pretending to be christian

#1 01-13-2009, 04:23 PM

i joined a metal band, were all ages 16-18. were best friends, we hang out when we dont have practice. Everything is just great, untill now. our singer has parents who are hardcore Christian. they will no longer let him in the band because hes questioning his faith, BUT, there is a problem. not only is he our singer and we use his warehouse to practice, but the drummer and rhythm guitarist are agnostic, and the guitarist and myself are hardcore atheists. and that is NOT making the situation any better. so, we are now going to pretend to accept christianity infront of his parents (band prayer, christian lyrics etc....). and were going to show them lyrics A, and perform lyrics B. oh, and no more black sabbath, B4MV, or Tool shirts infront of them. are we bad people?

stflbn · #2 01-13-2009, 04:28 PM

Um... I'd have to say yes.

bass_extremes · #3 01-13-2009, 04:29 PM

I dont think that is the right thing to do I think it would be best for you singer to talk to his parents about his faith.

dmusic148 · #4 01-13-2009, 04:32 PM

You'll never pull it off, ever. Get another singer/practice space. Sorry.

beggar98 · #5 01-13-2009, 04:32 PM

No, you're not bad people. His intolerant parents are. If this is what you have to do to keep the band together and its worth it to you, by all means continue. I would have fired the singer until he could get his folks under control.

DudeistMonk · #6 01-13-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote:

i joined a metal band, were all ages 16-18. were best friends, we hang out when we dont have practice. Everything is just great, untill now. our singer has parents who are hardcore Christian. they will no longer let him in the band because hes questioning his faith, BUT, there is a problem. not only is he our singer and we use his warehouse to practice, but the drummer and rhythm guitarist are agnostic, and the guitarist and myself are hardcore atheists. and that is NOT making the situation any better. so, we are now going to pretend to accept christianity infront of his parents (band prayer, christian lyrics etc....). and were going to show them lyrics A, and perform lyrics B. oh, and no more black sabbath, B4MV, or Tool shirts infront of them. are we bad people?

No, no you aren't.

Is the band going to be worth it if you can't write the lyrics you want and if you have to dress like the partridge family?

I feel very sorry for your frontman, cause you either need to dump him or he needs to be a man and tell his parents how it is... I'm agnostic and I can't tell you how many times I had yelling and screaming arguments with my parents in highschool...Then I went to college and they realized that they can't control my mind anymore, they got over it and I put on the song and dance for grandma. He might explain to them that pretending to be faithful would in and of it self be a sin and that he needs to follow his heart and do what he feels is right.

The thing with people that obsessed and controlling is that they perhaps have the weakest faith of them all, they believe out of pure fear and they hate someone who doesn't agree with them because even the sight of a non-believer calls into question their entire lives (and afterlives). They also probably fail to realize that the bigger stink they put up about this the more and more their son with distance himself from them and the more more likely he will never return to their faith.

I live my life as a testament to the fact that someone without belief in organized religion can live a better life than most. You should always be respectful but you don't have to accept someones beliefs just because they have a few years on you.

Really I don't see this ending well any way you slice it.

lowendgenerator · #7 01-13-2009, 04:35 PM

If you can pull it off without cracking up and laughing out loud, more power to ya. Or just call them on their intolerance and tell them you're all converting to Islam...That will mess with their heads.

jaebee · #8 01-13-2009, 04:35 PM

honsetly, you should tell your singer to hash this out with his parents, as its going to happen eventually (personal experience talking). lying will only make things worse, but you do what you have to in order to keep a free practice space.

uaudio · #9 01-13-2009, 04:39 PM

You might buy yourself some more time with this guy, but eventually he's going to quit if his parents have that much influence over him. Just get it over with and get a new singer. Spend more time practicing and less time scheming.

Silas Martinez · #10 01-13-2009, 04:42 PM

I would say .... lying/BSing about it will make the situation a lot worse, and pretty much insure a bad end.

I'd really suggest honesty, and if the singer can't work it out with his folks, then you need to come up with another singer/a different situation.

Basing it all on a lie, well .... sounds like a real bad move from my perspective.

NJL · #11 01-13-2009, 04:45 PM

i remember one time we were all praying before a meal and my (now ex wife) and I are playing along with everyone (we weren't the praying type, nor the type to be forced into praying).. at the end of the prayer, instead of saying Amen, she said "Gay Men"

LOL hahahaha i was dying, laughing inside bad.

Deacon_Blues · #12 01-13-2009, 04:48 PM

It's not worth trying to keep up a lie. That will only make things far worse in the long run when the bubble bursts, which it will.

In your case I'd try to either leave out any religious/non religious content from the lyrics, or write the lyrics to be more questioning than declaring. That kind of lyrics are also far more interesting as it makes you think.

By the way, I know a Swedish funk/soul band that started out when they were your age, and they have an atheist rapper and a devoted Christian singer. Most people in the band are devoted Christians actually. They are pretty successful and the band members get along very well together. Or so it seems, I've met the band twice in my jazz club... I guess it's all about respecting other people's beliefs. You can check them out here if you want: http://www.gordito.se/detfunkarweb/?sida=2

CalebWilson · #13 01-13-2009, 04:50 PM

You could always turn post-metal and not even have a singer. Pelican is one of my favourite bands. And it gives you MUCH more room for creativity for ALL of you, cos that's what post-metal is.

EDIT: @NJL: I lol'ed extremely hard, which provoked my whole family to come in and stare at my screen to see what was so funny.

EBBassMan · #14 01-13-2009, 04:50 PM

First, find yourself a new practice space. This way, you've taken over some control of your situation. Remember....they don't HAVE to let you practice there.

Your singer will still have to confront his faith issues with his parents and, more importantly, with himself. But that's between him, his parents, and God.

CapnSev · #15 01-13-2009, 04:51 PM

I don't think you're bad. The dudes parents obviously have a screw or two loose.

Hey, if you're atheist, your prayers don't go anywhere anyway right? Lying about it isn't going to get you in trouble either. So... you're bad people according to who's morals?

**Thor** · #16 01-13-2009, 04:51 PM

Find another singer and another practice space.

Telling lies to other people about your faith is deceptive. You
will not be able to maintain this myth and your band will implode.

Not are you only lying to his parents, you are lying to yourself
and no good will come of any of this, total bad karma all around.

Let's not go into any religious issues here per se, but his
problems are his to deal with and not yours. If he can't
meet his band commitments because of personal drama,
whatever they are, its time to move on.

The right response is, 'Look, we like you and we want you in
the band, but lying to your parents or anyone else in not
part of the deal.

If you do this, believe me, you will be a lot happier.

This thread is probably going to implode as well as people
somehow can't deal nicely with the no religion rule.

This is a band management issue and not a religious issue
is my interpretation. If, or rather when, it descends into
religious bickering, we're done. It will be moved to the Lobby or closed.
Just telling you now.

Stanley Design · #17 01-13-2009, 05:00 PM

Look at the situation from their perspective. They are religious nuts and probably have swear words or "blasphemous" things being yelled through a PA loud enough for neighbours and friends to hear outside of the house. My parents were very much the same way when I was young and played in THE most offensive band lyrically in my basement even though they aren't religious!

Maybe they aren't going to force you to be faithful, but maybe respectful to their household while they let you make your racket?

davec · #18 01-13-2009, 05:05 PM

bad people, I don't know, LIARS..... well yes. Be honest, there are other gigs singers...

Ampeg SVT · #19 01-13-2009, 05:08 PM

I had the same problem as the OP, except I was the one with the religious parent. I had to quit because my mother thought that metal was "evil" and "satanic" and it became a problem because I couldn't get rides to practice and shows.

I think it is probably best not to lie to the kid's parents as that will make things worse down the road, you will probably have to find a new singer whether you like it or not. You might be able to hook up with him later if he figures things out with his parents (if he can, it can be pretty hard to do it).

Infernal Affair · #20 01-13-2009, 05:12 PM

Seems awfully closed minded of his parents. However, if you believe in what you believe then don't pretend that you're something you aren't. This is coming from a Christian who has felt forced to either cover up or hide his beliefs quite a few times in his life. People should see you for who you are despite your beliefs, and if they can't get that past their heads then there isn't any need to bother with them. And this applies whether you're Christian, Hindi, athiest, Mormon, whatever. Our belief systems may disagree with each other, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't respect and love one another.

Since this directly affects the band, it's something you guys should meet about and discuss. If it's a huge issue with the singer, then why keep him? It may sound pretty mean since he's your friend, but I could see much bigger problems in the future if you continue in this direction.