Quit my band last night

Loose Cannon · #1 02-09-2008, 07:35 AM

Guess I'm looking for some sympathy.

I have been with the drummer and guitarist for the past (omg, has it really been?) six years, and had the best time of my life. They were some truly genuine guys, the best friends one could ask for.

Recently, we found a new second guitarist and girl singer who really brought it all together. We were getting great feedback, and we thought we could "take it to the next level". Then, one day, things weren't the same anymore. I met a girl (not the new singer) who has changed my life. I have never known someone like her before. The other band members were going more into musical direction that my heart could not follow. (I am just not much into contemporary country music) I saw the whole thing was about to start taking much more time commitment than I have available right now, and it just didn't feel like it was the right band for me anymore.

I know it sounds like "the girl broke up the band". That's really not quite true. She encourages me to play, and was surprised when I told her what I was going to do.

I don't want to quit playing altogether. I am a decent bass player, and there is nothing like going out and playing for people. I will find another band, maybe in a week, maybe in a few months. This sucks, but it was time for a change.

On second thought, I'm not looking for sympathy.

I have made many changes in my life in the past year, and everything has ended up with a positive effect. This is just the way it goes sometimes.

Thanks for listening!

fenderhutz · #2 02-09-2008, 07:42 AM

I remember the story.

If you don't dig the music, you probably aren't having fun. This has nothing to do with the new lady, just your personal preference.

Bands come and go.

invader3k · #3 02-09-2008, 07:55 AM

Stuff happens. Six years is a long time to play with any group, often. See my other thread where I just left a band I'd been with for eight years. Sometimes it's tough, but if you're thinking about it, it probably means it's time to move on. Keep doors open...who knows? Maybe you'll be playing with some of those people again, eventually.

**T. B. Player** · #4 02-09-2008, 08:08 AM

Even if you DO dig the music, stuff happens.

I was into contemporary country music of the early 90's - positive inspiring messages and awesome players - Steve Wariner, Ricky Skaggs, Paul Overstreet - then they all went away. Now they're doing Gospel and Bluegrass. I found that bluegrass is very close to Celtic music in terms of instrumentation, and thought it would be a really nice crossover thing to do. But the Celtic guys didn't want to do bluegrass, and all my bluegrass friends say they can't stand Celtic.

The band I got into in the early 2000's was a contemporary country - did originals..singer had a record contract...the guys in the band were phenomenal. I had a blast! Then the manager decided to bring in a new drummer, keyboard player and guitarist from another band, and then said I could stay if I wanted to. The drummer was phenomenal...but he left after two gigs because he got a job in North Carolina - and the search began, as well as the rotating door of other back up players.

Sometimes it's not worth it.

Just make sure the love of your life supports your music and knows that is a part of who you are. Then when you return to playing, she won't get all weird on you because you're not spending time with her. If you're playing music and getting paid for it, it's a job, and should be handled just like any other profession. If you're going out and just making music "for fun," hangin' out at the other guy's house, then going out to hear bands, etc., etc. - then she has a right to complain.

Z

Loose Cannon · #5 02-09-2008, 09:24 AM

Thanks so much, you guys!

Hey T. B. Player, I really liked Steve Wariner and Ricky Skaggs, too!!! But some of what I hear these days just doesn't do it for me. Songs like "International Harvester" and " She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy", are for other people. I mean, I grew up in a rural area and milked dairy cows for ten years. I've plowed fields, baled hay, pulled calves, built fence,... everything! The song "Country Boys and Girls Gettin' Down on the Farm" just isn't the way I remember it.

Oh well, at least we all parted as friends. That's the best thing.

And yes, she definitely supports the music thing. She thinks it makes me "unique". .....Around here, it does! (haha)

lawsonman · #6 02-09-2008, 10:33 AM

Just remember everything happens for a reason.In 1988 I quit a fantastic band.Every one of the guys were great friends.We never argued about anything.I just didn't have the time anymore to play every weekend with our kids growing up and a new business starting up.I didn't play gigs for 16 years but now after 3 years of gigging again I love it more than ever.

Valerus · #7 02-09-2008, 12:13 PM

Well you left on good terms and for the right reasons. Don't worry about it!

Munjibunga · #8 02-09-2008, 06:10 PM

That's why Tom Leykis calls 'em "dream killers."

TrevorOfDoom · #9 02-09-2008, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderhutz

I remember the story.

If you don't dig the music, you probably aren't having fun. This has nothing to do with the new lady, just your personal preference.

Bands come and go.

+1
follow your heart.

though it seems bands have done a lot more going for me than coming...