Night/Day, Apples/Oranges

[Ed Sewers Park]

My band consists of myself (bass, obviously) and two good friends, guitar and drums respectively. My guitarist and I share the duty of songwriting and vocals. He is very gifted, but extraordinarily hard on himself. He has a slew of issues physically and emotionally that prevent him from being happy. Like it is to me, music is his pulse; sharing our craft is what matters; but when he's down (which is often) he either says everything he does is **** or goes so far as to say this music thing is worthless. Because of this, we don't play shows and we don't record. Instead we just get together once a week and write songs.

I write intuitively- it comes naturally. This is not to say I don't edit and work it out with my ears; but, without trying to sound like an idiot, it just comes to me. I don't like to tamper too much with my product. I don't waste time worrying about sounding like this band or that band, I am comfortable making the music I make. For example: if your inspiration and drive comes from R&B and your product comes out pop-punk, don't fight it- that's who you are.

My guitarist on the other hand doesn't believe in his playing or writing. It's such a struggle for him, he hates everything he plays. When he gets something that sounds good, he beats the song to death trying to make it sound just "right". He's never satisfied.

In short-
I am not afraid of failure and there is nothing more frightful to him. The goal is to finish the songs we've begun, practice them, record them, and play some shows. I believe we all share that vision, but he just loses all of his drive because he's so ****ing sad.

Anyone been in these old shoes of mine?

[mambo4]

Been in similar situations.Some people really love music but really hate performing. I don't play with such people anymore.

Songwriting is not performance, and spending time identifying which one is the primary goal for each of you is worthwhile. If performance is truly an express goal, at some point you must commit to getting onstage and just do it-weather or not you believe you and your material is 100% ready. Many creative and competent songwriters never reach that point -and that's fine if they can acknowledge that they are not interested in actual performance.

If you want to perform, you need to play with others who honestly want the same.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Ed Sewers Park

In short-
I am not afraid of failure and there is nothing more frightful to him.

Anyone been in these old shoes of mine?

I am not sure how you can fail if your not going to play out live.

If I may ask, how old are you guys.

[Marko5657]

…and two good friends, guitar and drums respectively

Sorry, I just thought that was kinda funny.

What’s he like when he’s not depressed?

Is he anal retentive even when he’s feeling okay?

[Marko5657]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I am not sure how you can fail if your not going to play out live.

...

[Ed Sewers Park]

Originally Posted by bluewine

I am not sure how you can fail if your not going to play out live.

-Right, that's the whole point. We never finish anything, that way he never has to commit the songs to recording or shows. It's a defense mechanism.

Originally Posted by Marko5657

What’s he like when he’s not depressed?

He's confident in his writing and i excited about it. Loves to play, write, and especially show off.

Originally Posted by Marko5657

Is he anal retentive even when he’s feeling okay?

Depends on the project, but the more the authorship of the song belongs to him, the more anal retentive.