Not enough dedication?

dozicusmaximus · #1 11-16-2009, 02:31 PM

I am in a metal band with 3 guitards (one is the singer), hippie drummer, and me on bass.
Lately the 7 string player, has had attitude. Ever since he found out his wife is prego. Which isnt the problem.
I had an informal "band meeting" to see where everyone is at. I asked where their dedication level is. The 7 stringer said his in it all the way. But he cant make it to the next show because he has to wake up at 5am the next day. But it's not for work or anything like that. It is for fun. He didn't even try to say I'll see if i can work something out... nothing.
Which takes me back to our 1st show, he wasn't going to make it to that one either. But he ended up coming.
Should we just get rid of him?

He is a good dude and a good player. I think he is just going to hold us back. We've had practice without him, and we sound full. When hes gone its definitly noticable. But not a dramatic change in sound.
Another problem is that he is really good friends with the lead guitarist. And he is scared to ruin his friendship. I'm ready to give him the boot. This is my first real band.
Any advice?
Thanks

**jmattbassplaya** · #2 11-16-2009, 04:21 PM

Talk to everyone about the issue again because apparently everyone has a different definition of dedicated. To me, someone skipping gigs for pure pleasure purposes is not dedication. It`s a slap in the face.
See what everyone else thinks. Remember, this doesn`t have to be anything personal towards the guitarist. Just let him know(assuming everyone agrees with you) that you guys are just much more dedicated and you guys expect the same amount of devotion from everyone. If he can step up then cool, but if he keeps skipping gigs because he has "something better to do" then it`s time to give him the boot.

Jim Campbell · #3 11-16-2009, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dozicusmaximus

I am in a metal band with 3 guitards (one is the singer), hippie drummer, and me on bass.
Lately the 7 string player, has had attitude. Ever since he found out his wife is prego. Which isnt the problem.
I had an informal "band meeting" to see where everyone is at. I asked where their dedication level is. The 7 stringer said his in it all the way. But he cant make it to the next show because he has to wake up at 5am the next day. But it's not for work or anything like that. It is for fun. He didn't even try to say I'll see if i can work something out... nothing.
Which takes me back to our 1st show, he wasn't going to make it to that one either. But he ended up coming.
Should we just get rid of him?

He is a good dude and a good player. I think he is just going to hold us back. We've had practice without him, and we sound full. When hes gone its definitly noticable. But not a dramatic change in sound.
Another problem is that he is really good friends with the lead guitarist. And he is scared to ruin his friendship. I'm ready to give him the boot. This is my first real band.
Any advice?
Thanks

i'm dedicated to this issue too and....oh, look at the time,oprahs on,gotta run

TortillaChip520 · #4 11-16-2009, 07:33 PM

if it doesn't sound bad without him, just play the show without him. you don't have to kick him out to play a show he can't make it to.

Joe Black · #5 11-16-2009, 07:37 PM

Keep the guitarist...but fire the hippy drummer. Urgh: that same old Grateful Dead beat.....over and over and over.

And the stench of patchouli. Urf.

Jim Campbell · #6 11-16-2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dozicusmaximus

I am in a metal band with 3 guitards (one is the singer), hippie drummer, and me on bass.
Lately the 7 string player, has had attitude. Ever since he found out his wife is prego. Which isnt the problem.
I had an informal "band meeting" to see where everyone is at. I asked where their dedication level is. The 7 stringer said his in it all the way. But he cant make it to the next show because he has to wake up at 5am the next day. But it's not for work or anything like that. It is for fun. He didn't even try to say I'll see if i can work something out... nothing.
Which takes me back to our 1st show, he wasn't going to make it to that one either. But he ended up coming.
Should we just get rid of him?

He is a good dude and a good player. I think he is just going to hold us back. We've had practice without him, and we sound full. When hes gone its definitly noticable. But not a dramatic change in sound.
Another problem is that he is really good friends with the lead guitarist. And he is scared to ruin his friendship. I'm ready to give him the boot. This is my first real band.
Any advice?
Thanks

well jokes aside,therre is a big difference between someone who talks dedication and the nuts and bolts of it.....i'd start looking for a sub now and maybe a replacement if things don't improve

Kenny Allyn · #7 11-16-2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

i'm dedicated to this issue too and....oh, look at the time,oprahs on,gotta run

Just cut it down to three of you ... and make it a POWER TRIO you can make more money!

...Sorry JC, couldn't resist

Jim Campbell · #8 11-16-2009, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny Allyn

Just cut it down to three of you ... and make it a POWER TRIO you can make more money!

...Sorry JC, couldn't resist

touche'

Kenny Allyn · #9 11-16-2009, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

touche'

Now I gotta buy you a BBQ huh!

... But only if you look presentable enough to go into the resturant!

Jim Campbell · #10 11-16-2009, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny Allyn

Now I gotta buy you a BBQ huh!

... But only if you look presentable enough to go into the resturant!

i got a long way to go just to see presentable.....but the bbq,sounds good as memphis horns

dozicusmaximus · #11 11-16-2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TortillaChip520

if it doesn't sound bad without him, just play the show without him. you don't have to kick him out to play a show he can't make it to.

It's more because he is putting other things before the band. I thought his priorities were different than what they are.
Thanks for the other suggestions guys.
I was thinkin about it. We should give him an ultimatum. Pick up the slack or go home.
I think that would be more than fair. But, I'm afraid if we do that it's going to have the same result. And it will make him feel like everyone is against him. He hasn't brought much of anything into the creative process/writing so far either.

MNAirHead · #12 11-16-2009, 11:51 PM

IF you're not really gigging.. if the gig isn't really a big payer etc.. probbaly not a big deal..

ONLY if you have big $$$ gigs dependant on him make it important.

El Bajo · #13 11-17-2009, 04:49 AM

It could be that since he found out he has a baby on the way its a lot to take in. I know. You have to reevaluate whats important. As time gets on closer to the birth you will see him even less as he has to be there for his woman, which is way more important in my opinion. I was fortunate with my band as they gave me the time off when needed to take care of things and also plenty of time after the birth to adjust (which 4 months on I'm still doing) He may be geting pressure from his girlfriend to spend more time with her that the band, and even to quit, if he values his balls he shouldnt disagree in a hurry because the those hormones are killer. it may be best asking him if he just wants to take more of a back seat rythm roll until he gets his head straightened out so that he can come and go as he pleases for the next 8/12 months.

Also give him the option of opting out with no hard feelings with the view of possibly coming back next year.

BillMason · #14 11-17-2009, 04:54 AM

When he stacks up his priorities, he's probably realizing "you know, it's just a band. I'm bringing a brand new human into the world!" Cut the guy some slack, if he can't make it to the gig, so what, you already have two guitar players, you don't *need* him there. Give him the space he needs and wants, and allow him in when he wants to be there, he ain't costing you anything.

dozicusmaximus · #15 11-17-2009, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Bajo

Also give him the option of opting out with no hard feelings with the view of possibly coming back next year.

Thats a good idea.
Yah, I'm not mad at him for having a child. That would be stupid. I would be a little weird too. I understand that part, Family first. We only practice once a week as it is. Its just frustrating to deal with the fact that he says one thing and does another, often.
I guess on Saturday, we'll have to sit down and make him talk. Say whats on his mind, hes usually pretty quiet. And decide whats best for him, what he wants to do.

DeluxeRed · #16 11-17-2009, 08:36 AM

I'm sorry...having to clean-up my coffee spew after I read "metal band" complaining about a guitard having "attitude". If I wuz in a metal band, I'd think that'd be a requirement! But good for you not wanting to put up with pussies.

Don't waste your time with him, though. If you want to take control of this band, sounds like the guy you're gonna have to fight is the lead guitard with which the daddy-pussy is bff. Tell him "There's no babies in metal!", then sock him in the face before he can react. (Be sure to use the palm of your hand. Can't be breaking any fingers--unless you use a pick.)

Good luck and keep swinging th' hammer!

PS--if a rookie like you had asked me about "commitment", I'd have told you to $*%&-off. Then what would you have done?

dukaruk · #17 11-17-2009, 09:55 AM

You need to frame the conversation differently. Agree on what your goals are and talk about how you can specifically achieve them. Then, you ask if everyone is on board/dedicated.

Marley's Ghost · #18 11-21-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dukaruk

You need to frame the conversation differently. Agree on what your goals are and talk about how you can specifically achieve them. Then, you ask if everyone is on board/dedicated.

That approach is not very "metal"

BillMason · #19 11-21-2009, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marley's Ghost

That approach is not very "metal"

It would be if they had the conversation in a gothic castle over glasses of blood.

chrls_vns · #20 11-21-2009, 10:49 PM

Had the same situation with our manager.. she wasn't cutting it.. and to make things worse, she was married to one of our guitar players who wasn't willing to play with us unless his wife was our manager...

To make a long story short, we got rid of both of them!! We've started booking our own gigs and have replaced the guitar player.. and we're much better off now.

My advice.. drop the dead weight now.. don't let it turn into a bunch of drama because if you just wait around thinking things will get better, you'll be waiting forever. Just my 2 cents..