you need to immediately name your band "Blinded by Poontang".

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by VinKreepo

You misspelled the word "punctuation."

Typo.

[ChrisB2]

Originally Posted by TigerInATrance

At 17 it seems that the girlfriend will be gone sooner than later anyway, no?

Not always. Sadly, I have been in bands with guys in their 40s and 50s who stayed with these girls, eventually married and procreated with them. And I've been in bands destroyed by them, even at that age.

It's great that maybe he's seeing the light... for now; but keep your eyes open and don't assume that she will just go away or keep out of your way. It's my prediction that he will not break up with her, and that she will come back into the picture with renewed force. If I'm right, at that time you'll need to make a decision, and you already know what to do.

[davidjackson]

Originally Posted by the wako kid

blinded by poontang

I think I have just found the title for my new solo project.

[MarkMgibson]

Originally Posted by TigerInATrance

At 17 it seems that the girlfriend will be gone sooner than later anyway, no? Especially crazy chicks... They're awesome and a boatload of giggles, but they're also a short lived commodity. Especially if you can get him out on a stage... Plenty of other women at a show, and, being a guitar player, they'll be quick to act. This should be your strategy... For the sake of your band and your friend.

And if that doesn't work, there's always the "serious chat" route leading to a good old fashioned "you're fired!"

Sounds like the perfect strategy to me. I'm betting most of us have been through this nonsense, and that's why you should know the Cardinal Rule of being in a band: No girlfriends/boyfriends/or other hangers-on allowed at rehearsals. Make that a strict rule from now until your dead.

Having said that, this chic is probably his first real girlfriend, and we've all probably been guilty of acting like a complete idiot over a girl at some point, so I wouldn't hold it against him too much. As others have said, the girl will be gone soon enough, and he'll realise he behaved like a git. Just have a chat with him and tell him that you don't want any distractions at rehearsals, so no girlfriends (which means it applies to all of you). He'll either have to wear it, or he'll leave. I'm betting he'll pick the music over the CBCB.

[MrLenny1]

Get rid of him. Period.
Women are big trouble in bands, around bands etc...
Trust me, I have been there many times in 30 years.

[MarkMgibson]

Reminds me of Spinal Tap - "too much dubly" LOL

[Session1969]

Originally Posted by mambo4

then the girlfriend is not the problem.

+1

[Session1969]

Originally Posted by TroyK

Dude, I've been doing this a lot longer than you have and I'm about to give some indispensable advice.

If you haven't already done so, you need to immediately name your band "Blinded by Poontang".

Lol !

[trololotron]

Same f***ing story bro (( But, in my case the guitarist is band frontman and composer. He writes all the music, and i can say that i'm huge fan of his music. We are good friends also, BUT his girlfriend is **ing psyco bitch, selfish, hysterical, mean and totally inadequate. We can not replace him - cause it's his band, and it's wery hard for me to quit this band. We playing together about 4 years, everything was going well until this bitch did not want to become a manager. She pretends that plays an important role in the life of the group, but actually she ruins all. Guitarist is a little bit strange, but wery good person. And i can not force him to leave her. I don't know what to do (((

[IngerAlb]

Whatever goes on in someone's life is his/her business alone.
Whatever goes on in a band should be approached/treated as business - even if you're good friends and do it just for fun, and not as an actual job.

I've learned this the hard way: the guys that come up with this type of excuses are actually making up excuses for their lack of will and drive. If something is really important for you, you fight for it. If not, you just don't care and make up silly excuses for not giving a damn anymore (like a crazy chick - even if that's the case).

Now at 17 I can understand the hormones kicking in and pushing guys into doing stupid things for a girl, but if they're willing to give up just for that, then so be it.

If I were you, I'd be honest, but firm: I'll tell the guy that whatever he does with his life is his business, but that his behaviour is affecting the band so it's time to do something about it or face the consequences. If he doesn't understand (or doesn't care), then it's time to find someone else, because with this type of guys there's no future - EVER.

[DudeLeap]

I had this problem with my drummer who is one of my best friends, we had to let him go. Missing practice showing up hours late and not being able to play shows because of the girlfriend. We replaced him, new drummer didn't work and he came back with a whole new mentality. Tell him which way the wind blows and if it doesn't work tell him to hit the road, chances are he'll wake up.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by IngerAlb

Now at 17 I can understand the hormones kicking in and pushing guys into doing stupid things for a girl,.

I was doing stupid things for girls when I was 56.

Blue

[dukeisdog]

Originally Posted by mambo4

then the girlfriend is not the problem.

No doubt..

My girl knows when my practices are and knows that I see my band as a second job. A band needs to practice, and anyone that can't take a night out of their week (or a night or few hours from their S/O) doesn't need to be in the band. You'll be able to find someone who wants to be there, don't worry.