Need suggestions on how to handle a delicate situation

**butchblack** · #1 03-05-2007, 10:31 PM

Hi Guys

Any suggestions welcome

The situation is this. A group of people have been getting together on Monday nights to play blues at the guitarist's house. We recently lost the harmonica player due to the guitarist's choice of songs (all slow, non standard arrangements, non guitar solo centric) so the guitarist asks me to take over the project. I agree to take over the practice sessions. Tonight was the first practice and within an hour he was muscling in his agenda. He is, at best a marginal rhythm player and really not a soloist in the modern electric blues context. We're guitar,keys,sax, drums, bass, and a female vocalist (no 2nd guitar)

My thoughts are this. E-mail him pointing out that you can't have two leaders and that if he wants me to run the practices he can't take over whenever he wants. If he wants to run it with his agenda, fine but he needs to take responsibility for his actions and his song selection may cause other defections. As mentioned before we lost the harmonica player to this problem and the guitarist tore him a new ******* for leaving the project. Please note that the goal of this project was to get 5-6 songs together and hit the local open mike, There were no paying gigs involved, so it was not like he was leaving us in a bind.

If you added a good lead guitarist this line up could make a decent band, but since the guitarist's attitude towards anything hard driving and up tempo (IE. tore down, Born in Chicago, etc.) is that it all sounds the same, I think it would be a struggle to put together a set list that would work in the local clubs.

So, any feedback, ideas, etc. welcome

theshadow2001 · #2 03-05-2007, 11:17 PM

Find a lead guitarist that can hold a beat (rare I know!) there's enough there between you and keys for a full sounding backline

But if this guy is doing songs that won't get the gigs and if that is your main aim. Just fire him

aceshigh · #3 03-13-2007, 09:51 AM

What you are living or more a rule than an exception. Who never a dude like that on a band?

Explain to him what is bothering you. See you can both compromise and get to an agreement that satisfies everybody. If he doesn't improve quick, explain that it is nothing personal but you'll be looking for someone else.

If this was a working situation you could probably find a way to live with him but on weekend/hobby situation, no thanks...
If you have to get upset go to work, at least you get paid for it.

QORC · #4 03-13-2007, 09:57 AM

gotta have a heart to heart with the guy. not by email. Call him, get together outside of practice. Figure out the ground rules.

bradjonesbass · #5 03-13-2007, 02:14 PM

If you're running the show now, just call somebody else and ask them to come in next time. Ask this guy to stick to rhythm and introduce some more uptempo songs. If he quits because of it, then oh well...

Eilif · #6 03-13-2007, 04:13 PM

Talk it out. As I see it, there are two options for comprimise
1) add a second guitarrist and add a few uptempo songs

2) add a few uptempo songs and have the sax player do some soloing.

Either way, it sounds like you need some more uptempo stuff. Maybe not too "hard and driving", but if you can't come to a comprimise then get out now. If this is a "for fun" project, then it just ain't worth it to play music that you don't enjoy with someone who is going to make the experience not fun.

Oh yeah, this has to be a face to face talk it's to easy to miscommunicate over email where someone is free to read anything they want into your message when they can't see your face and hear your tone of voice. It's also the most respectable way to resolve problems, second being a phone conversation.

**butchblack** · #7 03-13-2007, 07:24 PM

Hi All

The problem was compounded by the fact that he was the person that originally got everybody together and we practiced at his place.

The problem was resolved, reasonably amicably. As I couldn't get through more then half a sentence without a yeah but I ended up sending an e-mail basically saying that you can't have two people running the show. Either he needed to do it or I, and if I did, we were heading in a more up beat Chicago style. He decided to reform his Monday project and it looks like I am reforming with the rest of the personnel and a new guitar player (or 2). We told each other no hard feelings and wished each other the best.

Hopefully we will get the new group together this weekend or next, see what we have, and go from there