Older Guy any hope?

[John Webb]

I'm 53.
Been playing about 1.5 years this time. Played Trumpet and bass as a kid.
Taking lessons now.
Would love to play in a part time gigging band sometime b4 I die but I'm finding it very difficult to find like musicians.
Tried out for 4 bands so far:
1st couldn't stand the cigarettes and the music bored me but they wanted me.
2nd No fit. Drummer had a cooler of beer next to his kit during the audition. Guitarist could not tell me what chords he was playing. They didn't want me which was prolly a good thing.
3rd Seemed like a fit. Gave me a song list and a CD. Told me to learn the 20 songs. Learned 12 of the 20 then they disappeared.
4th Seemed like a good fit. They didn't want me and wouldn't say why. Drummer and wife/lead singer seemed as interested in drinking during the audition as in playing. Again prolly a good thing?

Maybe I just suck and need more practice.
Any advice?
jpw

[Silas Martinez]

I'm frustrated by some of the projects I've worked with recently as well (for different reasons, and I'm in a different situation, but still)....

The best advice I can give is:

Don't give up. Pay attention to the local craigslist and myspace classifieds, if there are any that are applicable in your area.

Keep practicing. Get a teacher if you can - often a teacher can also help you find bands that may need someone with your abilities (but the teaching/learning is more important).

Check local music stores for posted ads, as well as possibly newspapers, etc.

Attend a few open mike nights - talk to the people playing for them. Get to know other local musicians. If you are involved in a church, find out about praise groups (if that interests you).

All I can think of for now - basically, finding a band is a matter of networking.

[John Wentzien]

If you are looking for 'PERFECTION' amongst musicians-- good luck-- Musicians are a strange breed---part of being one is having this understanding and dealing with it. Otherwise---"welcome to the basement"

[Vanceman]

I didn't start playing until I was 45. My first ad for bass player looking for band went something like: "Bass player with moderate experience and talent looking for guys to jam with, have a beer, have some fun. No serious musicians need apply".

I wasn't looking to be in a gigging band at the time, so if you meet some people who are happy just to play in the garage, that's great. You have to make some compromises in the beginning, just so you can play. I was lucky to me like minded people.

It seems there was a little too much drinking, especially for an audition, but don't be afraid to lower you standards in the beginning. You can always quit.

[BigOleBoogie]

I just started playing again last year at age 38, not yet in your age range (maybe) but I joined a band that seemed to be fine.

Then....one guitarist quit, the other wasn't good and we voted him out. The keyboardist quit thinking she would be next anyway. The three of us remaining gathered two more and kept on and we played out. The drummer and singer liked to smoke weed a bit and motivation (collectively) was low as well as commitment to the band.

I vented my frustrations to an old friend and what I got back was "if the sole existance of this band is to get you playing out again then their lives have been worth living".

There may be a bit of "paying dues" when getting it going again and we never know what that payment may be. I am now in a busy band in a better situation with no drug use and the only people that drink are me and the keyboard player with a couple of beers at a gig or out with the band but not at practice.

One can usually feel a vibe while kicking the tires but there are no perfect situations. As we get older we also become less tolerable of people and their behaviors.

[emesen]

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll - most people join bands for those reasons, in that order and the more bands that I find myself in, the more I realize they are on some level the same. For something that may musically function as a group - the people playing may not always - there are egos, flaky drummers, day jobs, etc... contend with. It is tough to find people that are serious about the music - the last band I was in, our drummer's (who couldn't keep time) favorite thing was to pull out his sell phone and show us all the pics he took of all the girls he was with on his last "tour"... Nothing is perfect, especially in the music world - so keep looking and you'll find a project that will suit you...

[Matthew Bryson]

Yes, there is hope for an "older guy".

I'm only 32 - but I'm kind of inexperienced (only been playing bass about 6.5 years) I used to worry a lot about my age and my abilities. I don't anymore. I've found a LOT of guys my age and older that are playing music as a hobby. I've found plenty of folks with families and careers that want to rehearase twice a week and play a gig every month or two.

We just lost our 50 year old drummer and replaced him with a 44 year old drummer (we're moving in a hipper, younger direction... j/k...) ... we did not even miss a single jam - we played with our old drummer on a Friday and the next week played twice with the new guy.

Before I found this group - I auditioned for a few others. I found a lot of losers and fools who still think they're going to get signed and be a rock star. You just have to be picky and hold out for the right group - there are other guys just like you out there. Be patient and don't settle. There are a lot of guys playing in hobby bands that are in the 35 to 55 (and up) age range.

You are not too old. Age is not a factor on this one.

You do need to go on more auditions though - otherwise it's like saying you've been out on 4 dates and still can't find a wife... well, keep looking!

[MysticMichael]

It's difficult to find people who have a truly professional mindset about music. It's a lot like dating, or job-hunting, or any other endeavor that requires you to screen a large number of other people: There are a lot of unsatisfactory options out there, so you have to qualify the situation quickly, then be prepared to cut your losses ASAP...

My advice, FWIW: Don't allow your age to become an issue. It shouldn't be anyway, but you know human nature...

Take khaspir's advice: Focus on developing your musicianship, and play as much as possible in informal situations such as open mike nights & jams. Know what you want to accomplish musically, then focus on it.

Finding or developing the right band is as much a matter of chemistry and good timing as anything else. Become a total groove machine on the bass, as you raise your public profile. Soon you'll have bands coming out of the woodwork to recruit you. Then, you'll be in the driver's seat...

MM

[Busker]

Heck yeah there's hope.

I'm 48. I don't have years of experience on bass, or gigging, or being in bands. I've probably got 2 years "equivalent" experience on bass just because I played the guitar for many, many years. But I've only been really learning bass since last year.

1st audition, failed. They sorta wanted me, but I was too green and could not sing and play bass at the same time.

2nd audition, failed. Some kind of psychobilly original stuff that I wasn't really into. They were too wild for me and there were far too many beer cans littering the place. Didn't care for the music or the scene.

3rd audition, failed. I told the guy over the phone I really didn't know any metal music but he wanted me to audition anyway, because they couldn't find ANY bass player, so I went. Turned out to be a waste of time.

4th audition, hired. My first band ever. But after some weeks it became apparent that they were never going to get out of the basement and get a gig - at least not in any reasonable amount of time, so I had to leave. Plus, a lot of their song selections I didn't agree with.

5th audition, hired. Pretty good potential with this band, or so I thought. I learned their 40 or so Rock cover songs, we eventually played two gigs. The singer and drummer were always boozing it up, torching it up. The singer flat out ruined our first gig from being too loaded to do his job, and he was only slightly better the second. Life is too short to waste on other people's partying, so I quit.

6th audition, hired. A country/rock band with potential. The front men are a pair of singer/songwriters, young, good looking, star potential, no kidding. I'm old enough to be the father of any of the guys in the band though. The drummer is only 22, and he is great. I'm sure they wondered "who is the grandpa" their manager sent over for the audition. But I think they are starting to get used to me. Plus, I learned the songs pretty quickly, something their last bass player didn't do for whatever reason.

So yeah. There's hope. Don't give up.

[Busker]

Originally Posted by MysticMichael

Become a total groove machine on the bass, as you raise your public profile. Soon you'll have bands coming out of the woodwork to recruit you. Then, you'll be in the driver's seat...

MM

Man, that would be nice. That's my next goal, to become that groove machine. Right now I'm just yer basic bassist. But bands need yer basic bassists too, or they will settle for one, if the groove machine isn't available.

[butchblack]

Hi

You didn't mention what styles of music you wanted to play. However, a lot of posters have made good suggestions like perseverance and networking. It's also easier if the area you're in has an active local music scene. I was in a similar situation. I stopped playing for like 12 years in large part due to a poor local music scene and an inability to find people to play with. I moved back to the Boston area and slowly resurrected my music career.

Finding a band that's a good fit is a PIA at times. I've done duty in a house band for a jam, a less then equal member of a band that played only one club. My latest search for a band was a couple of get togethers that didn't pan out, an audition that I thought went well, but then they wanted a second meeting that never happened. Finally, I landed with a band that appears to be a great fit, material, temperament and personality wise.

Keep taking lessons and if there are any open jams in your area, hit them. Make friends with bands that are doing the type of material you like, as they are often good sources of leads, and you'll get a reputation as a good guy.

The other thing that I noticed in your post was references to drinking. Unfortunately, drinking and musicians all too often go hand in hand. If you're looking to play local clubs, some drinking is inevitable. Decide where your limit is for your band mates drinking. Don't join a band if their drinking or drugging level makes you uncomfortable. My audition with my current band was 90° and humid. One drank Gatorade, the other water. Being a very light drinker myself, that scored major points with me. There are too many war stories of band mates excesses to not consider it.

Finally, believe that the right situation will arrive when the time is right.

Hope this helps.

[lpdeluxe]

John Webb, you're still a kid. The youngest guy in my working band is in the mid-50s. The person with whom I formed the band and I gigged as a duo + drum machine, and when we decided to expand, we posted a card at the local music store that we were looking for a "mature" lead player and drummer.

[For a while we had a 40-something pedal steel player, but he didn't fit it. He wanted to solo all the time. You get to our age, and you learn to wait for the right time to solo. I went to see his band last month, and it was hard to tell "Johnnie B Goode" from "He Stopped Loving Her Today." Everybody wanted to play all the way through all the songs.]

Oddly enough, I'm another John W.! Take heart: there are a LOT of guys out there who don't want to deal with the drummer's girl friend or the singer's ego and just want to make music.

If you find the right people, material will suggest itself and gigs will follow. One word of advice: avoid so-called benefits. They never "benefit" the musicians. Instead, check out restaurants and clubs (if you play music people can dance to [our specialty] managers will ask you back).

Good luck and have fun.

[lpdeluxe]

Well, I left something important out: this band formed last summer. The singer and I started gigging in April of last year, and he and I first met at a gig four years ago when he needed a bass player.

So it's not necessarily about just hanging around for years.

And another thing: although I've been playing bass for many years, part-time, I was always an electric lead/harmonica/Dobro player in previous bands.

Which leads to my last point: love of the bass will carry you along for a pretty good ride. I'm having the time of my life.

[88persuader]

I've been a gigging musician all my life. I'm now 50 and have all the work i can handle ... BUT I'm VERY experenced and well connected in my area. I don't think your AGE is your big problem, it's your lack of experience. You can definitely find musicians your age who don't act like children but you need to be persistant and "keep the faith!" Thing is a lot of musicians ... especially beginners, (non-professionals) aren't very serious about music. They're in it for the party. And needless to say a lot of pros are also waste products! :-) But serious musicians OUR age are out there.

Check adds as has already been mentioned. Place an add yourself stating your wants, needs and your age. Trust me you don't want to show up at an audition for a band of teens. Do you take lessons? Ask your teacher to help you out. Put adds up at music stores. Are you interested in worship music? There are a lot of adult musicians who are very happy playing that type of thing. I guess my point is you have a lot of options. Just keep looking but know what you want. You can always find a cellar JAM BAND of party people and gain experience with them while looking for something more serious. Experience is very important. In music sometimes the journey is more important then the destination. You don't have to make big promises ... jam with people, learn your craft and as I said ... don't give up on your dream!

Good luck and have fun!

[John Webb]

Originally Posted by butchblack

Hi
You didn't mention what styles of music you wanted to play.

Blues, Funk, Rock in no particular order.
Some simple Jazz wouldn't hurt either.........

Thanks everyone for your input........and hope.......

jpw

[southpaw]

I guess sometimes you just get lucky. I'm 57 and have been playing bass about 7 years. Our lead guitar player/singer is 56, 2nd guitar player is 48 and our drummer is 45. We've been together for about 4 years, everyone gets along, all of us sing except the drummer, and we do about 100 gigs a year. The guys I've hooked up with are serious musicians who have been playing all of their lives, thus forcing me to become an even better player. It is definately a whole lot of fun.

[ape]

I'm glad I found this thread. This really heartens my outlook. Started playing bass in 1983, played consistently through 1991. The marriage, kids, career, etc.. took their toll and I really didn't pick the bass back up till this year (off and on pulling it out of the case, dusting off and playing some old 80's metal not withstanding). I've decided to do this the right way and have been studying some theory (when the job allows). I responded to one craiglist posting in my area (Beaverton, OR), but when they found out my age (38), they didn't think it would work out as they were all 19. Funny thing is, they sounded just like Bad Religion and I thought to myself "Hey, that band is all guys my age...".

Guess that I'll just keep plugging away...

--ape--

[lpdeluxe]

If you watch MTV, you think everybody must be 19 and cute.

Not so. I ran into a friend at the grocery today. He's in his 70s, and we talked about the bands we are in!

Several years ago, I had moved into recording on the theory that I was too old to be in a band.

Not so.

There's an old saying, that experience and deviousness trump youth and enthusiasm, and I think it must be true.

Plus, I enjoy telling people "We're like 'N'Synch': a bunch of cute kids that got together to make it big."

[Freddels]

I sometimes think that I'm too old too but then I just think of Leland Sklar. He's older and very much in demand! Some bands won't overlook a little age, but it's their loss.

[IanStephenson]

Finding a band that fits - musically, aspirationally, personally and technically is HARD. Age is just one thing in that mix, but no matter where you are, and what you want to achieve finding a bunch of people who want the same things is tough.

I left a band I was happy with in around '95 (I left the area due to work). It was only last year I finally got hooked up with another band that actually matched what i wanted. In the mean time I had moved around a lot, and in that time got through a lot of bands that didn't work out for one reason or another:
musical differences [twice]
guitarist got ill
moving again
personal differences [singer was a control freak, and sacked everyone who played a note she hadn't approved]
drug use [singer was a junkie]
line up problems [singer got poached by a better band and we couldn't find a replacement]

That sounds like a lot of bands! Most were only a couple of rehersals before we knew things weren't right. One was two years of wasted effort (but thats another story)...

The point is it took me YEARS to find a band that fitted properly - We get on great, like the same music(ish!), can all a play, and want to get the same things out of the band. It's a big ask, so just keep plodding on.

Your problem has nothing to do with your age - it's just a problem.

Ian