Need some advice on moving for a band

Aenima · #1 07-06-2009, 11:46 AM

Hi everyone, i dont post here too often but from what ive seen and heard from the TB community i know ill get some solid opinions for asking.

Me along with my guitarist (who ive been playing in small bands with for years) were asked the other day by some good friends of mine (a drummer/singer and guitarist/singer) to move down with them and join a Post-Hardcore band they have been working in (stuff along the lines of Emery, Protest the Hero, My Children My Bride, Thrice) I love the stuff that we have been jamming since the guitarist has been staying at my place this summer, and when the drummer came up to visit we all jammed and had this undeniable chemistry. on top of that, the drummer is really tight with alot of big bands and has hokups and the potential to get our name out there through them. They are asking if we can be down there by the end of the summer and get drum tracks along with our strings and vox recorded to some of the stuff that they have made and songs that the 2 guitarists and i have been working on so we can start playing shows immeadiately.

However to do this i would have to basically throw away everything i have up here right now and my family dosent think its a good idea

(that is with the exception of my sister who fully supports my bands and dosent mind as long as i come back up to see her graduate next year

)

i know it wouldnt be hard to get a job as of right now, I have an excellent paying full time job within veizon and at the very least i would be able to get great refrences (i got promoted there 2 weeks after training ended

). And he said me and the other guitarist could stay at his house untill we find a place to move into. I know i could take care of myself down there.

The only real problem i have is this uncontrollable anxiety with the whole issue. I know this is what i want to do (and hopefully continue doing for many years

, i am just having trouble commiting to the whole idea because of this

. the family thing is an issue too its not big and i know that if i can get this going they will be completely fine with it, but i can definitly tell they are not liking this idea at all right now

So are there any words of encouragement, advice, or similar stories that you TBers have that can help me try and convince myself that i will be fine doing this instead of sitting around in the same grage bands i have been playing in for years.

Sorry for the rambling on i know i do that often, and if this is in the wrong section

jtkennedy9 · #2 07-06-2009, 12:00 PM

As long as you don't have a wife and kids to support, I think you should go for it. Opportunities like this might never happen again...
Would it be possible to talk to Verizon and transfer?

Aenima · #3 07-06-2009, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtkennedy9

As long as you don't have a wife and kids to support, I think you should go for it. Opportunities like this might never happen again...
Would it be possible to talk to Verizon and transfer?

No wife or kids yet, im still pretty young and am not really looking to settle down too fast

i was looking into seeing if they had any other branches down there with the work i do (i work in one of verizons corporate buildings with Gov/Education accounts if there is any trouble with them and am one of this groups Credit Administrators) but i did not see a branch down there, if i didnt get the same job it wouldnt bother me too much and i could probably do other taskes within the company no problem. But i am definitly going to look to get another 9-5 till this got rolling and keep myself supported

Chickencha · #4 07-06-2009, 12:10 PM

It sounds like you know what you want to do. Just make sure you're really looking at everything clearly. You say you'll have no problem finding a job, but you might do some looking first. As I'm sure you know, now's not the greatest time to be job hunting. As long as you're making money, though, what's the worst that can happen? I wouldn't worry about your family too much if this is really what you want.

I haven't moved for a band, but I have gone through similar life-changing decisions. My experience is that usually the anxiety and uncertainty around the decision is far worse than any consequences that the decision might have. (Then again, I've been more fortunate than many people, so my opinion might be colored by that.) You're young and (most likely) have few responsibilities. You can do things like this and still land on your feet even if it doesn't work out.

Talk it over with your guitarist. Make a decision and don't worry too much about what might have happened otherwise. You can't live your life like that.

AltGrendel · #5 07-06-2009, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chickencha

It sounds like you know what you want to do. Just make sure you're really looking at everything clearly. You say you'll have no problem finding a job, but you might do some looking first. As I'm sure you know, now's not the greatest time to be job hunting. As long as you're making money, though, what's the worst that can happen? I wouldn't worry about your family too much if this is really what you want.

I haven't moved for a band, but I have gone through similar life-changing decisions. My experience is that usually the anxiety and uncertainty around the decision is far worse than any consequences that the decision might have. (Then again, I've been more fortunate than many people, so my opinion might be colored by that.) You're young and (most likely) have few responsibilities. You can do things like this and still land on your feet even if it doesn't work out.

Talk it over with your guitarist. Make a decision and don't worry too much about what might have happened otherwise. You can't live your life like that.

+1 on that.

That kind of opportunity may not come around twice. Just go in with your eyes open.

TrevorOfDoom · #6 07-06-2009, 12:18 PM

out of curiosity, down where?

dmusic148 · #7 07-06-2009, 12:20 PM

Young, no mortgage, unmarried, no children? Do it or forever wonder what might have happened.

Aenima · #8 07-06-2009, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrevorOfDoom

out of curiosity, down where?

Oh sorry, Springfield, MO. Its actually not too far away (about 4 hr drive from here) but im more just freaking out with the possibility of burning any bridges behind me with my parents, another thing that has crossed my mind is that this will be the first time on my own actually supporting myself

this damn anxiety just keeps getting me freaked out about the whole thing

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmusic148

Do it or forever wonder what might have happened

This is another problem with me haha im already thinking about this too nd i havent made up my mind

bongomania · #9 07-06-2009, 01:09 PM

4 hours distance is really no big deal. One thing though, don't assume you can easily get a job just because you have one now. Lots of people with more experience and qualifications than you are out there job hunting right now.

I say go for it, but don't assume anything.

Phil Smith · #10 07-06-2009, 01:19 PM

I would say yes do it if it were some famous act saying "come on, go on the road with us for a year", but this isn't a famous act and this is also a pretty bad economy. You have a good full time job, stick with it save your money and keep practicing is what I would recommend.

If you decide to go, your plan must account for not being able to find a job and running out of what savings you currently have. The scenario as written doesn't seem worth it to me, but that's just my opinion.

Mr-Wunderful · #11 07-06-2009, 01:19 PM

Go for it. You don't really have anything chaining you down right now. Springfield is a cool town.

Bassguy61 · #12 07-06-2009, 02:51 PM

I'd have to echo those calling for a bit of caution. I made a move like this once, not for a band, but I'd suggest the thought process would be the same. Yes, you have an advantage in that you don't have much holding you in place, but that's just a tiny piece of the puzzle. Some things I'd suggest for you to consider...

Do you LIKE the city you're considering moving to? Having a band is great, but you still have to live there every day. If the band is the only thing going for it, I'd be very wary.

What's the economy like there? I'd think one or two jobs down the road. If the job you take to get you there went away, is there enough opportunity to land on your feet? I know there's no easy answer to that, but don't just assume that having a job is enough. You never know these days...

Look at the cost of living to make sure you know if the salary you get offered is enough to pay the bills there.

Also, don't go UNTIL you have a job lined up. In my situation, I took vacation time to interview for work. I contacted companies and let them know I would be in town between certain dates and would love the chance to interview for a position with them. It worked in my case.

I know, I probably sound like your parents! Look, the band opportunity sounds great, but as we all know, unfortunately, bands come and go. Just make sure that you don't get yourelf into a situation you hate if the band goes away...

Okay, switching off "parent mode"... LOL

SnoMan · #13 07-06-2009, 03:13 PM

I'm glad no one seems to be bashing you. This is a big decision and when people start vehemently going against you, you'll push right back against them and do it even if it's against your better judgement.

I say do it.

I did. It didn't work. I moved 6 hours south. I knew if the **** hit the fan, I was only a short drive from home should I have needed the support for any crazy reason. I never did. I was away and it was a good experience for me. Things did not work out as planned, but that's life. I'm kinda glad that situation didn't turn out, in hindsite. I'm far happier in my current musical situation and on all fronts. That's the beauty of it.

Do what you think is best for you. Listen to those who offer good advice. Remember, you aren't that far from home.

ThunderLizard · #14 07-06-2009, 03:22 PM

Aenima-
Take your time on this one. Relocating is a big deal even if you have some support. And you'll need more support than a local band can offer. And yes, I sound like your parents because I'm probably older than both of them (put together).
Now if you get a call from Metalica......

kickstand22 · #15 07-06-2009, 03:44 PM

Good advice above.......How many times do you live? Make an intelligent, informed decision. Weigh pros and cons.
You could look back at 40 something, with a wife and 4 kids, mortgage, car notes, etc., and say, man when I went out to Cali that summer, when I was 20, to stay with Trish for a while.....I should have stayed and should have tried to make it. Coulda Shoulda.

PJSShearer · #16 07-06-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kickstand22

Good advice above.......How many times do you live? Make an intelligent, informed decision. Weigh pros and cons.
You could look back at 40 something, with a wife and 4 kids, mortgage, car notes, etc., and say, man when I went out to Cali that summer, when I was 20, to stay with Trish for a while.....I should have stayed and should have tried to make it. Coulda Shoulda.

What he said * 100.

I was 19, had no ties, all I owned was my gear and my clothes and a Promise of a gig ... I look back now at the age of 52 with a wife, child and a mortgage and I say - I have no regrets...

Go for it..

N.F.A. · #17 07-06-2009, 04:19 PM

I dropped everything and moved to Europe when I was your age. No job, no place to stay, but had some friends. I ended up staying there for 3 years or so. It was the best time of my life. I say go for it. I doubt that you were planning on staying at verizon for the next 40 years or so. A couple of warnings though.. Make sure you are compatible with the guys who are putting you up. People can be strange sometimes. Also, I would do an exploratory visit and get the lay of the land, vibe, etc. What a cool situation to be in. One other thing to think about.. When you don't have a job and a band is the only way to make money, you get good in a hurry, get out there and get jobs in a hurry, or you don't eat. It may make you a much better player than you would be in your 9 to 5 life.

irishryno · #18 07-06-2009, 04:21 PM

Every big name artist scrificed for what they have now. some lived in laundry rooms heated with the neighbors fence. That being said, they had conviction, desire, and dream. Youth is the time that you step out and risk. Give me back 15 yrs and I will show you a well established bass player. So take the chance whilst you still can. Regrets of age are hard to live with sometimes. I picked up the bass 4 yrs ago, which is a tragedy, as I have a nack for it. I'm 37 and already wishing I had started when I first wanted at 14. Now I'm fighting to catch up. And I still have a fiance and 2 daughters to remind that I love them, as well as a job I get paid well for, but feel no ambition for. take the chance. And when you make it, you can look back and say "I'm glad I took the chance"

Stumbo · #19 07-06-2009, 04:42 PM

Why don't they move up to where you are? Ask them and see how they feel about that. If they start giving reasons that also apply to you moving down to where they are then you should think about it.

+1 on finding a job before you move.

Do you have health insurance at Verizon? Pension? Disability? Probably. These days it's tough to find a job with health insurance.

Also, you need to have a good savings account before you move.

alapantera · #20 07-06-2009, 04:47 PM

I'd say do it, but I'd start looking for jobs ASAP! With the economy the way it is, last I heard people were going at least 6 months on average before finding a job, I'm sure it's worse now. If Verizon doesn't have another branch down where you're moving, maybe they can at least get your foot in the door with a sales job at one of their retailers (maybe).

If the band is close to paying gigs, even better. There's always the option to move back if things don't work out.