Old issues and old band jerks, new problems

[Mooch]

Hi all,

Just wanted to bounce this off some people and see if I should let this get to me or not.

My best bud and I have been playing together for years and years now. Outside of music we are best friends. We had an old band that was rather successful and we had 6 members in the band. Well my friend kinda just walked out after issues with our drummer.

While and absolutely amazing drummer he was the biggest jerk I have ever been around which lead to me quitting 3 weeks after my friend quit because of something he said to me demeaning me at a practice.

Well during that 3 weeks I was trying to stick it out all he did non-stop was rip my buddy apart after all the time and work we had spent with this band over 8 years together. And he was so quick to throw him under the bus.

Well they went on and replaced us and things had been going well for them and this is all over about 5 years now since we left. After straightening things out in ours lives and me learning to play bass we finally have gotten something going now with a drummer and a new guitar player since January.

Well now or old jerk drummers rather good gig has just fell apart after a lot of work on their parts to succeed which I commend them on. But not after being defunct for 2 weeks he calls up my friend to come play with them. I told him how I felt about it all(rather pissed off because I feel like he is just using my friend to help himself out) he is going over to his place tomorrow to hear what he has to say.

Our goal is to snag our old guitar player at the same time its eating at me that this guy called my buddy after all the things he said about him. My friend says he is going to get some things off his chest and talk to the other guy but left it open to maybe doing our thing and this thing with this douche drummer.

I'm sure its just me but its eating at me.

Just wanna know what you guys would feel if you were in the same shoes after everything I said and have been through. Sorry for the long post but its kinda a dumb long story to explain.

[Stumbo]

Looks like you'll have to draw the line with your "friend". Speak up, stand up for what you know to be the right thing to do (hang out with db's).

Wish him luck on his new project and do your own thing, if necessary.

Sounds like he's throwing you under the bus this time.

I'd straight ask him "what are you thinking?".

or maybe the db has changed? nah, I don't think so.

[ChrisB2]

My opinion is to let it play out and remain calm and cool. Nothing good will come from getting all steamed. It's been a lot of years. I agree with Stumbo, the guy probably didn't change, but your friend said he was going over there to let the DB have a piece of his mind, and to try to snag the other guitarist. Maybe that's all that will happen. If it turns out the DB drummer really did change, and is all humble and stuff, maybe you should be willing to forgive him. I would let it play out and see how it goes. We don't own our friends; they're free to do whatever. I would not let this get to me.

Good luck!

[bassteban]

*An* amazing drummer, not *AND* amazing drummer. That's the crux of the prob, IMO.

[Mooch]

Well he went over there and met with them both. The guitarist is coming over to hear us and maybe play with us after he hears us. Which is cool he was our old guitar player and a cool dude.

But my buddy is gonna play with our old drummer. But to make a long story short he has a gimmick and going for some rap/pop thing and wearing costumes. So after hearing that I'm not too worried and it won't interfere with our thing so. Unless this gimmick thing takes off(snore) I'm sure all will be well.