Old Band Members Still Dragging You In??

[tlwaps]

Just out of curiosity do any of your previous band members call you to complain to you about the same stuff that was going on when you were in the band or about the same members?

My former singer called me the other day complaining that the band we were in together kicked him out after they found a replacement drummer for a different vocalist. I haven't been in the band since April or May and they still call me to complain about each other. I told him that he's better off because of the egotistical guitarists in the band will go no where because nobody wants to jam with them, let alone form a band with them. They're always right, you're always wrong. Yet when it came down to financial matters they wouldn't help, but if they did put in $10 they'd want $20 back.

Does this happen to any of you? Former bands or band members calling you to complain about the way things are going in the band?

[mrkreuzschlitz]

They never call me, but the same crap they pull with me,
they pull with new guys.

My band is breaking up (playing our last show this month) and the vocalist started another band, so my drummer (who works really well with me) and I are doing it with him.

The guitarists in the band listen to me, I've played with them before. The guitarist in my band now,

not so much.

[QORC]

Originally Posted by tlwaps

Just out of curiosity do any of your previous band members call you to complain to you about the same stuff that was going on when you were in the band or about the same members?

My former singer called me the other day complaining that the band we were in together kicked him out after they found a replacement drummer for a different vocalist. I haven't been in the band since April or May and they still call me to complain about each other. I told him that he's better off because of the egotistical guitarists in the band will go no where because nobody wants to jam with them, let alone form a band with them. They're always right, you're always wrong. Yet when it came down to financial matters they wouldn't help, but if they did put in $10 they'd want $20 back.

Does this happen to any of you? Former bands or band members calling you to complain about the way things are going in the band?

Yes, it's happened.

but mostly I don't talk to a lot of ex-band members. But I know that the crap they pulled with me continues. How do I know? I see that a couple of them have had multiple changes in the other members. no stability. And still playing the same few crappy bars.

Now I'm in a hugely successful band in another State. It makes me smile knowing that the jerk-offs from the old band have actually regressed since I left.

[junglegirl]

How do you know they have had band member changes unless you are checking up on them? That must mean they still have some type of hold on you. If I were you, I wouldn't even look in on them (via website, etc.) They are in your past. You are in a successful band, so keep moving on.

[QORC]

no hold on me. I would never play with any of them again, even if I still lived there.

Just curious and wanted to confirm what I suspected -- that the way they treated me is the way they would treat others and that, despite their bravado, they would be stuck and going nowhere.

It's not like I'm regularly on their sites. Think I looked 2 times in the last year. *shrugs*

Just gave me a measure of satisfaction that I've blown so far past them. *shrugs*

I looked a couple of old college girlfriends on my alumni directory to see what they have been up to, although I've been married 18 years. I don't want to see them again. just curious. I'm human.

[junglegirl]

I here ya! I've been playing for over 20 years and I've played with my share of jerks and yes, have been "dismissed" from bands. At my age, I just play and have fun. No offense, but you sound young...my guess is early 20's?

OOps...if you're married 18 years, you're not in your early 20's...and I thought I was giving "motherly advice."

[whitedk57]

Originally Posted by mrkreuzschlitz

They never call me, but the same crap they pull with me,
they pull with new guys.

My band is breaking up (playing our last show this month) and the vocalist started another band, so my drummer (who works really well with me) and I are doing it with him.

The guitarists in the band listen to me, I've played with them before. The guitarist in my band now,

not so much.

Huh?

[tlwaps]

Originally Posted by junglegirl

How do you know they have had band member changes unless you are checking up on them? That must mean they still have some type of hold on you. If I were you, I wouldn't even look in on them (via website, etc.) They are in your past. You are in a successful band, so keep moving on.

They like to call or e-mail me every couple months to fill me in as to what's going on. I just don't get it. The band I was in before them formed a new band, basically the same members but with a different name and a new bassist, well from what I've seen after doing a few shows with them they're on their 4th bassist and their 3rd or 4th singer, something tells me that things haven't changed.

[TFunkadelic]

The post-breakup symptoms and happenings of bands and girlfriends are often very similar I've found.

[Smaz]

My response: "Yup, that's why I left."

That's about all...

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by tlwaps

Does this happen to any of you? Former bands or band members calling you to complain about the way things are going in the band?

Ya know, you could put a stop to this - if you really wanted to. Why make it seem as if you're somehow powerless to prevent this drain upon your time and energy?

Nobody is going to "drag you in" unless you allow them to do so. Just stop empowering them...

MM

[crow01]

A former band member used to call frequently and start bitching about this and that. I told him dude, get a shrink or get a girlfriend.

He didn't call back. I wonder what he got?

[spade2you]

LOL, not at all. A strong majority of my former bandmates made burning bridges an art form!