Only woman. dealing with the guys

[nortonrider]

Try this:
The next time that she gives you attitude,
calmly ask her.... "What's your problem?"

sometimes the best way to handle an issue with another person is
head on - face to face.

[Joedog]

Sounds like her new knickname should be "Yoko". I agree with the advice to have a calm,
professionally done, discussion with the whole band. Good luck!

[MarkMgibson]

These situations can be weird. I played with one of the sexiest Rock & Roll chicks who ever graced a stage. Since I was just subbing, and she knew how nervous I was, she made a point of giving me hell on stage. The worst part was that she was dating (and is now married to) the drummer, who is a huge scary American dude. He couldn't care less though - it was just part of the show, and I actually think he enjoyed her antics.

My girlfriend at the time, who was thrilled when I got the gig, was suddenly asking me all these silly, jealous questions. R&R is a strange business, no doubt about it. I ditched the girlfriend (I despise jealousy), and finished the tour in peace. Got to have your priorities straight.

[Tat2dHeart]

Drummer's girlfriend is drummer's problem. If she's pestering you, and you're biting back, you're making her your problem, too. I'm the only female in my band and I just don't do this game. My band is a job (a really fun job, but a job nonetheless). Wives and girlfriends don't dictate who a man works with at his job usually, so no reason they should dictate who's in the band.

If I were in your shoes and she picked at me again, I'd simply quietly take her hand, lead her to the drummer, smile politely, introduce them to each other, then tell him, "hey - she's got some questions I just can't answer. I thought you'd be better equipped for this than me. Help her out, why don't ya?" Then I'd walk away and go work the crowd.

The girlfriends only become your dramatic problem when you make them your dramatic problem.

[rockinrayduke]

Originally Posted by Tat2dHeart

Drummer's girlfriend is drummer's problem. If she's pestering you, and you're biting back, you're making her your problem, too. I'm the only female in my band and I just don't do this game. My band is a job (a really fun job, but a job nonetheless). Wives and girlfriends don't dictate who a man works with at his job usually, so no reason they should dictate who's in the band.

If I were in your shoes and she picked at me again, I'd simply quietly take her hand, lead her to the drummer, smile politely, introduce them to each other, then tell him, "hey - she's got some questions I just can't answer. I thought you'd be better equipped for this than me. Help her out, why don't ya?" Then I'd walk away and go work the crowd.

The girlfriends only become your dramatic problem when you make them your dramatic problem.

About time a real woman stepped up to this thread. Thank you.

[joe vegas]

Not pointedly addressing this thread- but it's pretty apparent that Planet Tweet and dumbed-down-for-the-masses textspeak are leaching like mercury into 'real life', and are offhandedly replacing the structural nuances, accuracy and lyricism of written language. Less a 21st-century shorthand than a consensus-reality symptom.
The terrorists have won, without much fuss.
LOLOMFGmuahTTYL

[Downunderwonder]

Never give up.

[stagebanter]

Originally Posted by joe vegas

Not pointedly addressing this thread- but it's pretty apparent that Planet Tweet and dumbed-down-for-the-masses textspeak are leaching like mercury into 'real life', and are offhandedly replacing the structural nuances, accuracy and lyricism of written language. Less a 21st-century shorthand than a consensus-reality symptom.
The terrorists have won, without much fuss.
LOLOMFGmuahTTYL

What, exactly, is the big deal with grammar or "txtspk" on the Internet? There are volumes of beautiful poetry and brilliant writing that were composed after text messaging was invented. Language changes over time. Do you say "hot dog" whenever something good happens to you? Do you say "zounds" when you get hit in laser tag?

As long as I can understand what someone else is saying, I don't get worked up about the language. The whole point of language is to convey an idea. Sometimes, the language is part of the idea, and sometimes it's not. I have yet to see a book of txspk poemz lol published, but I'm sure it will be highly entertaining when it does come out.

[Floyd Eye]

Beat her down. Problem solved. lol

[Andyman001]

Originally Posted by Downunderwonder

Never give up.

Never surrender.







Couldn't help it

[Jazzdogg]

We have only your side of the story to go on, and your initial post didn't exactly establish your credibility, so the only thing I can offer is this:

Remain above the fray. Comport yourself as a professional. Do not engage in emotion-based exchanges. Do not mistake kindness for weakness. If you can remain dispassionate, assertive, and calm in the face of these taunts, you are likely to be considered someone not to mess with.

Good luck.

[HolmeBass]

Originally Posted by sleeplessknight

A thousand times this. Proper grammar and spelling go a long ways when you're asking other people for help/assistance/advice.

I must agree. It is difficult to take you seriously when you type like an illiterate 12 year old.

Still, tell the drummer to straighten her out, and if he doesn't, have the bouncer toss her out of the next show for threatening you with violence.

[Bert Slide]

Originally Posted by Floyd Eye

Beat her down. Problem solved. lol

....and what's the best bass for a beatdown?


A white P bass of course, just ask Sid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXCvQDCc0Zc

[Floyd Eye]

lol

[Stumbo]

Originally Posted by tld2cool

Seems my probs arnt much different then most ppl in a band. Altho... I'm about to have a serious conversation 2moro with the drummer cuz of his relationship drama. Last wk at our gig his new chic was kissing the ass of his gf. Playing like shes trying to b friends with her. Whatever, I rly dont care. But their stupid drama spilled over to me. I'm not exactly sure why & (again) dont care. Until the new chic wants to kick my ass. And thats where the lined got crossed. I'm the only woman in the band & I've already mentioned I don't wanna deal with any jealous crazy bitchs. But it seems i need to elaborate this more to him. I've talked to a couple of the other guys & they agree that it was out of line. Basically its been said that these chics r all interchangeable but I'm permanent. Which makes me feel valued as a band member. I love the music & all my mates, but I dont think I should have to deal with whatever chic prob they have.
Any advice to have this convo go smoothly is appreciated.

Seems my problems are not much different than most other people's band problems. Although... I'm about to have a serious conversation tomorrow with the drummer because of his relationship drama.

Last week at our gig, his new chick was kissing the ass of his girlfriend. Playing like she's trying to be friends with her. Whatever, I don't really care but their stupid drama spilled over to me. I'm not exactly sure why and, again, don't really care.

Until the new chic wants to kick my ass. And that's where the lined got crossed.

I'm the only woman in the band & I've already mentioned I don't wanna deal with any jealous crazy bitches.

But it seems I need to elaborate this more to him. I have talked to a couple of the other guys and they agree that it was out of line. Basically its been said that these chicks are all interchangeable but I'm permanent.

Which makes me feel valued as a band member.

I love the music & all my mates, but I do not think I should have to deal with whatever chick problems they have.

Any advice to have this conversation go smoothly is appreciated.

[BBox Bass]

I'm lucky because all the guys in my current bands are married to women who don't perceive me as a threat. They are well aware that I take my role in the bands as seriously as the men take theirs. Having said that, a few years ago I formed an acoustic duo with a guy whose wife was massively insecure. After only a few months of playing together, she made him quit. It was unfortunate, but I knew that nothing I could do would convince the wife that I had zero interest in her husband. I was ticked at first, but I eventually came to the conclusion that it was probably for the best; if we had stayed together longer, the jealousy would have escalated and I might have been the one to quit. It would not have been a pretty sight since it angers me to no end when people let their relationship drama get in the way of making music.

To the OP, be professional and stay out of the couple's games. If they keep trying to pull you in, you might want to ask yourself if they are the kind of people you want to associate with. I suspect that the drummer may be the type who has a habit of dragging other aspects of his personal life into the band. Life is too short to put up with that kind of headache.

[1958Bassman]

I guess saying "Heel!" would be a bad way to get her to settle down, eh?

[trimslinger]

Originally Posted by Bert Slide

....and what's the best bass for a beatdown?


A white P bass of course, just ask Sid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXCvQDCc0Zc

B.C. Rich..BITCH ! Start swinging till there aint no one
left standing,thats the only way ta fight krazy!
or just buy her a drink,slip in some midol, repeat as necessary

[stagebanter]

A jazz bass is appropriate for all occasions. For beatdowns, use a crimson one. Helps hide the blood stains later.

[Tat2dHeart]

Originally Posted by rockinrayduke

About time a real woman stepped up to this thread. Thank you.

De nada. All in a day's work.