Not another "My band just kicked me out" thread

El Raro · #1 01-28-2013, 08:15 PM

Not even a whinge or anything. Not particularly butthurt about it either. More confused than anything. Thought its worth sharing either way for your reading pleasure.

So as the story goes, I was recently (as of 15 minutes ago) fired from one of my bands due to "commitment issues" on my part. From what I gather, the fact that I'm not committed enough to the band (because I went on vacation for 6 weeks to my home country) and pull my own weight financially are the main factors as to why I've been let go. This is despite shedding out a good few grand on rehearsal time, recording time and even shouting (paying for) other members when they were short on cash (which I was quick to remind them of).

I told my main band about the incident and they all seemed just as perplexed as me. One of them laughed and the ridiculousness of it commenting "punk problems, yo". We all know each other pretty well so for this other band to let me go so coldly and bluntly with, what we believe to be, unjustifiable reason kinda sucks. I replied to another member (of the band which fired me) and asked him what the deal was hoping to make some sort of sense of the dismissal and possibly weedle out a REAL reason but all I got was "Sorry, man...".

I have a gut feeling that they may have lost a few gigs as a result of my vacation time and the guitarist acted in a fit of frustration and convinced the rest of the band to ditch me and get a new guy...
HOWEVER, I had offered to contact a fellow bass player months before i flew out to fill in for me while I was out if it meant playing gigs and keeping up with prac. The band mutually agreed not to bring someone else in because it would "disrupt the flow" and left it at that.

Anyway, what's done is done. Not gonna do my head in over it and just enjoy the rest of my holiday. My main band is still my main band. I'm just glad this sort of drama doesn't exist in that circle.

**mjac28** · #2 01-28-2013, 08:20 PM

I'm not in a band and I guess I don't understand all of the fighting and firing that goes on may I ask why you are in more than one band?

two fingers · #3 01-28-2013, 08:22 PM

Ha! You are better off without the dipsticks. I get so tired of commitment speeches from idiots who are going nowhere fast. If I hear the word commitment in the first 30 minutes of talking with a band, I split so fast it makes their heads spin. If you really want me to commit to something, it had better be established and paying big time money. If you want me to spend two years digging deeper and deeper into debt and misery with you, and commit to you just to save YOUR pride, no thanks.
Musicians, why are so many so unrealistic? Oy.

metlman72 · #4 01-28-2013, 08:24 PM

I wouldn't even let that rent any space in my head. If it was your #1 band maybe but a side project.... nay. I still don't see how you guys can do the multiple band thing any way.

**mjac28** · #5 01-28-2013, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two fingers

Ha! You are better off without the dipsticks. I get so tired of commitment speeches from idiots who are going nowhere fast. If I hear the word commitment in the first 30 minutes of talking with a band, I split so fast it makes their heads spin. If you really want me to commit to something, it had better be established and paying big time money. If you want me to spend two years digging deeper and deeper into debt and misery with you, and commit to you just to save YOUR pride, no thanks.
Musicians, why are so many so unrealistic? Oy.

+100000

temmrich · #6 01-28-2013, 08:30 PM

My current band is on a bit of a hiatus due to our drummer having some personal issues that are preventing him from being able to gig or practice (completely legitimate and as they are personal, I won't delve into them). The rest of us are a bit restless, but since he's part of the band we are extending him the same courtesy we know he would extend to any one of us and we're being patient.
I get the feeling that if they were ready to dismiss you so readily for such an understandable situation, especially after turning down a temp bassist (that was an extremely classy and thoughtful move on your part), then they really just wanted something to complain about. Some bands (ie bandmembers) feel that if the band isn't progressing to absolute greatness then there's a reason (and it's never that guys fault).
You've got another band, a main band actually, so be happy that you can spend a little more time dedicated to them. And the next time you go on vacation, you know that they will be understanding about it.
I think it's a blessing for you.

El Raro · #7 01-28-2013, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjac28

I'm not in a band and I guess I don't understand all of the fighting and firing that goes on may I ask why you are in more than one band?

Just a side project. My main band has been taking a bit of a break these last few months because some of us are in their final year of university so its time to buckle down. Since I work full-time, I needed another band to occupy my freetime.

Quote:

Originally Posted by metlman72

I wouldn't even let that rent any space in my head. If it was your #1 band maybe but a side project.... nay. I still don't see how you guys can do the multiple band thing any way.

That's pretty much the reason I'm not gutted or anything. This band was always going to take a backseat to my main band but that's not to say I was going to put in any less effort. As above, my main band is on a break so I just needed another outlet. If it came time to focus all my attention on my main band, I would have still offered to get a replacement for them as not to leave them out to dry. I just don't find the sense in burning bridges with local musicians - regardless of how small or big they are. Unfortunately, they don't seem to feel the same way.

Flyingfrets · #8 01-29-2013, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temmrich

My current band is on a bit of a hiatus due to our drummer having some personal issues that are preventing him from being able to gig or practice (completely legitimate and as they are personal, I won't delve into them). The rest of us are a bit restless, but since he's part of the band we are extending him the same courtesy we know he would extend to any one of us and we're being patient.

Nice to hear that my band isn't the only one that operates with some integrity. September 2011, I had spinal surgery, last August, our drummer had to have his shoulder reconstructed, and tomorrow, I'm having prostate cancer surgery (yeah, gettin' old sucks, but it beats the alternative).

Sure, we get antsy, but as you said, we are this band and we're not about to sack somebody for issues that are beyond their control. Yes, there's the fact that playing together has become intuitive and not a lot needs to be said at practice or on stage, but working well together aside, we enjoy one another's company. Can't think of a reason that would be worth screwing with a mix that works.

It also just seems to be the right thing to do...

zfunkman · #9 01-29-2013, 09:58 AM

about 4 months ago I joined a band. They claimed that they played strictly for fun, practiced once a week and gigged about every 4-6 weeks, played obsure funk tunes. Sounded like a fun part time gig. After joining I learned 26 tunes in two weeks and was pretty much ready to gig. NO gigs ever came. The musicanship was ok, not great but good enough to have fun. After learning the songs they then informed me that they do them different. They also said they were all learning 6 new songs which meant they wouldn't be working on the songs I learned and relearned. They were horrible at rehearsing new songs; I learned them all and turns out everyone else learned them at rehearsal. Rehearsals seemed to be full of noodling and discussions on what to play. I was feeling like the only pro level musician in the band. After putting in all that work I got a call and told I was no longer needed and that "I was a great guy" and they were looking for a bass player with a different feel. First of all I need no validation on what a great guy I am. Second, for a band of "weekend warriors" that were in it for the fun they were way too serious and a bit full of themselves and not nearly as good as they thought they were. I also play in a jazz/fusion group and they all laughed at the prospect of those tools kicking me out. I could of spent that time doubling down on my jazz/fusion project as the musicanship is much higher. Lesson . . . DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH INFERIOR MUSICIANS NO MATTER HOW MUCH FUN IT MIGHT BE. . . you will never be respected.

bluewine · #10 01-29-2013, 10:10 AM

Depends on what you want, full time gigging band or just for fun jaming with "dudes"

I say, find one band and one band only that has want you want out of a band and give it your full committment.

Blue

Sonic · #11 01-30-2013, 07:00 PM

My ex-guitarist and current drummer were still doing a little project despite said guitarist burning every bridge he's ever set foot on. My drummer is an extremely cool and forgiving [read stoned] dude and figured he'd give him another shot. So they form a band and start practicing about once a week. Now, our band puts up our facebook page and instantaneously get a big rush of support (more likes in the first 3 days than previous band had at all). So what does guitarist do? He convinces their bass player that my drummer isn't 'committed' enough and they decide to do "their own thing." The singer, who's 21 and got a bright future, saw through the BS and didn't go along with them. Now myself, drummer, and other singer(who plays a bit of guitar) might do some stuff together for fun on the side. 5 months later and I still see the ad ex-guitarist and his bassist have online looking for a singer/drummer. Moral of the story: the word 'commitment' is a red flag to be avoided at all costs.

**Stumbo** · #12 01-30-2013, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Raro

This is despite shedding out a good few grand on rehearsal time, recording time and even shouting (paying for) other members when they were short on cash (which I was quick to remind them of).

A few grand? and covering the other Richardhead's share?

Ingrates.

Bert Slide · #13 01-30-2013, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjac28

I'm not in a band and I guess I don't understand all of the fighting and firing that goes on may I ask why you are in more than one band?

So when this kinda thing happens, you are still in a band!

**mjac28** · #14 01-30-2013, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bert Slide

So when this kinda thing happens, you are still in a band!

LOL I get it.

klejst · #15 01-31-2013, 01:40 PM

Just think of it this way, as long as you are in the clear on your end and there is no real reason to justify them kicking you out but they still did then you are probably better off without them anyways. Who knows they could see the error of their ways and come crawling back to you then you can decide from there to stuff it back in their face or give them another shot.

fraublugher · #16 02-01-2013, 10:53 AM

Yes , today commited is synonymous with delugionally narcissistic .

This is the one case where the cure has fewer side-effects than the disease.

invader3k · #17 02-03-2013, 07:45 AM

If you were paying for the bulk of the expenses, my guess is their "band" quickly implodes when no one else is willing or able to pony up any cash to keep things going.

obimark · #18 02-03-2013, 08:05 AM

Just to be fair, you probably shouldn't be in 2 bands if you have to go back to your "home" county for 6 weeks at a time. That is a bit much.

fraublugher · #19 02-03-2013, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by obimark

Just to be fair, you probably shouldn't be in 2 bands if you have to go back to your "home" county for 6 weeks at a time. That is a bit much.

No it isn't.

obimark · #20 02-03-2013, 02:05 PM

Really? Oh, this is a basement band then if six weeks is not a long time. Here in the real world once you start getting even a little bit of popularity you have a gig at least once a month, possibly two-three times. In the US a two week vacation is usually as long as anyone takes.