the new bassist(my replacement)(help)

yeahitsanibanez · #1 02-12-2010, 01:34 PM

so my best friend and guitarist, is having a new bassist come over to jam with him.
normally i wouldn't care... but this guy is amazing.
i mean like phenomenal.
and its not like I'm bad.
i can hold my own trust me.
but the thing that's most insulting is
he is letting this new guy use my rig.

PLEASE!
help me with advice, tips and techniques to help me win my band back.
i really need this.

i dont wanna lose my band and my best friend.

MatticusMania · #2 02-12-2010, 02:14 PM

Well, youve said absolutely nothing about why you are being replaced. And if you are being replaced, why in the hell would you let them use your amp?

yeahitsanibanez · #3 02-12-2010, 03:28 PM

yeah thanks for the support.
and i told them i wanted more recognition and they just told me today they have a new guy coming over.
i just went and picked up my amp so they cant.

60's Bluesman · #4 02-12-2010, 03:37 PM

well ic u wanna salvage a friendship with this dude so i would just give him a call sometime soon and see if he wants to jam, then play the very hardest song in terms of the bassline and play your a$$ off prove your the better bassist. he dont sound like a good friend tho replacing you like that, granted my guitar playing friends have a couple bassist to jam wit but they still make time for me the noob bassist a few times a month

jkramer5 · #5 02-12-2010, 03:40 PM

Replace me, fine , it happens. It sucks, but it happens.

Use MY gear for the new guy? umm no. In fact, if I were him, I wouldn't use your gear. Don't ever introduce any of these guys to chicks you like or loan em anything, you'll never see it again.

Drop-the-One · #6 02-13-2010, 03:41 PM

Yea, NO! Good thing you got your rig... that's bull-poop

I use the bass cab of the band's previous bassist (they're still friends... and the bassist left to focus on 1 band). He left it in their space... that's not so bad (it's an eden 410 that needs some love... i wanna just buy it off him)

bassplayer8953 · #7 02-13-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yeahitsanibanez

so my best friend and guitarist, is having a new bassist come over to jam with him.
normally i wouldn't care... but this guy is amazing.
i mean like phenomenal.
and its not like I'm bad.
i can hold my own trust me.
but the thing that's most insulting is
he is letting this new guy use my rig.

PLEASE!
help me with advice, tips and techniques to help me win my band back.
i really need this.

i dont wanna lose my band and my best friend.

There's gotta be more to this than you're telling.

Either there's a problem with your playing (you say there isn't; what do your bandmates say?)...

...or a personality clash, or scheduling, or something...

Most bands (unless you're Mr Big) don't go looking for a Billy Sheehan for bass; most of the bands I've played in want a bass player who locks with the drummer, provides a good foundation for the rest, and is a team player. Bass players who are "phenomenal" wind up clashing with the guitarist, or the keyboardist, or vocalist, etc...you get my drift.

If the guitarist is truly "your best friend" he'll level with you, and give you the honest truth about why they are auditioning replacements. If you are as competent as you say you are, and they are going to replace you anyway, then, well, let's just say that they are not band-mates I'd want to be in a band with.

...And there's no way a replacement-wannabee is going to be playing on my equipment...none. Take your stuff and bring it somewhere...anywhere...but where they're jamming.

7StringBassist · #8 02-13-2010, 06:15 PM

This sounds vaguely familiar

Exploiter8 · #9 02-13-2010, 06:37 PM

Were the two of you friends BEFORE the band, or did you become friends BECAUSE of the band? My friend of over 4 decades and I had a fallout over music way back when, but we are tight today, and have a blast jammin' because we were friends before any band stuff. As a matter of fact, I have both bass and a couple of guitar amps at a mutual drummer buddy's house that we jam at. Our buddy is filling in on drums due to my friend's other drummer's surgery. They all practice using my amps, and I feel good knowing I'm helping out a friend.

For What It's Worth,
X8

Jim Campbell · #10 02-13-2010, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yeahitsanibanez

yeah thanks for the support.
and i told them i wanted more recognition and they just told me today they have a new guy coming over.
i just went and picked up my amp so they cant.

there have to be
some reason(s).....you told them you wanted more recognition and they went out and got another guy......then they audition him with your gear and you say they are your friends.....hmmmm......

yeahitsanibanez · #11 02-13-2010, 07:06 PM

wells an amalgamationof me wanting more recognition
and me not being happy with the bands general direction its complicated

yeahitsanibanez · #12 02-13-2010, 07:07 PM

well originally it was us being good friends and starting a band then it turned into being best friends

plankspanker13 · #13 02-13-2010, 07:37 PM

At least you have self-respect, and got your gear out of there. Only trusted friends play thru my gear, which is to say, very few people other than myself. I do agree that there is a side of the story not shared. Do they want to continue with you, and perhaps use the new guy in a side project in a different genre? If so, then that might be a learning opportunity to capitalize upon. If it's just direct replacement, then good riddance. Be sure to explore the other side of the story, if not with us here on TB, then at least with yourself. You have to be your own worst critic at times, in order to learn.

Crazyeelboy · #14 02-15-2010, 11:02 AM

Yeahitsanibanez - you are holding out on us, bro. There has to be a lot more to the picture than you're telling us, so I'm not sure what you're looking for in this thread.

Yes, it ain't right for your band to ask you to use your equipment to audition your replacement and you would be a serious doormat if you let them use your equipment for this purpose.

The bigger question is what's going on with your band. If you want to stay in the band and get more recognition, then have a straight up talk with the guys about it. If you don't know why they want to replace you, then have a straight up talk with the guys about it. One of the biggest problems with bands is that people often act like a bunch of passive aggressive wussies and never actually discuss important issues - instead they just sulk, get pissed off and do something unreasonable. Man up and talk to the band about what's going on - but first, make sure nobody uses your stuff.

yeahitsanibanez · #15 02-16-2010, 09:26 AM

thanks your in put crazyeelboy
but if you read the rest of the thread its all mentioned

**jmattbassplaya** · #16 02-16-2010, 09:50 AM

Well if you aren't happy with the direction the band is going in then why are you mad? I think you need to level with the band yourself.

QORC · #17 02-16-2010, 09:51 AM

it stings. It's wrong. they should have been more up front with you.

but there is a lesson here -- people suck. People lie.

Doesn't matter if you are "friends" -- musicians are usually big on egos, somewhat flaky, and short on empathy.

For years, I tried to be friends with bandmates and felt betrayed when they did things that I felt were disrespectful or worse.

Now, I'm not. I assume that everyone has their own agenda. It's a business to me now. I can be "political" and pretend to be friendly, but these people are not my friends. They will stab me (and others) in the back and smile about it. And lie to your face as to why. I've seen too many musicians do it to other people. Especially men. We really are a terrible thing as a gender!

I play to be good. I play to please myself. I play to be part of something snappy that gets some recognition and bit of pocket change. but I don't play for THEM. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a hired gun. I won't go the extra mile for band members. Or other courtesies that friends extend to each other. No way. I will always be prepared, professional, show up on time and give a good show. I will give the phony "bonhomie" with the band mates. The high 5's. The slaps on the back. But I watch my back and my own interests, always. That may sound cynical, but believe me, it has been LIBERATING. I keep my expectations of bandmates very low now. And, like being in the Army, I volunteer for nothing. I just do my own thing until I'm tired of it, then I'll leave and do something else.

so play for fun. Play for YOURSELF. But don't believe that you are ever secure in a band because "afterall, we are all friends!"

keep your eyes open.

masterfader87 · #18 02-16-2010, 09:58 AM

This same kind of **** happened to me man my first band which included my best friend playing drums got mad at me for hanging out with my girl rather then going to practice everyday so they kicked me out and replaced me with one of the other bassists in my high school. i formed another band and we kicked their ass in the Emergenza battle of the bands two years in a row and ended up having way more fans, more chicks, more parties, and hell of a lot of more fun. Don't get upset or mad just find some other guys to jam with and work even harder. If they are willing kick you out because you want more recognition do they really deserve your friendship?

Rickett Customs · #19 02-16-2010, 10:03 AM

Bringing another player over? See ya, gotta go, good luck with that, so long and thanks for the fish

John Bassist · #20 02-16-2010, 10:08 AM

Don't lose your cool, mate. If you trust in your own skills, show it to your guitarrist friend. If he still prefer the new "phenomenal" guy, no problem! You can try your luck in another band, made up with other friends.

Tip: Try saying your friend you would like to see a new guitarrist playing along.

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