So we're in a period of transition.
We're a three piece rock band. We started in 2004, but have had our latest drummer with us since 2005. Now, our bassist (my sister) is going up to college, 2 hours north of here. I'm heading out to a new teaching job, which is luckily only about 20 or so minutes away from where she's going to school. Our drummer, however, has a solid job here and (understandably) isn't interested in uprooting his family.
Over the past few years, we've done a lot of marketing/promotion and a lot of touring. We've started to build a decent name and a decent following around the state and beyond. This has been a team effort, and we've all sort of slipped into our own roles in the band (ironically, our drummer, although the oldest in the band, is also the most idealistic, which adds a refreshing contrast to my own realistic nature).
The point is that he has made as much of a contribution to the band personality as anyone.
Well, now 2/3 of the band is moving two hours north. Realistically, we all have agreed that it's too far to do any sort of "regular" gigging, especially since any "local" show would mean 4 hours in the car for at least one of us. We won't even think about the impossibility of rehearsing.
Our drummer has been saying all along that he would understand if we started playing with a new drummer, and that it wouldn't offend him. Now, however, he takes a new turn - he says that if we started playing under the same BAND NAME with a new drummer... THAT would offend him.
So now we're torn. Website is set up. We have a tub full of hats, tshirts, CDs, etc. Hundreds of Myspace friends, and a solid email list. Even if I were to sit back on my haunches and not do any promotion at all, we'd still be asked to do at least one or two shows a month. We've played with a couple of national acts, hit some small festivals, and done some light touring. People recognize us on the street, and fans email just to say hello. All of this is integrally tied to the band name.
The drummer is a good friend, and I can't imagine doing the last two years without him there with us, but I'm not particularly keen on starting over - it'll be hard enough to get a new drummer up to speed and get the band clicking again. I'm not sure I want to add to that the annoyance of starting a "new band".
So my question is this: Is he being irrational, or am I? Am I being selfish, or is he? I might have a little more sympathy if he was one of the charter members of the band, but he's not. He's actually drummer number four. He is, however, the one who stuck the longest, and the band dynamic would be completely changed without him... but that part is not up for debate.
Sigh... I like it better when people just quit.
